Ratchetball Wives Rundooooown: Lazarus AKA Satan?

Malaysia makes me want to go to sleep...cuz she always looks like she's finsta go to sleep. Don't she? And she's BOR-ING-ah! She bored HERSELF to sleep in that sound booth. LOL!! Anyhoo... Don't nobody want one

of nem funky 'exclusive' Basketball Girlfriends/Baby Mamas/Jump Offs/Wives <which is very rare> chains. Ok...Maybe I do think it's cute, but there will be a knock off available in your local hair store and/or AM/PM shop soon. Don't sweat it. What is up with Malaysia's head gear lately? I don't get it. First the doily head band, then yesterday she was all turbaned out lookin' like she was finsta tell Laura her future & she did... kinda when she said,"You WILL speak to your sister...or I will." Why she think she's always Sister Fix-A-Chick. Stay in your lane, MaLazy Eyes. LOL! But I do wonder what is going on between the sisters. Y'all think its because Gloria stole all the femininity from Laurence...er...a...Laura? LOL! Just kidding...That is sooo wrong...Laura looks nice...She's all dressin' up this season n' thangs....but she'll still 'fart on your face if you lay down.' Hmmm...yeah...Anyhoo...Just as I thought I was gonna like Brooke, I'm kinda gettin' leery of her now...I mean she feels like she can really 'hang' & have a good time with Dr. Jackie & Mrs. Hyde. Then again, Jackie gotta way of making folks feel like that & then....when she can't stifle it no more...OUT JUMPS THE MANIAC!! Brooke gon' learn, I'm sure. Though she shoulda known something when she went to that pool party & seen that psychotic set up with the girls' pictures on the food table. Who prints out Google pics of their party guests & puts them in bedazzled frames as party decor??? And the cards from the .99 cent (Blank Inside) section...with the over the top reaction from Jackie. Hey, cray-cray...YOU wrote the cards...Now...You & your multiple personalities pull yourselves together! Then this chick gonna be upset that the girls didn't react the way SHE wanted them to. What type of one-flew-over-the-cuckoo's-nest type mess is that? She don't wanna be certifiable all by herself. Well, don't worry, Sybil...Your many personalities are crazy right along with you! I seent (yes, seenT) fear in lil ol' Draya's eyes when Jackie said that prayer over her food. It was HI-LARIOUS when she asked,"Who was you praying to?" LOL! Jacked-up got all defensive like, "I heard about all that SatOnic stuff...Lazarus is NOT a friend of mine!" O_o SatONIC? Lazarus?!? We went from talking about Jesus to the devil to a possible drink to a biblical character who was raised from the dead? I even think she actually called him LazaRETH...but whatever...She's so loud AND wrong it's ridiculous. Really....Jackie, Mama Dee & Mama Jones need to put out an Ebonics & Ignorance Tutoring Kit for Dummies translated by Joseline. LOL!!!!! Well, like Jackie Crazy...er...Christie...I'm OFF!! Holla!!!

RatchetBall Wives LA Rundoooown

Some folks just need to try harder than others to make themselves relevant...like Malaysia with that whole made up, silly, 'if my friend don't like you, neither do I' high school 'code of the streets' beef she's trying to have with Brooke. Don't look at me like that, Malaria! Oh...that's right...she can't help it. LOL! Don't she have one of them looks though, that if you were in an argument with her, you would want to smack her?!? But don't let them giant veneers & that bougie foreign country name fool ya! Don't forget Malaysia is her MIDDLE name...her gubment name is LaQuisha & she's straight outta Compton, sweetie! Don't get it twisted...like that oogly doily headband she had on yesterday! & you know you need to second guess something if Grandma Jackie likes it! HA! Still, that mess is petty! I'm liking ol' Brooke more & more as the episodes go on...Love that she checked Macedonia & her friend with,"If you're

wanting to fight over a man, you've already lost!" Check, please!! Woooh! She ain't told nothin' but the truth, bless her big eyeballs! Her peripheral vision gotsta be off the chain...lookin' like Bambi...the deer, y'all! SMH! Anyhoo...Jackie's daughter's coming back! And her loco mama ain't even have to fake her own death to manipulate her neither. Whaaaat?!? I guess it's true...There's a love for your mother that's like none other!......I think she just underestimated the cost of living alone. That's it. That's all! Let her save up some paper...She'll be gone again...Prolly further away to...like...Malaysia! HAAA!!! I want Jackie to stop tellin' folks she's a model. You WERE a model, you walkin' insane asylum! Now you're just taking pictures with Bengay rubbed all over your wrankly self! Need tah be modelin' straight jackets for Shady Groves Mental Hospital..."I'm not only a spokesperson...I'm a client too!" & the branding on her ham hock-as Draya so eloquently put it ....with the over the top hug for the tattoo artist...My face was just like Draya's...I can't! Speaking of can't....I can't take scenes like the one with Draya & Gloria. I was like Chris Brown in a room full of Women Against Domestic Violence Activists...UN-COM-FORT-ABLE! Okaaaay! Matt got Gloria so messed up that she's about to forget the ball & go straight for the basket! SMH! The foolery! Welp...Like Jackie's old jugs of curdled milk in EVERY scene, I'm OUT! HOLLA!!!

Basketball Lies Rundown

Malaysia...Ok..that's all I have to say about her. Go ahead Gloria, trying to get your acting on! K..that about wraps her up... Um, Draya....You are cute & e'erthang, but please check your diva-tude at the door! Don't start smelling yourself too much too soon cuz ain't nobody else gonna wanna get a whiff of ya! While you busy slamming doors in folks faces, you're allowing other broads to walk through those same doors. Shoooot....e'erbody gotta eat....even strippers, turned video vixen, turned reality talk show star, turned bikini line designers! Okaaaay! And is it just me or does Brooke kinda resemble Kandi from Real Housewives of Atlanta? She even has that kinda nasally voice like ol' girl...Hmmm.. Jackie is still going with the certifiable theme. Why Laura play her like that though? Telling her to get out of her sister's house, then calling her to come back so they can see her boots...Just blatantly (childishly) taunting her...Then when Laura calls to actually meet up with her, Jackie's like "I'm was so glad she called & wanted to meet with me because I didn't know

where we stood as 'girl friends'." What?!? She basically told you to kick rocks in your biker boots & you're not sure where you stood? You stood outside looking stupid, holding a conversation with a bunch of hens who don't like you, in your dang biker boots! I ain't gonna lie...I didn't understand why Laura called to meet with her after she played Geriatric Jackie like that. I understand wanting to squash the beef...but you were JUST bullying her, in a sense. That's why I think a lot of this stuff is staged or plotted out by the producers. Anyhoo- Laura look good, don't she? She must be on that Jenny Craig & that Michael Jackson (cuz her nose is different too). Hee! Heeee! Welp, that about does it...for this go 'round & rundown! Just like Brooke's eyes, it's time for me to part ways! LOL!!! HOLLA!!

(LATE) Love(less) & Hoodbunnies REUNION PART 2 RUNDOOOOOWN

Again I apologize for my tardiness, but FB was trippin' yesterday & I had to log off 'fore I launched the PC out the window! Enough of those sorry's...In my Mimi voice, "I got sorry's greetin' me at the front door!" LOL! Anyhoo, I am so glad this season is over...kinda...cuz I am as tired as K.Michele's hairstylist of that dang-on ratchet triangle with Joseline n' nem! But Joseline is Justalyin' when she be sayin', "I'm usin' heem fuh his ses n' hees money!", cuz in the next breath she's cryin' talkin 'bout, "Nobody care fuh me like Steebie!" Just like Mimi, she's just decided to lay down & allow Stupid J to walk all over her in them Italian loafers. SMH! And he ain't even have no ride? No vehicle?? So that scene when he showed up at Mimi's client's house he had to get a ride there? Such a shame. Stupid J gets lamer & lamer by the minute. "But I gotta car now tho!" Shaddup, you rat-faced loser! Then that mess with the Old Couple...Really, Karlie? A polygamist? That was the most meaningless dig ever & she spent $15 to put it on a t-shirt...idiot. Bobblehead Ben is not a polygamist just cuz he had a naked woman in his house hours after y'all's 'non-proposal'. She obviously don't know the definition of the word just like she don't know she shouldn't make fun of somebody's teeth when it looks like she's been eatin McBrick sammiches. But ignorance is bliss...or so they say. Speaking of ignorance...Mama Dee is just about as blissful as they come! I mean, she really is living in La-La Land with all that royalty talk. Yeah, she is definitely the Queen of her own little KingDUMB! She's def crossed that line into the Land of Soft White Walls & Self-Hug Jackets when she brought out that Burger King crown & placed it on her Prince's head. Scrappy HAD to be embarrassed, man. And the thang was so huge, had it not been for his gigantic teeth, that crown woulda been around his neck. She musta sized that thing for Benzino. LOL! Well, Erica got her ring y'all! Much to the dis-my-ee of Shiz-ny-ee who had to leave the stage to criz-ny-ee! Poor girl. But she ain't leave 'fore she put Lil Scrappy on blast...Well, she put herself on blast really...cuz she was the dumb one to put HIS stuff in HER name! Females really will fall for the okie-doke over some jokie-joke, won't they? "YOU SAID U WAN'T GON' DO ME LIKE DAT!" Okaaaay....You think you was the only one he made empty promises to? He was playing you & his baby moms like Uno. Trying to make you believe you was the only one...Only you knew that he was keeping you a secret as the tape showed. Why else would you be a secret, speshul? Your secret love, will never be your true love! Don't nobody listen to Luther no more?!? Well, at least she ain't have all that hair to weigh her down as she made her dramatic exit off the stage...She just got up with her 27 piece & fled, y'all! She went from looking like the Cowardly Lion to one of the Wicked Witch's lil monkeys, didn't she? Buckeey gonna be alright though...I mean she survived being dumped by Flavor Flav, didn't she? Heeeey...Maybe Mama Dee could dance on that pole for Flavor Flav...Yeah... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit... Welp, that about does it for this season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta Rundowns! I've enjoyed & was appalled by every minute of it! Like Shay 'Buckeey' Johnson, Jiz-ny-ee has left the building!! Holla!

BRAXTON BRRREAK-DOWN!! Who's Thirsty? Gabe & Andre...That's who...Hmmm...More like PARCHED!!

  I know y'all were gettin' antsy awaiting my breakdown. I finsta keep it short but sassy...I'm gonna make it snappy, Pappy. Toni- Just cuz u gots the most ' medical conditions' don't make you no doctor! Pow! Just when w

e thought Tamar couldn't get any more extra, she does & puts the 'extra' in the freezer! Best quote of the night was by her daddy, "When you gonna take 'em out the freezer & put 'em in the oven?' Right! We needs to get the buns a-bakin'! But no pressure! I was probably more disappointed than Towanda that her date ended up being that LOSER, Andre! I mean...That's WORSE than a blind date. You already KNOW he's a complete & utter waste of skin. THEN all the gifts...dinner...Who's payin' for awla dis?!? Mmhmmmmm....Her mama sho'll got her back for those dates she sent her on! Matter fact, Towanda owes Mama Braxton a lil somethin' extra for that little mess she pulled! Shoooooooot....Is his name Andre? Who cares? Then there's GABE-AH! I cannot STAND him...BUT Trina...man...Girl, you can't keep stringing him along using him for his 'finances'! If you're done with him...BE DONE WITH HIM!! Don't invite him back into your life on the 'business' tip & then try to act all upset when jealousy & stalking tendencies rear their ugly heads! As long as he has you up under his wallet he has you under his control....Seriously FREE YOURSELF, girl! AND...once again...Where is Trina from??? Traci. Why does she sound like she's from Fargo or somewhere with elongated O's??? Did y'all notice how I just threw Traci up in there? Yeah...That's how they be doing her! She gets in where she fits in, poor chile...Anyhoo, well, I kept it short & sassy just like I promised! Holla!!

Love(less) & Hoodbunnies REUNION Rundooooown

MAN! Y'all know I could hardly wait to talk about this buffoonery today! Wow-sersssss! Soooo much happened last night, I gots to get my thoughts together! Ok...First things first! Karlie just admit it...You're old. It's ok. Seasoned is good...maybe not for you to be trying to get a rap/singing career off the ground...but it's good for baking cookies & being a grandma. Maybe you & Rasheeda can make some hits together...Call yourselves the "G-OLD-en Girls". 30+ is really too old to just be gettin' started on being a rap artist. I know Rasheeda been started, but she ain't got no where...Y'all need to try out for the X-Factor, then y'all will have a little better chance if you make it in the 30 & over group. K.Michele went in on Karlie  (she did look like Michael Jackson in Thriller) AND Rasheeda...Talked about how Rasheeda disrespected her hubby, how their marriage wasn't gonna work...but THEN....she had the AUDACITY to talk about the bags under her eyes... & THAT'S when Rasheeda felt froggy! You can dog me &/or my marriage, but don't you DARE talk about my eye luggage!! Her priorities are all messed up! Funny how she kept calling K.Michele bipolar but she's the one that couldn't control her temper. Hah, well...I do know that K.Michele's hair looked a little bipolar...It ain't know WHAT it was doin'? I guess her hair stylist ran out of things to do with her hair after all them changes she went thru on the show. But she ain't winning no gold medals so let me leave her hair alone. LOL! Ericka looked pretty...Yeah. Soooo.... Joseline sure called Scrappy out though...."Yo man know Ah'ma womeen, Ah yoose ta dahnce fah heem aw dee time...He know!" Yeah...tuck that tail Scrappy. Stuff started gettin' real tense when they started talkin' about that scuffle between Scrappy & Sleazy J...then they brought on Mama Dee & it went from real tense to real confusing...Mama Dee talkin'boutthronesqueens&princes say whaaat? No better way to kill tension than to throw in some meaningless derailing jibber jabber from a retired pimp addicted to prescription meds. Anyhoo...A lot of the relationships seemed to change since the show during the reunion last night. Friends on the show were no longer friends on the reunion...The only relationship that seems to be intact is the infamous triangle of Joseline, Stupid J, & Mimi. Mimi tried to sit up there like everything was everything- putting on this strong front, but the real came out when Mona asked the #1 question & Mimi stutter-stepped & once again used their offspring as a ticket to ride the Stevie J Community Bus. I have to even almost respect Joseline for not only keeping it real, admitting to only wanting that diseased rat's money & 'mess', confessing her true 'love' & 'respect' for Mimi even though she was sleeping with her man...& still is, but she's also a 'Woman of God'<insert choir music overture here>. Yeah. Soooo....Um...Yeeeah....Maybe one of her identities was at some point...but um...'Joseline Hernandez, you have a leetle work tah do, boo, 'fore you cahn claim dat titow.'<in my Shenellica Bettencourt voice> HA! Well, I don't know if the side of my brain that allows me to consume this utter nonsense will have recuperated by next week or not, but I will try to minimize my ignorance intake this week so that I can indulge in the festivities that will be the Reunion Part 2 next week! Until then, I'm gonna make like Karlie's birth certificate & get lost! HAAA!!

Love(less) & Hoodbunnies FINALE Rundown Stevie J with his own 'bus'!

The MALES of L&HHATL...MEN are questionable...

Love(less) & Hoodbunnies Rundown: Ok...Wow! So much to say about last night's finale episode! Where do I start? I know...let's go with the non-factors first. Rasheeda & her MANager! Mmm......that's about it. LOL! 'Cept K.Michele had me crackin' up with that impression of Rasheeda's eye baggage! LOL!!! She's perty but she do got some crazy bags! She STILL don't believe K.Michele got beat! Just because you see somebody in a relaxed environment with an audience all the time does not mean you KNOW them & how they act behind closed doors. Most people act different in relationships, especially when there's no audience! Of course dude is on his best behavior b/c of the accusations against him & his desire to make K.Michele out a liar. I wouldn't mess with Rasheeda no more if I was K.Michele. That ain't no kinda loyalty. & what's friendship without loyalty? Like Erika, let's move on! YAAAY! I'm so happy to see that she is making an actual attempt to move on & was the first to be honest with Scrappy with the 'relationship' thing. 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!' LOL! Then she's finsta holla at an Italian dude?!? A realtor?!? You go, girl! Who wants to lug a thug when you can be carried by a stud?!? I'll tell you who...Buckie aka Shae wants to. She loves Scrappy's dirty draws & his broken language, ya heard? Hurt her lil feelings...& her big hair...HA! Then it showed Scrappy bein' spoon fed by his crazy Mapa. <--That is not a misspelling. I am now convinced that Mama Dee is not his mama but his papa...I'm just sayin'...Her 'pimp/player' MENtality is a little suspect...& I really couldn't believe Erika would let her daughter be alone with them two hoods. I would be afraid of what's she's learning & NOT learning all at the same time. Speaking of learning...Benzino & his no neck havin' self learnt...yes, learnT that Loosey Goosey, Karlie a lesson fo' sho'! How she gon' get mad when he snatched that ring back & SHE was the one talkin' bout keepin' her options (legs) 'open'?!? I'm sooo glad he felt her out & THEN pulled the ring out....& let her know, "I liked it & was gon' put a ring on it! BUUUUT..." Man...he might need to put an APB out on his neck bone but his back bone is fully intact! Way to go, Bobblehead...er...Benzino! Now on to the train wreck. Yes, Joseline said,"He had ses wit mah bes' freend & I wuz dere...I washed!" WHAAAAAT in the NASTY, INFESTED world is that?!? These people better be gettin' tested for HIV/AIDS cuz they are just ASKING for some sort of virus with the mess they're doing! And Sicko J with that t-shirt on that read 'I AM GOD'...WRONG! You are God-LESS!!! I'm sure God hasn't struck him down yet because He's got something much more punishing than that in store for that serpent. Then all that bus talk...I can't. You ain't drivin' no bus, nooka! YOU AIN'T GOT NO LICENSE!!<--In my Martin voice. E'erytime we see him in a car he's on the passenger side like the scrub he is or he's slithering away from wherever he's at. That thing he had in the studio with hiiiimm...Y'all thought K.Michelle's teeth were big...CHIIIIIILD! Ol' girl look like she could bite a hole in a doughnut, honey! She has to have a TEAM of dentists for those mugs! Her teeth upstaged e'erybody in that scene! Speaking of stages & scenes, that scene at Mimi's 'client's house' was sooooo staged. How the idiot know she was there & who shows up at somebody's client's house to discuss relationship issues? Then Stupid J did it again, "You look too cute to argue." Passive-aggressive sociopath is the correct diagnosis, I do believe. I really hope Mimi is sincerely done with him. It's kinda weird that Joseline was the homewrecker, but Mimi is LITERALLY The Clean Up Woman. LOL!!! Welp, I guess that'll do us for L&HH Atl this season, but don't get too comfortable, more ratchetness is to come on September 10th with Basketball Wives LA!!! GYEAH, BOYEEEEE! HOLLA!!