THIS GOES OUT TO ALL MY BABIES' MAMAS

Looove Message: I have been a Baby Mama. I was bitter, angry...I felt that it was unfair that I had to be the one to 'do it all by myself'...after all, I didn't make these babies by myself, right? That's true & I was entitled to feel this way, I thought...Life was really hard for me when I had that mentality because I thought, I have to right this wrong...I have to MAKE him pay! I have to MAKE him responsible! Well...How many of y'all know that didn't work? How many of y'all know that all I did was cause stress on not only myself but the children? So many talk about the 'promises' made pre-sex & pre-baby & PRE-MARRIAGE...How many of y'all know that the promises made PRE-MARRIAGE are NULL & VOID if the marriage never occurs? Shoot, sometimes they're null & void if the marriage does occur, truth be told. Anyhoo, I digress. The true point to this message is GET OVER YOURSELVES! If, in fact, you are the only parent raising your kid(s) then you need to be thee BEST parent you can be. And you can't be THAT parent if you're running around playing the detective, saboteur, manipulator, vindictive parent! I had to learn that I can't MAKE my child's father do ANYTHING he didn't want to or just flat out wasn't going to do. I had to come to grips with & TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for MY role in my child being in a broken home. I vowed to be a good, educated, productive mother, being that I was the PRIMARY PARENT in my kids' lives! I couldn't wait around for dude to 'get it right'. I had to create a stable environment for my kids! I had to make sure they felt safe & secure! I had to be STRONG for them! And my children are pretty good kids. They have no real behavioral problems except for a little attitude & smart lip once in a while. But for the grace of God go I! HE kept me & mine! Regardless of what sin I was in, I kept my children in church. I learned early on that wasn't nothing cute about cursing out my 'baby daddy' in front of my kids. I learned early on that talking bad about him wasn't doing ANYTHING for my situation except for possibly doing more damage (to my children) than good. GET A GRIP! No you SHOULDN'T have to go it alone, but a lot of things SHOULDN'T have happened, including but not limited to, having sex out of wedlock. That baby SHOULDN'T suffer because his/her parents are BOTH too immature to see that HE/SHE is what truly matters. Instead of trying to change the other parent, concentrate on yourself. Make sure YOU'RE the best parent YOU can be. It may not be the picture perfect life you dreamed, but let go & let God be the Artist & He will most certainly place the strokes of paint where they should be. ♥