What's Good For the Goose Is BAD For the Gander: J-Quizzle on the fight @ Elsa's

     Hey! It's been a loooong time! Too long! But I just HAD to blog about this one.

     So... I just watched the fight that happened at Elsa's in Dayton, Ohio. (Insert Blank Stare here) It was the most ratchet mess ever. Not only do you have several Black women cursing, throwing glasses, flat out BRAWLING like a bunch of animals, but you have Black men laughing, cheering and RECORDING it! Thanks bunches for setting 'us' back 100 years, hood bunnies! Now, I am the first to say, "That was THEM. They were representing THEMSELVES. It has nothing to do with ME." BUT. IT. DOES. Why? Because I frequent a lot of establishments on that side of town. Me, my fam & friends frequent a lot of establishments, period.  It does make 'us', as a people, look bad. It's not fair that I have to get the side eye because those jokers didn't know how to act like CIVILIZED ADULTS. Standing on seats, acting/looking stupid  and not giving two stinkin' farts about the other INNOCENT patrons and employees who may have been caught in the crossfire of hurled glasses, fists & profanity.

     YES, other races get in bar brawls & such. I get that. HOWEVER, when 'we' do it, if y'all haven't caught on yet, 'we' are LUMPED in TOGETHER. It's not "Oh...Bobby Jo just got into another bar fight. That boy just can't get right." It's "See, you can't let Blacks/Niggers into our establishments. THEY don't know how to act." I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying that's how it IS. It's just like I had to tell my son when he came back from school one day and had been given detention for running around the classroom. He said, "It's not fair, (insert classmate's name here, a White kid) was chasing me. He was running too." I had to explain to my child that though it's not fair, it's how things go. ( And, yes, I told him that if he would not have run, so&such could not chase him) HOWEVER, both boys were guilty of the same misbehavior. I had to run it down to my child that what he does as a Black child is amplified. It's sad but true. 'We' can't do what many other races do and 'get away with it' because (some IGNORANT) people are already on 'alert' when it comes to Black people. Two White boys can play the game of pencils/knuckles and it will be a couple of boys being boys playing the GAMES boys play, but if Black boys play it will be called 'violent' or acts of aggression (in a predominantly White school- I have been witness to this, as well). Do you know how many times I have been in a 'discussion' in my workplace and the White co-worker will just be 'making his/her point' and when I start 'making my points' I'm being 'argumentative' and it has been actually said to me "I'm not trying to argue with you."? This is the world I/'we' live in. This is 'our' reality. 'We' have to try harder to be seen as nonviolent, to not be seen as the aggressor. 'We' don't need to engage in acts that make 'us' look like the uncivilized hooligans some people already perceive 'us' to be. 'We' need to work harder at proving them wrong instead doing things to prove they are right about 'us' because, as 'we' know, they're NOT.

     Yes, in comparison to all of the good, civilized, productive, intelligent, successful, AWESOME Black citizens we have in the world, it was only a handful of 'us' that were at that Elsa's acting like complete idiots, with no home training. However, with the video going viral, it is a representation of the Black race to the billions of people who reside in cyberspace. As much as it's UNFAIR, it's the UGLY truth.

     To those who keep the video in circulation by reposting it, you're not helping 'us' out any. Stop spreading & promoting the ignorance. Either that, or stop getting mad at how the world views 'us'. IJS. 

Get Off Facebook & Get Your Face IN A Book

My kids: Why can't we have a Facebook? Everybody is getting one.
Me: Not true. You're not. |o)

I don't think children should have Facebook accounts...for a few reasons:

#1: Most of them under 16 & some 16 & older are not mature enough to handle the responsibility of having their own account on the internet. They 'friend' just about any & everybody & put any & all their business out there. The pics some of them post, like the ones with the kissy lips & cleavage showing, boys with their shirts off, etc., are too much for teens to be posting on a social internet site. They attract predators & are not mature emotionally or mentally enough to handle that kind of attention.

#2: Facebook Drama/Bullying. As an immature<not a bad word, by the way> kid, it's hard not to get caught up. Heck...we have adults on Facebook that can't seem to stay out of drama & Internet Gangster activity.

#3: Most kids are going to friend adults: i.e. parents, aunties, cousins, etc...The things folks post on the adult pages can be viewed by the kid(s). Some of it is too mature for kids to be seeing (pictures, stats, etc).

I will use my discretion on whether to friend a kid or not. If they are 13 & under, I will more than likely ignore their friend request. I challenge all the adults on FB to do the same & to be ok with telling your children 'No'...You can control at least a little of what they are exposed to in life. Don't worry about being 'friends' on Facebook, be parents in real life! #OOOOHPARENTALCONTROL-OH! <In my Prince voice.

JQ Gets In Touch With Her Male Side

LADIES: QUIT SMELLIN' YOURSELVES!! Just because a man says 'Hi' to you or tells you look nice today...or likes a status/post of yours on a FaceBook does NOT mean he is trying to get with you. No need to look down your nose at a man when he passes you in the hallway at work and actually makes eye contact with you and actually speaks, respectfully to you! It, more than likely, doesn't mean anything more. He probably could even care less about your response as long as it's positive. Be grateful he was respectful enough to even speak! I was conversing a male friend the other day and he said he was snubbed by three (3) women when he spoke to them on three (3) different occasions in one (1) morning! Come on, ladies...It doesn't have to be that way! I bet the 3 aforementioned women are all single too...& the attitude of "I'm too sexy for your mere innocent salutations." is going to keep them that way. The song doesn't say "If you wanna speak/like my status/compliment me, you shoulda put a ring on it!" SHEESH!! You kind of females are making it hard on yourselves & the other sisters who don't possess that same 'bad'-itude. Don't no man want a woman with a rank-stank mood malfunction. Lips tooted on a regular, eyes ready to roll at any given moment. Men like to look into soft faces not hardened masks! Every man ain't your dog of an ex, loser of a father, or pervert of a supervisor! That wall you got up just might be warding off your Knight In Shining Armor. Once you get that chip off your shoulder, maybe you'll have room for a man there!! POW!!

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Many of us, as parents, live our life investing in our children...God used His child to invest in us. If someone told you that you would have to raise your child, then after 33 yrs, your child will have to give his/her life for a world of people, most of which would despise him/her...Would you be able to do it? #TheUltimateSacrifice

John 3:16- For God so loved the world, that He gave His ONLY begotten Son that whosoever believe in Him shall not perish but shall have everlasting life.

Change Has to Begin Somewhere

Many are talking about the Trayvon Martin case & saying,"People BEEN getting killed. People are killed every day! Why are we wanting to take a stand now?!?" This is sad, but true. People have been getting killed. Mess like this does happen on a daily. HOWEVER- some of the circumstances in this case are different...the biggest one being that the very people that we trust to keep us safe are protecting the guilty. This may not be 'new' either, but there comes a point when too much is too much. They didn't start marching & protesting when the first Black was hung by the KKK...It took a small group of people to say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!" If people want to 'start' taking a stand NOW, what's wrong with that? At least they STARTED taking a stand. A 'movement' has to begin somewhere! Sometimes we are our own worst enemy...Why DISCOURAGE positive change? Who cares WHEN it takes place as long as IT TAKES PLACE! Better NOW than NEVER!! If you don't want to take part in it...YOU don't want to wear a hoodie...So be it...It's your choice...Don't try to hold back those who do...Those who do, we need to REMAIN positive, peaceful & faithful...No matter what happens, GOD IS STILL ON THE THRONE!

U Gotta Be Kiddin' Me!

So I'm listening to the radio this A.M., & I know some of you may be tired of hearing about this & to that I say... Oh well! Anyhoo, I hear on the news that they found traces of marijuana in Trayvon Martin's blood. Okaaaay...Is that what killed him??? Nooooo....A man with an anger-management problem & huge hang-ups on a certain race did! Why don't they test Zimmerman?? HE'S the one that took an innocent teenager's life! I don't know how you all's places of employment works, but if I was to get into a wreck & kill somebody on company time, they would test MY blood...& maybe the victim too, depending on the evidence at the scene, but they would definitely test MY blood as well! This is outrageous! For all we know, Trayvon could've smoked a doobie 2 days prior! That would show TRACES of marijuana in his blood! What does that have to do with the price of tea & a pack of Skittles in America?!? What was in Zimmerman's system? He was the one chasing folks down in the night AGAINST THE POLICE'S INSTRUCTIONS, calling them 'coons' & such! Sounds like he was the one high on something...besides his racial status' pedestal that is!

The ParentalDrop-In

The Parental Drop-in

by Joy Quarmiley on Monday, June 6, 2011

Just read a post by my cousin, Rhonda, where she arrived home unexpectedly & caught the kids gaming it up & not cleaning it up (the house that is). 

The Parental Drop-in is one of the best parental moves EVER! While Rhonda dropped in on her kids at home, this move also works at school. Nothing like the kid(s) looking up & seeing their loving, possibly angry/amused/pleasantly surprised parent standing in the doorway of their class/bed/living room/kitchen etc. By doing only a 3 to 4 of these drop-ins every month or so will get those lil crumbsnatchers on the ball for fear of never knowing when you're gonna show up! Don't let them get too used to routine. 

Use the Parental Drop-in TODAY!

This move can also be entitled Spousal/Mate Drop-in...Remember, no matter how much they try to make it YOUR fault because YOU came home early...It's NOT!

Parenting PSA #10568

PARENTS: When your child asks 'Why?', answer them with something besides, "Because I said so." We have gotten past the day & age of 'because I said so'. Too much is going on in the world for us to satisfy our children's curious appetites with that empty line. I'm not talking about when you tell the kids to do the dishes or something of that nature. I'm speaking of those times when you tell them they can't go somewhere that your gut tells you they shouldn't or if you tell them they can't have a boyfriend/girlfriend until a certain age. If they (mostly girls) inquire why they shouldn't be hugging up on all of their little male friends...or why they shouldn't have sex until marriage, etc... EXPLAIN to them WHY so that they don't go looking for explanations in all the wrong places. If you fail to talk to your kids because you're high up on your parental throne, someone else- who does not love or care for your kids as much as you do- will slip in & do the explaining for you, & could possibly teach them the exact opposite of what you want them to learn. They will be limited to the knowledge of those who are willing to plant & spread their seeds of ignorance all because of your parental pride, or fear of embarrassment of having to address the 'tough' subjects limited your teaching to 'because I said so'.