Basketball Wives 2014 Rundown: A Chani Caught In Headlights

Basketball Wives RUNDIZZLE!!!!!
  I ain't done one of these in a miz-inute, but I feel I

have to after last night's episode. Mmkay. British, honey triscuit, if you have to tell your man when you leave town to 'be a good boy' and you don't want have to hear none of his "stories" about how 'she got my phone & put her number in', then, my little English Muffin, you might need to re-evaluate your "relationship". I have left my husband to go on trips on many of an occasion & I ain't NEVER had to tell him "Don't cheat on me while I'm gone!" WHA-?!? I might tell him to FEED the dog, but never had to tell him not to BE the dog! Okaaay! Then she basically said "even though I don't WANT to put up with x, y & z, I will...but I don't WANT to." Type o' mess is that??? Jackie too. Perfect Doug cheat with Aggressive Asian Women???? Why EVER would you think that, with your perfect & trusting marriage??? You role-playing Halle Berry n' all?? Hmmph. (Just threw up in my mouth a lil bit. I'm sure Halle did too.) BTW- Love the friend that Malaysia is. Jackie Christie is as CORNY as she is crazy. With that dang bottle her & her Squidward lookin' hubby posed for. I know that was the week before, but had to mention that MESS. Antyways, you, ma'am, at the not-so-tender age of 67, don't know what 'golden showers' are??? Stupid. Brown Boy? SMH. I think she didn't want to put her name on it cuz she knows folks can't stand her & won't buy it. She knows. Now as for Draya and Chani. Tweren't Chani a tad surprised when Draya & her boo just rolled up on the scene. Her face was priceless! Bet she wanted to pull that thick ol' toboggan down over that quiverin' mole. "We do drop-ins too." Yaaaassss!!!! You could tell that Chani was sooo caught up. She wasn't sayin' nothin' til Orlando told Jackie she wasn't his mama. Now he's being disrespectful after she's the one that called him an ugly m'f-er? (And SHE'S married to Doug Christie. Mmhmm...) Anyhoo- Why was Jackie on ten though??? She was all the way turnt, yes, turnT up. Then Chantel taking out earrings & thangs, but NEVER got froggy...cept with Orlando for a second, when she focused on him getting mouthy with her mom who was tripping all the way out on him FIRST. (Wasn't she just hating her mom last season? Yeah...I digress..)Then she stood behind the couch. Ok. "You bes' be glad this couch is holdin' me back!" LOL! As soon as it was over, she looked like she 'felt some type of way', didn't she? She, for once, looked humbled. Sad almost. Like- from 1 to Rihanna how salty was she? LOL! But I think she really liked Orlando & what he said happened did & she knows she looked stupid. Then Jackie called Sundy. And FOR WHAT???? Really. Her & Sundy are way too old to be in mess like this. Delusional Jackie gon' say "And me & Chani sittin' over here being classy." Oh...Was that class? I musta missed that lesson in Classy 101. The "How to cuss somebody out like a sailor, while being TOO grown & wearing a skully" lesson. RME!! Silly Sundy gonna say "Orlando needs his little butt beat & Doug needs to do it." Are you serious?!? Then again, she IS friends with the most DELUSIONAL lady on this side of the heavens. I do believe YOUNG Orlando would take Doug out at his bad, aged knees & yell "Timberrrr!" while doing it. Quit playin'. Last note, I think that Draya did what she did not only to front Chantel out but to make sure her dude wasn't lying. I don't think she was just going for Chani at all. Yes, I think if you have to do that much footwork, it might not be the REALationship of a lifetime, but if this makes her feel better & more at ease, so be it. I think that Orlando does care for her or he wouldn't have done the footwork with her. Many may feel differently, but either way Draya looked awesome in that halter top jogging suit. ;) I would get one if I wouldn't look like a half pound burger in it. ;) Welp, like Chani's face, I'm gonna get lost! HOLLA!!! 

What's Good For the Goose Is BAD For the Gander: J-Quizzle on the fight @ Elsa's

     Hey! It's been a loooong time! Too long! But I just HAD to blog about this one.

     So... I just watched the fight that happened at Elsa's in Dayton, Ohio. (Insert Blank Stare here) It was the most ratchet mess ever. Not only do you have several Black women cursing, throwing glasses, flat out BRAWLING like a bunch of animals, but you have Black men laughing, cheering and RECORDING it! Thanks bunches for setting 'us' back 100 years, hood bunnies! Now, I am the first to say, "That was THEM. They were representing THEMSELVES. It has nothing to do with ME." BUT. IT. DOES. Why? Because I frequent a lot of establishments on that side of town. Me, my fam & friends frequent a lot of establishments, period.  It does make 'us', as a people, look bad. It's not fair that I have to get the side eye because those jokers didn't know how to act like CIVILIZED ADULTS. Standing on seats, acting/looking stupid  and not giving two stinkin' farts about the other INNOCENT patrons and employees who may have been caught in the crossfire of hurled glasses, fists & profanity.

     YES, other races get in bar brawls & such. I get that. HOWEVER, when 'we' do it, if y'all haven't caught on yet, 'we' are LUMPED in TOGETHER. It's not "Oh...Bobby Jo just got into another bar fight. That boy just can't get right." It's "See, you can't let Blacks/Niggers into our establishments. THEY don't know how to act." I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying that's how it IS. It's just like I had to tell my son when he came back from school one day and had been given detention for running around the classroom. He said, "It's not fair, (insert classmate's name here, a White kid) was chasing me. He was running too." I had to explain to my child that though it's not fair, it's how things go. ( And, yes, I told him that if he would not have run, so&such could not chase him) HOWEVER, both boys were guilty of the same misbehavior. I had to run it down to my child that what he does as a Black child is amplified. It's sad but true. 'We' can't do what many other races do and 'get away with it' because (some IGNORANT) people are already on 'alert' when it comes to Black people. Two White boys can play the game of pencils/knuckles and it will be a couple of boys being boys playing the GAMES boys play, but if Black boys play it will be called 'violent' or acts of aggression (in a predominantly White school- I have been witness to this, as well). Do you know how many times I have been in a 'discussion' in my workplace and the White co-worker will just be 'making his/her point' and when I start 'making my points' I'm being 'argumentative' and it has been actually said to me "I'm not trying to argue with you."? This is the world I/'we' live in. This is 'our' reality. 'We' have to try harder to be seen as nonviolent, to not be seen as the aggressor. 'We' don't need to engage in acts that make 'us' look like the uncivilized hooligans some people already perceive 'us' to be. 'We' need to work harder at proving them wrong instead doing things to prove they are right about 'us' because, as 'we' know, they're NOT.

     Yes, in comparison to all of the good, civilized, productive, intelligent, successful, AWESOME Black citizens we have in the world, it was only a handful of 'us' that were at that Elsa's acting like complete idiots, with no home training. However, with the video going viral, it is a representation of the Black race to the billions of people who reside in cyberspace. As much as it's UNFAIR, it's the UGLY truth.

     To those who keep the video in circulation by reposting it, you're not helping 'us' out any. Stop spreading & promoting the ignorance. Either that, or stop getting mad at how the world views 'us'. IJS. 

Basket(cases)ball & one actual WIFE Rundooooown:

Sorry so late folks, but like with Susie's mouth work, better late than never! HAAA! Anyhoo, not a lot happened this week really. I mean...Evelyn cried about her lost love Oucho Cinco again...UGH!! I've been over this story since Evelyn's six stitches got eaten up by that vein that pops out in the middle of her forehead whenever she gets upset. Listeeen <---In my Jennipha voice---> She jus' needs tah get over it...I mean, Eric almost drownt (yes, drownT) me last season when he threw that drink in my face but you don't hear me talkin' about it! Least he di'in't leave you with an Eric Lump!" LOL! Man, I miss Jennipha! (I know it's JenniphER but I like the way she says it. HA! Don't judge me.) I hope they bring her back. Ok...That's all for my honorable mention...Oh...nope...wait...

There's Shaunie. Kaaaaay...Moving right along. The new girl, Tasha! I like her...But I hope she knows that long bang & them furrowed shaped eyebrows ain't foolin' nobody. I can still tell she's cross-eyed! F'real! Can't y'all?!?! She looked like she was trying to focus ...but ...couldn't ...quite... get... them... eyes... on the right track. LOL! I like her though. Now Tami ...Tami ...Tami...You really wanna know why people associate you with negativity all the time??? Wellll...um....It could be that you're so daggum NEGATIVE! Talkin' bout, "I'on knooow....We'ah see what TMZ hasta say...I don't want to keep havin' to induct these broads into the Tami Roman School of 'This Is Who the F I Am'! "....Ok...THAT was funny. But for real, Tami! Who are you that folks have to prove themselves to you, but you don't have to prove yourself to NOBODY! You can TMZ folks 'so you can have a leg up on 'em' but can't nobody ask another chick about you! You're a tad of a bully, Ms. Roman.

Then Susie ol' "When in Tami's presence, do as the Roman do!" tail. Gonna actually ask that woman about her business like that! Put her all out on Front Street at her own dinner table....AND she just got awladat jaw work done too!! Askin' awl nem questions like nem joints can't get dislocated...AGAIN! Woooh! That chile is dumber than a room temperature beer! HAHAHA!!! Chick was heated too...She squared up...looked her straight...well...not STRAIGHT, per say...but as straight she could in the eye & said, "What do you think?" Please, Susie...for the love of your newly renovated grill, DO NOT say what you think!!! PUH-LEASE take some Hush Up A.D. (play on Pepcid A.D.= anti-diarrhea, for all my 'speshul' readers...Meep! Meep!) before you answer that completely rhetorical question! Just politely say 'Nevermind.' & stuff your mouth with some bread, girl! Welp...I guess we're gonna have to tune in next week to see if Susie goes back to her lisp or not! Like Tasha's eyes...until we meet again! HOLLA!!!!

 

Losers, Lovers & Hip Hop Reunion RUN-DIZ-NY-EEEEEEE: Mad Molly Maid

Mmmkay...This is gonna be like Scrappy & Ericka's engagement- Short & not so sweet! Small change first. What in the midnight blue sky kinda lipstick did Ariane have on last night?!?! Since singing in the background didn't work out, is she trying her hand at a villainess of some sort? Lady Lil Lips, maybe?? LOL!! For real though... Lesbi-honest...That lipstick looked like it would make her breath stink, amongst other things. HAHAHAAA! Then there was Karlie Old. She makes me yawn on sight. What is her purpose??? On to the next nonfactor...Shay...You still here? AND you're still upset??? Please build a bridge, honey, & get over it! You WERE the side-chick. It's the 2nd season you've been on...You DO know about Ericka...You knew about her in the 1st season you were on, that's why you kept asking that season what you & Scrap was doing. I ain't gonna say he didn't lie a little...but really? You didn't know? Ok. Just like Kirk & Rasheeda's relationship- it's WHAT-EVERRR. The DJ's also make me want to go to sleep. They need to keep to spinning records cuz spinning good story lines out of nothing is not their thing. Can't believe that corny 'Popcorn' mess popped off! Every time she said it I wanted to stick MY head in a microwave! Moving right along...K. Michelle DID get into it with everybody this season, hunh? She needs to get into it with her hairdresser for that unfinished bob. Didn't it look like there was a little more to be done with it? I mean, of all the weaves she keeps, she chose that one for the reunion show? Still love her though, but f'real...Her weave was red wackness. (Say that 3 times fast. LOL!). Anyhoo, did y'all see the Queen Dee all dressed up & nothing to say? She's a queen alright...Queen of Land Irrelevance. Poor Ericka got all up in her feelings, didn't she. I felt for her. And Scrappy's outfit matched his teeth. Big & white. LOL!! Sleazy J was loving it up &, honestly, had me cracking up. Is he an idiot or a genius? Hard to tell with how stupid he has these women acting. Joseline is honest...I think...Idk cuz it was hard to tell what she was saying when she started crying. Her accent went from bad to worse & I didn't think that was possible. She was like, "Ah din't hab a mudda to teach awladeezdingsanahbinhurandathursme..." WHA-?!? Then here comes Mean Molly Maid Mimi, trying to sound so hard. I. Hate. When. She. Tries. To. Sound. Hard. &. Hood. OMG. STOOOOOP! You're Eva's mom. Just be that, ok? I was weak when Joseline said, "Eet look lak somebudy suck her (tail) up widda strawh." HAHAHAAA! It dooooes!!! SMH! Maybe if they get back cool, K.Michelle can donate some of her butt to her frieneMi. HA! "An' yorh beefcake ees gooh. Doughn leh, Mimi!" Joseline Hernandez is HILARIOUS! I don't think it's Joseline that acts funny with Mimi when Mimi brings her daughter. I do believe it's Mimi who acts funny to Joseline because Mimi is always on the defense around Joseline. I think Mimi doesn't speak, which is her right, & is condescending b/c that's how she is on the show. She's jealous & that's real. But I was glad they could KINDA talk about it yesterday...even after Joseline chucked her Red Bottom at her. Could y'all believe Mimi kept saying she was going to beat Joseline's tail...AGAIN?!? When did that happen?!? I musta missed that episode! Mimi, you are not hard except for on tough stains. Your voice is shaky when you yell & you do not sound confident. Leave the hood wars to K.Michelle, okay, boo?!? Well, that was longer than I thought it would be. Maybe it was even longer than Kirk & Rasheeda's breakup. (Rolling my eyes & tooting my lip...) Like Sneaky J's shenanigans, there's still more to come! Tune in next week for the Reunion Run-diz-ny-eeeee Part 2!

LOOK OUT (for shady bizness deals & closet dwellers) & HIP HOP RUNDIZZY

Sooo....Y'all know how I like to do...Small fries first...Scrappy...Wow. You really were sooo irrelevant on this episode. They could've kept that 'fill the space' clip with yo' mama. She's right, you're always gonna be a 'mama's boy'...the Prince of that castle...which is a 2 bedroom apartment. SMH! I threw up in my mouth a few times & almost stabbed myself in the eyes & ears with a hot screwdriver when Mama D was flirting with the Dog Whisperer. I think he did too. He was trying to be polite...I think....I hope....Or is Scrappy finsta have a Step Fiz-ny-ee younger than him! LOL! That really has got to be embarrassing for the young Scrappy...Anyhoo...DJ Crazy...I mean Traci tried to be funny when she invited Shay to that fashion show Erica was in. Shay was so uncomfortable as she should've been. Liked the way Erica conducted herself cuz it could've got real ugly real quick if she let her emotions lead her but she was a lady. I liked that. Ummm...K.Michelle & Mimi...Really...Mimi...YOU ARE NOT HARD! Hate when she acts like that. It's like watching Halle Berry play a hood role. It's just not believable. She got smacked tough with them flowers tho...LOL!!! That must've been the Pimp Smack Bouquet! HAAAA!! Then Mimi just stood there...Even the most nonviolent of folks would've had some sorta reaction besides, "See? Cuz that's what you resort to cuz you're a whack 'B'!" I can see why Mimi called her that, tho...Cuz she just WHACKED her wit dem flowers. LOL! Mimi was Pitiful Wasted too. LOL! Slurring her words...One eye closed. She looked AND sounded PITIFUL! K.Michelle has a bad way of doing it, but I do think she knows what she's talking about with Kujo...or whatever his name is & she's just trying to let Mimi know. It's all in the delivery, K. If you want someone to receive the message you're giving, then you have to deliver with less attitude. She delivered them flowers tho...Straight to Mimi's sharply chiseled facial structure. Moving right along, Joseline is HI-LARIOUS! She was like "Ah wih keek you rie in your braces!" She will too. CheMack was holding her own tho til she made that tic-tac-toe comment, then Joseline ticked & tagged dat jawline! I don't know why CheMack kept talking! You could tell off rip with her pig tails, bedazzled bra & matching hat that Joseline was not feeling it. Shut your trap, Braces Face! BTW, Joseline, sweetie, it's Brace Face in English, dear...Sneaky J acting like he was trying to be on the up & up...Please, dude...Honest, you are NOT! Speaking of honest...I HONESTly cannot STAND Kirk. Kirk the JERK! I mean really... I think the cameras are saving his life...cuz if I was Rasheeda, I would've put him out of his misery! I hope Rasheeda packed her bags (shout out to K.Michelle;) because he is a TRIP! Who says stuff like that to his WIFE? 'I think you did this to spite me.' WHA-?!? 'I pulled out...' HUNH?!? How EIGHTH GRADE is that, you DUMMY!!! If you got as many kids as you're claiming then you should KNOW that mess don't work! 'Have an abortion.' Y'all are MARRIED, you creep!! You didn't knock up a jump off! You got your WIFE pregnant!!!! MAAAAAAN!! I caught a BAD case of AHWOOSHANOOKAWOOD's watching that mess last nite...I almost slapped MY hubby off GP! Then there's DJ Shady! You ain't get bamboozled &/or hoodwinked by no partner! You ain't got no partner, maaaan!<---In my Martin voice. He took that money & probably paid off some sort of debt or something! He ain't even look mad! He looked like, "Is she buying it?" SMH! She did. Hook, line & sinker...Just like she bought that mess about the store. DJ Traci was mad at him for not having a contract but she should be kinda of mad at herself for not asking to see it herself...but nooooo...she was too consumed with the fear & insecurity of a hoodrat infestation that she didn't ask the important questions. Who just hands over $25,000 without seeing some legal documentation of some sort??? ESPECIALLY to a baby daddy that you can't even trust with your child? HIS child??? Females & their feelings, man...Can't see the forest for the trees! Welp, that's all for this rundown! Like DJ Traci's money, I'm GONE! HOLLA!!

Love (lost) & Hip Hop (but not diss records cuz I'm a Boss Chick & I don't do that!):

I missed y'all last week, but I had to get up on it this week!! First things first...Ok. K.Michelle...hearing about your 'hot pocket' every week AIN'T HOT! Quit trying to make a story where there is none. No pun intended. If Jack Daniel's makes it work, then it works... Maybe you should just stop trying to give it away all willie nillie. Don't nobody want no 'hot pocket' that's been bitten out of by a bunch of random folks anyhow! Ask Jennifer from the Bad Girls Club! LOL!!! Erica & Scrappy broke up. SURPRISE! SURPRISE! Moving right along...---> I always forget about the fatal attraction that is DJ Crazy Girl & her baby daddy drama. "I didn't choose this life! You chose it for me!" with the OOGLY cry face...Yeah, her...He has moved on, honey. He does NOT owe you anything but to take care of y'all's son. He CAN have chicks...as many as he wants! I don't think he should have them around the boy but... When people breakup...they move on...At least, the sane ones do. He lied to you..Ok...What can you do about that now? Oh yeah...that's right...Give him $20, 000+ to invest in a sneaker shop cuz that's what most wounded baby mamas do. (Rolled my eyes so hard just now, I think I pulled my retina.) You're doing this to yourself, baby girl! Anyhoo...um, Mimi with the Comeback Kid. That hat he was wearing in the first scene...Yeah, the homeless guy on 53rd & Main called & told him to KEEP IT! HA!! Mimi done went & got her a Stevie S....Stevie the Sequel. He even tries too hard to exude swag like Stevie...Lickin' his lips n' TRYING to spit smooth game. Be thee aware, Mimi...If it walks like a Stevie & talks like a Stevie, it probably is a Stevie Wannabe. Then again, I think that's just how Mimi wants it. *Shrugs*...Really, Joseline...You gon' try n' fight that 'Ol' Lady'?? I believe Karlie! Benzino was lying up a storm with his no neck havin' self. Y'all see her hit him in the face with those earphones? If he had a neck, she would have hit him in the throat. He was stuttering & couldn't even look her in the eyes...Then again I think one of his eyes is lazy so maybe it was just taking a nap. Then him lookin' all special playing basketball with Rasheeda's boo thang...NOTHING BUT NECK...or not. Teehee... Anywaysss...Joseline really thinks she has arrived how she was dissing that new bucktooth chick...Che Mack? Wait...she's not bucktooth no more...SHE'S GOT BRACES & LOST 10 LBS!!! Who does that?!? She not only sounded thirsty, she sounded famished...like it would take only 30 cents a day to feed her or something! SHEESH! Joseline was like, "Calm down! I don't talk to dee hep." HAHAHAAA!! She was acting like a straight up crackhead on Red Bull popsicles tho...Talking all fast & LOUD..."Is this the Puerto Rican Princess? 'xcuse me?!? 'xcuse me?!? Can I meet you?!?"

Wow. She needed a shot of Ritalin or an open-hand smack to the face or something. Stevie Jerk's gonna hit it tho...Soooo...Poor Rasheeda & Kirk...They're goin' thru...& now she's preggors...SMH! Ain't she like 45? They got grandchillun's n' thangs!! I think this was done purposefully so she could be relevant on the show...Cuz she def wasn't before. She was like I ain't makin' no diss record, cuz K.Michelle too quick a wit for me...But I WILL get pregnant since I know her hoo-ha is on the fritz! LOLOLOLOL!!!! Just kiddiiiing! I wish the best for their family. By the way, Rasheeda, 'agreeance' is NOT a word! SMH! Welp...like Kirk's 4 earrings were on last night's episode, I'm OUT! HOLLAAAAA!!!

Love (LOST) & Flip Flop Rundiz-ny-eeee!

Y'all know how I do...The most irrelevant first. Really Karlie??? You still tryna do the thug-thizzle when you're like 58??? Please stop...Then your cheerleader is Rasheeda? Are you serious? The 'rundown Chillee from TLC' ? What K.Michelle say? "She needs to stick to the rivers and the lakes that she's used to!" LOL!! I am still weak off that! HA!! Karlie, you need to stop chasing waterfalls too, granny, 'fore you go n' break a hip or somethin'...mmkay! Speaking of Rasheeda...All that mess K.Michelle was throwing at you...BEFORE the candle, I mean...& when she said your husband had 3 earrings, THAT'S what made you leap, frog?? You know K.Michelle been abused, she ain't for awladat walkin' up on a soostah...She be havin' flashbacks n' thangs! You found out though when she waxed that tail...Literally. LOL! Then your hubby comeback is, "I got FOUR earrings! Learn how to count!" Oooooh....Good one, Captain Kirk, cuz the MORE earrings you have the LESS gay you are! SMH! And I ain't sayin' he's gay, I'm just sayin' his comeback was drenched in WEAK SAUCE! Anyhoo, Benzino...Are you really spreading lies?? If only you could stretch that neck like you stretch the truth, my man...SMH! I think Joseline deed a lah owf dangs buh Benzino wuss naw one owf deem, okay! She deed nah haf none owf hees beefcake!  HAAAA!!! Mimi...every time she talks, all I hear is, "I'm an idiot! I'm an idiot!" Her mouth says one thing but her eyes tell a-whole-nother pansy-filled story! That rat-face joker put a spell on her or something. Joseline too...but I liked that Joseline ain't afraid to poke him in the cheek & withhold his 30%. LOL! These women....SMH!!! Then there's the special case that is Mama D. Even Scrappy was lookin' like, "I think my moms is really criz-ny-ee wit awl dis kingdom talk!" She is, boo!  But the person who needed to pump their brakes this time was Erica! And she better be glad she did while exiting the garage in her lil red Mercedes, almost running over Mama D & her good striped skinny pants!! LOL! Really tho, Erica was over the top...I mean I know they edit some stuff but, it really looked like she went from 0-60 in 2 seconds flat & she was being extremely disrespectful. I understand Mama D had been disrespectful prior to this little dinner meeting, but they were supposed to be trying to resolve the issues & Erica came off combative from the start. Mama D did need to take a seat too tho with that trying to run back up in the house with her good hip...slow as ever, with that combo hop & limp...Please remember, Queen D, that you are OLD. You're never gonna be faster than a Hoveround with a flat, let alone SECURITY! Y'all see how fast Scrappy called off the engagement tho?!? Dude saw the door to the castle open & he was ready to gallop thru it, OK! His stuff was already packed in anticipation of a blow-up at Dinner With the Rats! "Bettah bring that ring back." In one fail swoop that engagement was broken like Humpty-Dumpty after his fall! & all the Queen's horses & all the Queen's men... & GUARDS! GUARDS! OFF WITH HER HEAD! WHA-?!?! The Prince is back in the kingdom & on his throne, y'all! HAHAHAHAA!!! But for real...I can't help but to think about all that food that was wasted...& that cup of drink that Scrappy knocked over. You really showed that cup, Scrappy! You put dem paws on 'im! BWAHAHAHAAA!! Well, let me make like Erica with that $20,0000+ ring & GET GONE!! HOLLA!!! 

RHOA Finale Rundooooown: You Can't Disguise Crazy!

Mmkay...Let's get straight to the biz! After that lil therapy session with the therapist, even Stevie Wonder could see Kordell & Porsha's breakup coming! They was not on the same page at all...Matter of fact, was they even reading the same book???? I really am glad that Porsha realized that Kuckoo Kenya was trying to play her. I mean, I think she knew from the jump to a certain extent, but then bought in to Kenya's LAME explanation of why she wanted her to come to her party as Bap's, but then after going thru the costumes her friends, TRUE friends, really opened her eyes as to what vengeful Kenya was trying to do. Trying to make her look like the dumbbell hoodrat she's always thought her to be. I just love when the bully gets the script flipped on them by the bullied! Then she was Foxy Brown. Tsk! Lookin' more like Freddie Brown with her manly self. She is truly not really a resident of planet Earth! You are really going to have a tantrum & have her kicked out of the party over her costume. She still played along, she just wasn't going to be your pawn is all. Then that dude, the one that was dressed like Shames Girl Jones in Coming Out of the Closet, that was trying to get all turned up with Kordell...Maaan...That woulda been a good cat fight...A cowardly lion and a catty hammerhead shark! I will admit I cracked up when Kenya said what she said about him when he jumped in their argument. He shoulda bucked up to those body guards if he was really bad. He ain't want no real fight though. He ain't about that life! LOL! Anyhoo, did any of y'all think it was strange that NeNe was the only one that could bring Kenya in? NeNe must be a Cuckoo Whisperer. I don't know. But you gotta love NeNe with her equal opportunity type honesty. She ran them costumes D-O-W-N, DOWN, honey & ain't told nothin' but the truth! Cynthier looked like... Cynthier with a fur. Peter still looked like a California Raisin in a faux fur....LOL! Kandi's Tina Turner was a hot SMOKING mess...If Tina looked like that, I could see why Ike would put them paws on her...She looked threatening like a stray, wild Thundercat. Todd is a loser almost like Ike for not participating. I cain't stand a lame party pooper! Just wear the wig, Ike! What's pride gotta do with it? What's pride but a bowl wig in motion??? Teehee...Phaedra looked like the mythical character, the Donkat...Half donkey half cat...BUTT<--pun intended--> NeNe was right on when she said she looked the best she has looked all season. & NeNe for who she was supposed to be was certainly fierce, honey! Two snaps in a Z formation, chile! I don't know about y'all but if I had a remote for life, I would be fast forwarding to the reunion right about yesterday! It looks like it's gonna be on & fan poppin' with all them exchanges between Kenya & Apollo! Yikes! Okaaaay!!! Well, until the reunion, like Kenya's mind...I'm OFF!!! Holla!!!

RHO Astronomical High-Budget Low-Class PHitness Videos Rundown:

Love is in the air for Kandi & her boo, Todd...And the pen is on the paper for the pre-nup! Kandi ain't playin' with her money! Shoooot! First comes BUSINESS, NEXT comes love, THEN comes marriage, THEN comes somebody else their baby to carry! <---I thought that was a lil over the top but whatev...I guess that's how rich people do it these days. SMH. She shouldn't have mentioned her mama ever coming to stay with her though...That is a deal-breaker with some men. Don't nobody want their mother-in-law within walking distance of their house. I mean, as much as I love my MIL, I'm cool on that. Distance makes the heart grow fonder...or something like that...Anyhoo... The whole NeNe & Greg thing STILL grosses me out. I guess when you love somebody, it don't matter how old & cornball they are. If NeNe refers to Greg's geriatric gestures as swag one more time...UUUGH!!! I just about throw-up in my mouth every time he makes an attempt at sexy....But NeNe likes it so that's all that matters, I guess. Poor Poor-sha...I feel sorry for her. Can't wait to see her pompous hubby in counseling with her next week. He bet' not act a butt up in there! What a great segway into the most entertaining portion of the show.---> Speaking of butts---> for reals, Phaedra? Just when folks were rooting for you, you go n' do that high-budget, low-class workout video??? Who cares if it's filmed in a grandiocious mansion when you're doing hood moves? & wearing that painted on lime green unflattering but FATtering outfit? & that's F-A-T, not PHAT! LOL! It was too much & not enough all at the same time! Then she was about to pass out halfway through! LOL!! I ain't gonna lie...I woulda passed out tryna get into that outfit! HAAA! Even the name of her video is stupid...PHINE? For reals? What is that? Pretty, Hot & I (ain't got) No Energy? Kenya showed you up on this one, Phaedra, girl. If I was serious about getting in shape, the video I would go with would definitely be Kenya's Booty Boot Camp. She might be a lil unfit mentally but physically, she's a boss! If I want to burn a few calories laughing, I'll get Phine cuz that mess looks Phunny. I'm glad Cynthier kept it real with Kenya on that Walter thing. Hopefully something that she said sticks. I hope they keep it real with Phaedra too & tell her that lime green mess didn't make her look PHINE it made her look PHUNKY...like she would smell like fried green tomatoes & sauteed onions! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Ok. Like Phaedra should be with workout videos, I'm DONE! HOLLAAAA!

Submission: What's wrong with it?

I am NOT an independent woman. I HAVE been and CAN be, but I am married now. I depend on my husband to provide for, to protect, to confide in, and to comfort me and my children among a host of other things. I DO consider and value my husband's opinion with the choices I make. He DOES have a say-so in where I go and who I go with, not because he is controlling, but because his feelings matter to me. In turn, he considers and values my opinion and feelings as well. We haven't always been here and we have a ways to go before we can officially announce that we've 'arrived', but the important thing is we're traveling side by side, supporting one another throughout the journey. We are blessed and IN love. ♥

THIS GOES OUT TO ALL MY BABIES' MAMAS

Looove Message: I have been a Baby Mama. I was bitter, angry...I felt that it was unfair that I had to be the one to 'do it all by myself'...after all, I didn't make these babies by myself, right? That's true & I was entitled to feel this way, I thought...Life was really hard for me when I had that mentality because I thought, I have to right this wrong...I have to MAKE him pay! I have to MAKE him responsible! Well...How many of y'all know that didn't work? How many of y'all know that all I did was cause stress on not only myself but the children? So many talk about the 'promises' made pre-sex & pre-baby & PRE-MARRIAGE...How many of y'all know that the promises made PRE-MARRIAGE are NULL & VOID if the marriage never occurs? Shoot, sometimes they're null & void if the marriage does occur, truth be told. Anyhoo, I digress. The true point to this message is GET OVER YOURSELVES! If, in fact, you are the only parent raising your kid(s) then you need to be thee BEST parent you can be. And you can't be THAT parent if you're running around playing the detective, saboteur, manipulator, vindictive parent! I had to learn that I can't MAKE my child's father do ANYTHING he didn't want to or just flat out wasn't going to do. I had to come to grips with & TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for MY role in my child being in a broken home. I vowed to be a good, educated, productive mother, being that I was the PRIMARY PARENT in my kids' lives! I couldn't wait around for dude to 'get it right'. I had to create a stable environment for my kids! I had to make sure they felt safe & secure! I had to be STRONG for them! And my children are pretty good kids. They have no real behavioral problems except for a little attitude & smart lip once in a while. But for the grace of God go I! HE kept me & mine! Regardless of what sin I was in, I kept my children in church. I learned early on that wasn't nothing cute about cursing out my 'baby daddy' in front of my kids. I learned early on that talking bad about him wasn't doing ANYTHING for my situation except for possibly doing more damage (to my children) than good. GET A GRIP! No you SHOULDN'T have to go it alone, but a lot of things SHOULDN'T have happened, including but not limited to, having sex out of wedlock. That baby SHOULDN'T suffer because his/her parents are BOTH too immature to see that HE/SHE is what truly matters. Instead of trying to change the other parent, concentrate on yourself. Make sure YOU'RE the best parent YOU can be. It may not be the picture perfect life you dreamed, but let go & let God be the Artist & He will most certainly place the strokes of paint where they should be. ♥

Real (Speshul) Housewives Of Atlanta Rundizzle:

Mmkay...Small fries first...Phaedra- Be really trying to put on that poker face. Like Kandi said, she was bothered by Kenya's lil stunt...but she shouldn't be. Kenya was the one that looked like an idiot in a net so...(crickets)...Yeah....sooo...moving right along. NeNe (crickets)...Oh wait there was that part where she was telling Greg to where to kiss her...PINEAPPLES! Ummm...Kandi- It's great that you're in love. We get it. Sheesh. Gospel though? One gospel song on a record..ok...that's cool. Please don't do a whole gospel record unless you're gonna live a whole gospel life though. I know sinners got souls too & all that jazz, but it's hard for me to receive law advice from a felon. If they know the law, why don't they live by it? Feel me? If you don't feel me, you're free to SCROLL ON! LOL! Anyhoo...um...Kenya...I'ma leave her alone this week...She had some real stuff going on. Glad she's cancer free...but something tells me this is not gonna make her drama free. I'm hoping for the best, but Kenya's track record is...well...y'all know. Walter freed himself of her though. I liked that he was respectful in talking about it. Now....It's time for me to address my issue with the show this week. That Corny Cordell. Is he serious? First of all, SHUT UP & let your wife CONFIDE in you! Quit cutting her off to put yo' ol' two cents in. Catty Cordell just "YOU NEED TO CHECK THAT! YOU HEAR ME? YOU NEED TO CHECK THAT!" Check deez, Cordell. How you gon' be just as catty as the females? "CHECK THAT!" I woosh my hubby would go all 'girlfriend' on me like that. HE would def be CHECKING in one of his MAN cards! He gets one more name...Controlling Cordell. I mean it ain't your place to be checkin' your wife's friends! You TOLD her to do it...LET HER! Tal'm'bout "Y'all is gettin' on my NEEERVES! Why y'all can't ack right?" Some may say he's Concerned Cordell, but he needs to get him some man business. And I heard Peter ain't too pleased with Check Instigating Cordell neither. Word is Peter tweeted, "Did this HAMMERHEAD (so & such) just told his wife to check my wife?" And just by reading it, I can tell it was Peter tweeting it. Look at the messed up grammar. LOL! Yeah...so there's some beef to come between Hammerhead & Uncle Ben. I am weak at Hammerhead, cuz I been wondering what he looked like & FO' SHO this dude looks like a Hammerhead Shark! And Porsha is about as smart as one..."You're not guilty until proven...guilty." Really? I bet she's ditzy all year long too...the whole 265 days! LOL!! SMH! Ok...Like Peter & Cordell's friendship, I'm FINITO (that's DONE ;)! HOLLA!!!

 

RHOA RUNDOWN: What was up with that Apolling kiss from Apollo?

All those sick of hearing about Koo-Koo Kenya & that man that's NOT hers?!? Raise your hands! Sheesh! The gig is up, chile! He don't want you cause you are cer-tee-fiable, girl! He ain't tryna be the blurred body in the bed on Snapped! He better leave her completely alone cause she will have that man fighting D.V. charges if he breathes too hostilely in her direction. Y'all saw that scene...Dude was talking all regular & she was like "Stop yelling at me!"...Then all that talk about being beat up & 'when a man gets aggressive'...I just hope ol' Walter knows...THERE'S A THIN LIIIIIINE BETWEEN LOVE & CAH-RAZYYYY! RUN, WALTER, RUUUUN! NeNe looked great for her Ebony photo shoot! I would loooove to get that dress so I could look like a million bucks...Literally. I like Porsha...but...Her dude is too much in her business for me. I mean...it'd be one thing if this was a business deal & she was being taken advantage of or something...But this is just a silly cat fight between chicks that don't even know each other for real. Why does he have so much to say? & who'd he get all stabbed up by? Did y'all see all them keloided wounds? Maybe he dated Kenya & that's why he's so adamant about Porsha given her the what-for...I dunno... Yeah...soooo...Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater....tsk, tsk, tsk... Now you KNOW good n' darn well that ain't the strip club you normally patronize! I believe he's been there before, but tain't his regular joint. He took Cynthia to see them Walmartians to throw her off his lil slimy tail! Ol' sneaky silverback! Half them woman was as old as Cynthia or older & didn't look near as good! What is with the Parks? Is Apollo's last name Parks? Who cares? Anyhoo, why was each of them ready to go in on their relationships at the most inopportune times? I mean, Phaedra starts to spill her heart out in the middle of Kandi's awkward house blessing ceremony & Apollo starts rambling on in an 'over 45' strip club! Phaedra was so embarrassed! SMH! She coulda probably crawled into one of them granny stripper's rolls & died! HA!! All them face contortions she was doing! Apollo talkin' bout time restraints, usin' his prison vocab n' such...SMH! Least he's cute. *Shrugs* LOL! 16 months with no sunlight, rain &/or slight breeze?!? Yep...I do believe Apollo gotta dark side we ain't been privy to yet. 16 months? That's enough to make anybody be a little insane in the membrane. Then that whole sloppy kissing scene...Yick! It was a little forced & uncomfortable for me & I was watching it after the fact, in the comfort of mine own home, hundreds of miles away from the ATL...I could just imagine how it was for those who had front row seats to that Lickfest! I bet Phaedra's face was all kinda pasty after that mess! EW! Almost as pasty as I felt when that guy licked me from my chin to my hairline in that club over a decade ago...But that's another story...I digress. Ahem...I must say I was surprised that she wants to still do business with Kenya. But hey...friends close...enemies closer...I guess. I do hope Apollo is not being unfaithful & doesn't break Phaedra's heart though...She don't seem as 'hard' as she has she has made herself out to be. I think that would crush her. Well...like Apollo felt after being in solitary confinement for 16 months when he volunteered for trash detail- it's time for me to be out! HOLLA!!

 

RH(&desperateHousewiveWannabes)OA Rundooooown: Kenya Brings A Whole New Level To Crazy

Mmm...mmm...mmm... Well... Let's see...tain't really much to say. That convo between NeNe & Kandi was much needed...& a little awkward. Greg & NeNe with all that 'riding two-legged horses' talk was grossing me out...again. I will give Greg a whole dollar to never...EVER do that 'giddyup/slappin' the donkey' jig again in this life or the next. Kenya with that pageant-ology...Yeah...Def not the way you apologize, boo. Then again she did say congeniality was not her strong suit. That was ONE thing she didn't lie about...but we'll talk about what she DID lie about in a minute. She is really something else trying to read Cynthia at that little soggy supper with that book. Cynthia is really trying to be hard these days...though...I ain't really understand her lil get-up she wore to the beach. What was with the geek glasses & the winter/fall fedora with beach gear?? Come on, Cynthia...You're the model...You know better than mess like that. Anyhoo, back to Kenya. Porsha made her so mad she went back to the room & busted that huge pimple on the side of her face! I guess since she couldn't POP Porsha, she decided to POP something...Poor, huge, monstrous blemish! 'It's not a tumor!'<In my Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. HA!!! Porsha kept saying 'I didn't call you out of your name!' but you did, sweetie. I don't care how cray-cray Kenya is...you ain't gotta lie! Kenya is more than cray-cray though. Chick is downright & certifiably psychotic! You sittin' here...KNOW you & dude ain't together...KNOW he's just PRETENDING to be your man by YOUR request & you steady tryna make him propose to you FOR REAL! Gonna have fits complete with the ugly cry face, snot & e'erthang! You are coo-coo, girl! Walter better watch out & I hope he keeps all of his pets locked up! I would hate for him to find his bunny boiling on his stove 'cause Kenya is definitely a Fatal Attraction type female! Why did she feel like she had to lie to kick it in the first place? All that feigned confidence went right out the window behind these little shenanigans. Truly confident women don't have to make-up a relationship or beg a man to propose to them. It's really sad & I hope she stays on her meds & continues to seek counseling! Well...that's all I got for now...So like Kenya's sanity...I'm GONE WITH THE WIND!!!

Basketbrawl Wives (& friends & babies' muvvas) Brrrrreakdown:

Sooooo let's just start with the opener. Who do you think should leave the show? I guess everybody is over the Govan Sisters! Is it ironic their last name begins with GO? Peace out, ladies! Though, & I know this is contrary to most viewers views...I like Laura...I knoooow...I dunnooo....I respect that she seen what she was doing, acknowledged it, admitted it & sincerely apologized for it. She gained my 'like' for that. Did y'all see how Wacky Jackie, ONCE AGAIN, made it about her? "I picked me because I know that they all want me to leave..." Man, shut up, Eeyore! Everybody is not out to get you! What's out to get you was them daggone hooker boots & that Walmart bra w/underwire under that pleather trench raindress! Lookin' like Fake-trix... She was maaaaaad when they showed that clip with her daughter! Tryna act like it had been edited & Laura tricked her in some way. That girl KNEW Laura was on a TV show...She KNEW there would be cameras there & she KNEW that she was exposing her mother for who she really is! That was her AIM!! Jackie is STILL steady trying to save face! Mopey-eyed Malaysia kills me trying to act all hard like "They can do what they do! I don't care!" But you diiiiiid! You KEPT trying to hold Kumbaya sessions & mess! I mean, I know that you were just loving how the drama popped off & you had front row seats to it all, but you were FRONTING like you really wanted to keep the peace! What's the purpose? Problem with these chicks is- none of them can hear. Brooke couldn't hear Draya apologize, Bambi couldn't her Gloria's explanation of why she shouldn't speak on Jackie & Laura's relationship & Draya couldn't hear Laura's apology on tape to Jackie PRIOR to the reunion & PRIOR to that lil 'Come to Malaysia' meeting/Last Supper. This is your brain or Reality TV show fame, people. Whoever asked that question to Jackie as to why she's hanging with the 'broke down' chicks. Man, puh-lease! Jackie is the brokest-down of them all! And that question about Doug...Yeah...I think this may have been the last of the Christies' many senseless weddings. How you gonna answer the question "Is your hubby gay?" with uncertainty????? WHA-?!? Um...if you don't know that, I'd say you're in trouble, hon! & if Doug is indeed NOT gay...Wow...He's gonna be a little upset with her response because that "I don't know, I never asked him." came across the airwaves as a big, fat 'YES!' Mmmhmmm...You can tell they into some weird stuff anyway.... Shoooot....Jackie wears her dominatrix get-up on TV! Bambi still had that 'act' going on..."Shimmer that!" Shimmer what? So Draya wants you...And? She's a freak...You look-a like-a man...sooooo...It seems only natural...No shimmer to it really...*Shrugs* By the way, catch Gloria's webisodes one the what? The WEB! That's right! When Bambi was hating she shoulda been like 'But can you do this?' (See pic) HA! Isn't it ironic that Bambi was a boy deer? Just a friendly FYI if you ain't know...Welp, like lil Bambi's mama on the movie, I'm gone! HOLLA!

RH(&Wannabes)OA RUNDOWN: Cynthiarella & Peter Charmings Wedding #2 Minus The Evil In-Laws

K...This is gonna be short, sweet & to the point. Kandi & her dude...They nasty. Ew. <--In my Nicki Minaj voice--> Greg & NeNe...Double Ew. LOL! Greg mentioning that Viagra...then trying to act like he ain't need it cuz Peter rejected it. Talkin' like he 'just happened' to have some. Man...PUH-LEASE! He knows he has an ongoing prescription...with his old self! "What's holdin' you back?" "HUNH?" "What's holdin' you back?" "What's hurtin' my back?" Yeah, Grandpa, you need them & don't forget your Life Alert...Cuz with NeNe 'I Used To Do This For A Living' Leakes, you're gonna need it! Ha! Anyhoo...Um...It is ever-so apparent, now that the cat's out the bag that Walter & Kenya are definitely not an item. They are very awkward. And you can always count on NeNe "Sniff-Out-A-Rat" Leakes to be the one to call attention to some stuff like that. Kenya's reaction to the whole thing said it all. You're not gonna get nothing past NeNe "Interrogator" Leakes. She couldn't even keep her lies straight! Then the argument that ensued...NeNe "Instigator" Leakes done it again! Porsha & Kenya said they moved on! Leave it at that! You don't have to know what happened, even though you already do, Ms. NeNe "Nosey" Leakes! They're trying to bury the hatchet & here you go trying to dig it back up! Let sleeping dogs lie, NeNe, dang! Porsha wanted to pop that pimple on the side of Kenya's oily head so baaaad! LOL!! Neither one of them had witty comebacks...Kenya had one good one when she told Porsha to read a book...cuz chick is a bit dense... Other than that I was thoroughly disappointed in the lack of wit in the banter betwixt the ladies. Kenya actually made sense in her points though... Just like Porsha is upholding her grandfather's legacy, she has the right to uphold hers...as Miss Detroit/America/U.S./Bonkers or whatever. Just when I was like, "Ok, Kenya...You're making sense..." She did that drag queen turn & made that ''Gone With the Wind'' statement & I literally seen the one fly over the cuckoo's nest. Then the dramatic spinning exit...Yeah...She is definitely one crown short of a Miss Sane Pageant...I think Ms. Lawrence taught her that move...aaand he shouldn't have.  ANTYWAAAYSSS ...Ending this on a lovely note...That was soooo sweet of Peter to do that for Cynthia! It was beautiful...Even more beautiful than that extravagant first wedding they had. It was simple. Their true friends (well, SOME) were there. Peter was lookin' like a California Raisin dipped in yogurt in all that white. I loved it! It definitely felt more real & less forced than the first wedding. I'm not superstitious... but it was kinda weird & a little messed up as well as symbolic... & being that Kenya & Walter's lantern crashed & burned, that Kandi's & her boo's did too. The only two that did...Hmmm... Welp, like the successful flight of the rest of the lanterns... I'm gone! HOLLA!!!

RATCHETBALL Wives (& friends) BREAKDOWN: Finale & Reunion Part 1

WHAT IS UP?!? Like Wacky Jackie's mind, I been slippin' lately & I apologize! There's soooo much to talk about, so let me just jump right in! I don't care what nobody says, as much as she tries to put on the Penny Peacemaker act, she is Messy Malaysia! How are you gonna, at one point, be like Rodney King, 'Can we all just get along?' and the next be in Draya's room tellin' all the business, that doesn't concern y'all? They wanna blame Jackie for always playing both sides of the fence, but Malaysia is her teammate. For real...Don't let the big, toothy smile fool ya! She is just as much a shiest as Jackie & Laura. I could tell Jackie was really feeling what she was saying about her kids, but just like Laura, I ain't tear up neither. This is what shoulda came out prior to all the stupid shenanigans. Then Jackie was only hurt because her daughter told her what she told Laura about the messed up things she did to her daughters. She tried to correct it on camera when she was like, "And she said, 'You were a good mom to us!' She told me that's all she called you for to tell you I was a good mom." If she had in fact said that, why would Jackie have been so upset? I respect that Laura told Jackie her original intentions and she kept it real on the reunion too. She was evil, at the time, and was on some revenge stuff. I believed and felt for Laura more than I did for Jackie because Jackie was still trying to save face. We know, even in Laura's case 'Hurt people, hurt people.'...& Bipolar Brooke must be REALLY hurt cuz she wants to hurt people all the time! She goes from 0-60 in 2 seconds flat! I'm turned off to Brooke...Draya tried to talk to her (SOO MANY TIMES) & she was still like, "You look pathetic to me." And you look stuffed in that dress (at the dinner), is what I woulda said, but Draya wasn't trying to get her Tinkle Bell face smashed in so she tried to keep it together. Neither was Gloria! She kept talkin' AND kept right on walkin' off that bus! LOL! Bambi wasn't havin' it! She was gonna let that Compton loose all over her. The Govans & Brooke are messy as ever too! All that checkin' up on & Mean Girl tactics are ridiculous. I mean, once you found out whether or not Draya 'worked' or not, what exactly was you gonna do with that info? What would it have changed?? Watchin' the show back brought crazy tension to the reunion. It's always funny to me on the reunions, because don't these chicks know that what's done & said on the show, during the confessionals, "at the end of the day" everybody's gonna see it come the reunion?? Why attempt to be underhanded & backbiting? Wait...Y'all smell that?? Well, if y'all don't Gloria does because it's HERSELF & she was smelling herself all last night! I'M the 'REASON' for this spin-off...True...but puh-lease! If you were awladat, you woulda been sittin' right next to the host like Shaunee does. You're not, so you weren't! Jackie with that pleather raindress...Really? 'You look like you smell!" HA! Laura is fuh-larious...aaand on point. Jackie does look stinky. Loved Draya's hair, Malaysia looked beautiful, liked Laura's look, Gloria's lipstick was poppin' (though a little out of her lip line), Brooke looked really nice & elegant & she kept her pitbull persona chained up........then there was Bambi. Was her demeanor an act that she tried to match up with her outfit? I mean she had that fake bougie accent & kept saying stuff like, "I'm blonde! I'm fabulous! I have shimmer!", with that horrible weave that she kept strokin' ...Pettin' it like she was trying to keep it sleep or something...Wha-?!? She lookeded<Yes, lookedED>like Compton's version of Jessica Rabbit- Messyca Ratchet. I didn't get it. AT ALL. Anywhoo...There you have it folks...Quite the lengthy breakdown but that's what you get when they run two shows back to back like that. *Shrugs* HOLLA!

RHOA RUNDOOOOOWN: Kenya Goes Too Far...Or Not?

I know that I have been slippin' y'all & I sincerely apologize! There's been sooo much goin' on, not only in MY life, but in the lives of these wives...er...wannabe wives. Well except for Cynthier...& who? Who?? Oooh, Kim! Kim....with the bad wigs...Yeah...Well she made like the ends of her real hair & split! Sees ya on the flip side, Kimbo...You too, Celie...I mean Sweetie...You will not be missed! Just remember this show made you relevant...& your departure will surely bring you back down to your original state. Though, I must say, I feel her to a certain extent. Your family should be your main priority, but you don't have to lie to NOT kick it. Then to make that dramatic exit like somebody did something to her! Like Kandi's mama said, "If she could do what she did to her own mother, then why be surprised when she flips on you?!?"<---I know that wasn't verbatim, but it was the gist! I threw up the peace sign so tough I pulled a muscle in my wrist! Anyhoo, moving right along. Greg & Nene are still making me ill. I dunno...it's just gross to me. I mean, more power to real love & everything but when he be flirkin'...Yes, flirKin'...it makes me wanna hurl. He just seems like a dirty ol' man...All that left eye, right eye, poppin' open talk when referring to seeing Cynthier's escapees...YYYICK!!! Nene & them head wraps that she kept flippin' like it was hair. Really? And why is Peter the only dude that does the confessionals? Ok. Enough of the small talk! Let's get to the couples that were the spotlight stories! Phaedra with that...um...swimsuit? I guess she was trying to make a point...or something. I dunno...um...but that donkey caught in a net was a bit much to be wearing around other women's men. I'm just sayin'. AND they were BLACK men...Which most, if not all, are Donk-ologists in their own rights. I didn't think that was really cool. She shoulda thought more about her hair, cuz it's been a lil wack this season. Don't get me wrong I like Phaedra, but just cuz I like her don't mean I'm not gonna tell the truth. Antywaaaayz.....LAWD!! That Kenya (needs to know less is) Moore!! She is somethin' else! She shoulda been snatched up when she made her hills come alive in front of Peter like that! But then to be flirkin...Yes, flirKin...with every dude that was NOT HER dude was CRAZYYY! I know she's like 48<intended exaggeration> but she was actin' like a hot-tailed teenager! Then she wonders why she's not married yet! Just heard on the radio, y'all, that Tow Truck Tommy ain't even & was never her true boo! Das what I heard! Mmmmhmmm...So she is just as perped out as any man on that boat that tried to act like they wasn't lookin' at Phaedra's booty in that mesh! LOL! But lemme play devil's advocate for a second...Do you think that with the way Phaedra talks, along with that daring (everything OUT)fit made Kenya think that it was alright to approach her with that question?? Did the Donkologist, Ph. D.'s openness backfire? I'm just sayin' we need to watch what we put out there because the way we present ourselves might give others the assumption that we're on some stuff that we are not on. Kenya def woulda got dealt with had it been me...but I like to be fair & see everybody's view.Well, I gotta make like the previously proposed business venture between Phaedra, Apollo & Kenya (the donkey workout video) & bid farewell! HAA!! HOLLA!

Basketbrawling Wives Breakdown: Are the Bosom/Butt Buddies gonna have some beef?

Mmmkaaaay!!! Where do I start??? Massive Molar Malaysia and Big Bodyguard Bambi, I love what you're doing giving back to the community. Talkin' to those girls...Not sure what neither one of you were wearing or why but good for you nonetheless! Malaysia you ain't got no right gettin' mad at nobody but yourself for always jumpin' in some stuff that doesn't concern you! You know Jackie's wacky so why would you even believe her when she said she didn't know it was a White party? She knew! She just, once again, wanted to stand out and make the event about her! THEN, Jackie gon' be like,"Everybody was gon' be jealous!" OF. WHAT?!? Cause nobody does 'Crazy' as good as you??? She is really delusional man. Draya almost made me cry when she said, "I don't know if it's Alzheimer's or what.." HA! (She actually said All Timers, but I caught her drift & it was fuuunnnnyyyy!) Bambi...you're just like your little baby deer namesa

ke, you have no clue! I understand you mean well, but pump your brakes! You will see once they play all this back on the reunion, Jackie is TRYING to play everybody. Laura knew the gig was up so she decided to completely let the cat out of the bag. But like Laura said and because she IS petty, it's not over yet...She does need to build a bridge, get over it and leave Jackie under it like the troll she is. There's still some stuff to be hashed out...& I'm sure it will be on the reunion show! Soooo surprised and glad that Laura didn't play the 'Bad Mother' card that she had, cuz ol' Jackie sho'nuff opened the floor for her to use it! It's gonna get played and once again, poor Jackie's feelings are gonna be 'hurt'! I'm like comatose tired of Jackie talkin' about how she's always 'hurt' and how she 'cares deeply for everyone of you girls'! Bambi ain't catchin' on to that mess yet?!? Maybe it's cause she's so tall... Takes a minute for the info to get to the top of the mountain...I dunno. Ummm...Good for Gloria and Matt. Yeah. Um...Draya, you better check yourself...You know Brooke gotta history of sittin' on things, lettin' them fester, then showin' up in fightin' gear & snatchin' weaves! I understand, kinda, where Draya's comin' from as far as dude ain't have to bring her up in that convo, but she ain't have to start downplaying the magazine and Brooke's accomplishment because of HIS ignorance! Brooke will work your little tail...Please bring it in and be careful little mouth what you say! It's. About. To. Go. Down. Booty Models Go Wild...ER! LOL! Welp, lemme make like Draya at that photo shoot and get on up outta here! HOLLA!

RHOA Rundown (Just a tad late! Quit your gripin'!): Bourgeoisie is as bourgeoisie does.

 Sooooo Kim...Back to the townhouse you go, aye! We all gotta do it at some point in our lives. Swallow our pride...take that step back...But you could do it with a little more grace. NO home in  ALL of Atlanta meets YOUR standards so you moving back to a TOWNHOME?!?! COME ON!!! Surely there must be some lush, plush pad that tickles your fancy. You're not that far removed from the trailer park! I'm sure if you would've got to Kandi quicker she would've let you lease the house she's moving out of. *Shrugs* I'm not even gonna mention Not-so Sweetie. Dang! I just did! Anyhoo... Speaking of bougie folks who don't need to be, NeNe, you're not so far removed from the ghetto yourself for you to be actin' like that about subways & street hot dogs...Ok...I'm not to keen on those things myself, but we're not talking about me! I like Cynthia's down-to-Earthness! I don't know about y'all, but if I have to be subject to any more of Grampa Greg's flirkin'...Yes...FlirKin'...I'm gonna freakin' hurl like I ate one of them street dogs on a merry-go-round goin' 85 mph! I can't take it! His bottom teeth look like a rickety old wooden fence! "I wanna key to your house...to your heart!" How 'bout a key to the dentist's office and to Shady Green Acres Nursing Home, fool! Seriously! He looks like the offspring of Uncle Ben and a California Raisin! EE-YUCK!!!! How NeNe act that funny about a hot dog, yet she thinks THAT looks good? I dunnooo...I liked the interaction between Kandi & her peeps....Yeah...K...Moving right along...Phaedra is still infatuated with butts & her hubby is still dense....but he looks good...soooo....I just thought it was weird that they live together but she didn't know he had been certified. They were talking like they hadn't seen each other in months. Maybe that's just me...Well...NEW KID ON THE BLOCK!! Porsha made her entrance, didn't she? I like her! Unlike the other divas, she seems genuinely happy. A lil hyper for my taste, but sometimes it's hard to tone down Happy! But don't let the smile fool ya! She sure put ol' Kenya in her place! She was like, Miss USA moomushmay! It was how many decades ago? Get over it! I know Kenya acts the way she acts because she is hurt behind the situation with her mother. Hurt people hurt people. I get it. But be prepared for some comebacks, boo! Welcome to the group, Porsha! You seem like just the firecracker this show needs! AND she's actually married AND a REAL housewife of Atlanta!! Shut the front door! This is gonna be fun! Well, it's time for me to make like Kenya & leave the party! HOLLA!!!