The Hookup

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Basket(cases)ball & one actual WIFE Rundooooown:

Sorry so late folks, but like with Susie's mouth work, better late than never! HAAA! Anyhoo, not a lot happened this week really. I mean...Evelyn cried about her lost love Oucho Cinco again...UGH!! I've been over this story since Evelyn's six stitches got eaten up by that vein that pops out in the middle of her forehead whenever she gets upset. Listeeen <---In my Jennipha voice---> She jus' needs tah get over it...I mean, Eric almost drownt (yes, drownT) me last season when he threw that drink in my face but you don't hear me talkin' about it! Least he di'in't leave you with an Eric Lump!" LOL! Man, I miss Jennipha! (I know it's JenniphER but I like the way she says it. HA! Don't judge me.) I hope they bring her back. Ok...That's all for my honorable mention...Oh...nope...wait...
There's Shaunie. Kaaaaay...Moving right along. The new girl, Tasha! I like her...But I hope she knows that long bang & them furrowed shaped eyebrows ain't foolin' nobody. I can still tell she's cross-eyed! F'real! Can't y'all?!?! She looked like she was trying to focus ...but ...couldn't ...quite... get... them... eyes... on the right track. LOL! I like her though. Now Tami ...Tami ...Tami...You really wanna know why people associate you with negativity all the time??? Wellll...um....It could be that you're so daggum NEGATIVE! Talkin' bout, "I'on knooow....We'ah see what TMZ hasta say...I don't want to keep havin' to induct these broads into the Tami Roman School of 'This Is Who the F I Am'! "....Ok...THAT was funny. But for real, Tami! Who are you that folks have to prove themselves to you, but you don't have to prove yourself to NOBODY! You can TMZ folks 'so you can have a leg up on 'em' but can't nobody ask another chick about you! You're a tad of a bully, Ms. Roman.
Then Susie ol' "When in Tami's presence, do as the Roman do!" tail. Gonna actually ask that woman about her business like that! Put her all out on Front Street at her own dinner table....AND she just got awladat jaw work done too!! Askin' awl nem questions like nem joints can't get dislocated...AGAIN! Woooh! That chile is dumber than a room temperature beer! HAHAHA!!! Chick was heated too...She squared up...looked her straight...well...not STRAIGHT, per say...but as straight she could in the eye & said, "What do you think?" Please, Susie...for the love of your newly renovated grill, DO NOT say what you think!!! PUH-LEASE take some Hush Up A.D. (play on Pepcid A.D.= anti-diarrhea, for all my 'speshul' readers...Meep! Meep!) before you answer that completely rhetorical question! Just politely say 'Nevermind.' & stuff your mouth with some bread, girl! Welp...I guess we're gonna have to tune in next week to see if Susie goes back to her lisp or not! Like Tasha's eyes...until we meet again! HOLLA!!!!

 

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Losers, Lovers & Hip Hop Reunion RUN-DIZ-NY-EEEEEEE: Mad Molly Maid

Mmmkay...This is gonna be like Scrappy & Ericka's engagement- Short & not so sweet! Small change first. What in the midnight blue sky kinda lipstick did Ariane have on last night?!?! Since singing in the background didn't work out, is she trying her hand at a villainess of some sort? Lady Lil Lips, maybe?? LOL!! For real though... Lesbi-honest...That lipstick looked like it would make her breath stink, amongst other things. HAHAHAAA! Then there was Karlie Old. She makes me yawn on sight. What is her purpose??? On to the next nonfactor...Shay...You still here? AND you're still upset??? Please build a bridge, honey, & get over it! You WERE the side-chick. It's the 2nd season you've been on...You DO know about Ericka...You knew about her in the 1st season you were on, that's why you kept asking that season what you & Scrap was doing. I ain't gonna say he didn't lie a little...but really? You didn't know? Ok. Just like Kirk & Rasheeda's relationship- it's WHAT-EVERRR. The DJ's also make me want to go to sleep. They need to keep to spinning records cuz spinning good story lines out of nothing is not their thing. Can't believe that corny 'Popcorn' mess popped off! Every time she said it I wanted to stick MY head in a microwave! Moving right along...K. Michelle DID get into it with everybody this season, hunh? She needs to get into it with her hairdresser for that unfinished bob. Didn't it look like there was a little more to be done with it? I mean, of all the weaves she keeps, she chose that one for the reunion show? Still love her though, but f'real...Her weave was red wackness. (Say that 3 times fast. LOL!). Anyhoo, did y'all see the Queen Dee all dressed up & nothing to say? She's a queen alright...Queen of Land Irrelevance. Poor Ericka got all up in her feelings, didn't she. I felt for her. And Scrappy's outfit matched his teeth. Big & white. LOL!! Sleazy J was loving it up &, honestly, had me cracking up. Is he an idiot or a genius? Hard to tell with how stupid he has these women acting. Joseline is honest...I think...Idk cuz it was hard to tell what she was saying when she started crying. Her accent went from bad to worse & I didn't think that was possible. She was like, "Ah din't hab a mudda to teach awladeezdingsanahbinhurandathursme..." WHA-?!? Then here comes Mean Molly Maid Mimi, trying to sound so hard. I. Hate. When. She. Tries. To. Sound. Hard. &. Hood. OMG. STOOOOOP! You're Eva's mom. Just be that, ok? I was weak when Joseline said, "Eet look lak somebudy suck her (tail) up widda strawh." HAHAHAAA! It dooooes!!! SMH! Maybe if they get back cool, K.Michelle can donate some of her butt to her frieneMi. HA! "An' yorh beefcake ees gooh. Doughn leh, Mimi!" Joseline Hernandez is HILARIOUS! I don't think it's Joseline that acts funny with Mimi when Mimi brings her daughter. I do believe it's Mimi who acts funny to Joseline because Mimi is always on the defense around Joseline. I think Mimi doesn't speak, which is her right, & is condescending b/c that's how she is on the show. She's jealous & that's real. But I was glad they could KINDA talk about it yesterday...even after Joseline chucked her Red Bottom at her. Could y'all believe Mimi kept saying she was going to beat Joseline's tail...AGAIN?!? When did that happen?!? I musta missed that episode! Mimi, you are not hard except for on tough stains. Your voice is shaky when you yell & you do not sound confident. Leave the hood wars to K.Michelle, okay, boo?!? Well, that was longer than I thought it would be. Maybe it was even longer than Kirk & Rasheeda's breakup. (Rolling my eyes & tooting my lip...) Like Sneaky J's shenanigans, there's still more to come! Tune in next week for the Reunion Run-diz-ny-eeeee Part 2!