The Hookup

Friday, August 31, 2012

BRAXTON BRRREAK-DOWN!! Who's Thirsty? Gabe & Andre...That's who...Hmmm...More like PARCHED!!

  I know y'all were gettin' antsy awaiting my breakdown. I finsta keep it short but sassy...I'm gonna make it snappy, Pappy. Toni- Just cuz u gots the most ' medical conditions' don't make you no doctor! Pow! Just when w
e thought Tamar couldn't get any more extra, she does & puts the 'extra' in the freezer! Best quote of the night was by her daddy, "When you gonna take 'em out the freezer & put 'em in the oven?' Right! We needs to get the buns a-bakin'! But no pressure! I was probably more disappointed than Towanda that her date ended up being that LOSER, Andre! I mean...That's WORSE than a blind date. You already KNOW he's a complete & utter waste of skin. THEN all the gifts...dinner...Who's payin' for awla dis?!? Mmhmmmmm....Her mama sho'll got her back for those dates she sent her on! Matter fact, Towanda owes Mama Braxton a lil somethin' extra for that little mess she pulled! Shoooooooot....Is his name Andre? Who cares? Then there's GABE-AH! I cannot STAND him...BUT Trina...man...Girl, you can't keep stringing him along using him for his 'finances'! If you're done with him...BE DONE WITH HIM!! Don't invite him back into your life on the 'business' tip & then try to act all upset when jealousy & stalking tendencies rear their ugly heads! As long as he has you up under his wallet he has you under his control....Seriously FREE YOURSELF, girl! AND...once again...Where is Trina from??? Traci. Why does she sound like she's from Fargo or somewhere with elongated O's??? Did y'all notice how I just threw Traci up in there? Yeah...That's how they be doing her! She gets in where she fits in, poor chile...Anyhoo, well, I kept it short & sassy just like I promised! Holla!!


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Love(less) & Hoodbunnies REUNION Rundooooown



MAN! Y'all know I could hardly wait to talk about this buffoonery today! Wow-sersssss! Soooo much happened last night, I gots to get my thoughts together! Ok...First things first! Karlie just admit it...You're old. It's ok. Seasoned is good...maybe not for you to be trying to get a rap/singing career off the ground...but it's good for baking cookies & being a grandma. Maybe you & Rasheeda can make some hits together...Call yourselves the "G-OLD-en Girls". 30+ is really too old to just be gettin' started on being a rap artist. I know Rasheeda been started, but she ain't got no where...Y'all need to try out for the X-Factor, then y'all will have a little better chance if you make it in the 30 & over group. K.Michele went in on Karlie  (she did look like Michael Jackson in Thriller) AND Rasheeda...Talked about how Rasheeda disrespected her hubby, how their marriage wasn't gonna work...but THEN....she had the AUDACITY to talk about the bags under her eyes... & THAT'S when Rasheeda felt froggy! You can dog me &/or my marriage, but don't you DARE talk about my eye luggage!! Her priorities are all messed up! Funny how she kept calling K.Michele bipolar but she's the one that couldn't control her temper. Hah, well...I do know that K.Michele's hair looked a little bipolar...It ain't know WHAT it was doin'? I guess her hair stylist ran out of things to do with her hair after all them changes she went thru on the show. But she ain't winning no gold medals so let me leave her hair alone. LOL! Ericka looked pretty...Yeah. Soooo.... Joseline sure called Scrappy out though...."Yo man know Ah'ma womeen, Ah yoose ta dahnce fah heem aw dee time...He know!" Yeah...tuck that tail Scrappy. Stuff started gettin' real tense when they started talkin' about that scuffle between Scrappy & Sleazy J...then they brought on Mama Dee & it went from real tense to real confusing...Mama Dee talkin'boutthronesqueens&princes say whaaat? No better way to kill tension than to throw in some meaningless derailing jibber jabber from a retired pimp addicted to prescription meds. Anyhoo...A lot of the relationships seemed to change since the show during the reunion last night. Friends on the show were no longer friends on the reunion...The only relationship that seems to be intact is the infamous triangle of Joseline, Stupid J, & Mimi. Mimi tried to sit up there like everything was everything- putting on this strong front, but the real came out when Mona asked the #1 question & Mimi stutter-stepped & once again used their offspring as a ticket to ride the Stevie J Community Bus. I have to even almost respect Joseline for not only keeping it real, admitting to only wanting that diseased rat's money & 'mess', confessing her true 'love' & 'respect' for Mimi even though she was sleeping with her man...& still is, but she's also a 'Woman of God'<insert choir music overture here>. Yeah. Soooo....Um...Yeeeah....Maybe one of her identities was at some point...but um...'Joseline Hernandez, you have a leetle work tah do, boo, 'fore you cahn claim dat titow.'<in my Shenellica Bettencourt voice> HA! Well, I don't know if the side of my brain that allows me to consume this utter nonsense will have recuperated by next week or not, but I will try to minimize my ignorance intake this week so that I can indulge in the festivities that will be the Reunion Part 2 next week! Until then, I'm gonna make like Karlie's birth certificate & get lost! HAAA!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Love(less) & Hoodbunnies FINALE Rundown Stevie J with his own 'bus'!


The MALES of L&HHATL...MEN are questionable...
Love(less) & Hoodbunnies Rundown: Ok...Wow! So much to say about last night's finale episode! Where do I start? I know...let's go with the non-factors first. Rasheeda & her MANager! Mmm......that's about it. LOL! 'Cept K.Michele had me crackin' up with that impression of Rasheeda's eye baggage! LOL!!! She's perty but she do got some crazy bags! She STILL don't believe K.Michele got beat! Just because you see somebody in a relaxed environment with an audience all the time does not mean you KNOW them & how they act behind closed doors. Most people act different in relationships, especially when there's no audience! Of course dude is on his best behavior b/c of the accusations against him & his desire to make K.Michele out a liar. I wouldn't mess with Rasheeda no more if I was K.Michele. That ain't no kinda loyalty. & what's friendship without loyalty? Like Erika, let's move on! YAAAY! I'm so happy to see that she is making an actual attempt to move on & was the first to be honest with Scrappy with the 'relationship' thing. 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!' LOL! Then she's finsta holla at an Italian dude?!? A realtor?!? You go, girl! Who wants to lug a thug when you can be carried by a stud?!? I'll tell you who...Buckie aka Shae wants to. She loves Scrappy's dirty draws & his broken language, ya heard? Hurt her lil feelings...& her big hair...HA! Then it showed Scrappy bein' spoon fed by his crazy Mapa. <--That is not a misspelling. I am now convinced that Mama Dee is not his mama but his papa...I'm just sayin'...Her 'pimp/player' MENtality is a little suspect...& I really couldn't believe Erika would let her daughter be alone with them two hoods. I would be afraid of what's she's learning & NOT learning all at the same time. Speaking of learning...Benzino & his no neck havin' self learnt...yes, learnT that Loosey Goosey, Karlie a lesson fo' sho'! How she gon' get mad when he snatched that ring back & SHE was the one talkin' bout keepin' her options (legs) 'open'?!? I'm sooo glad he felt her out & THEN pulled the ring out....& let her know, "I liked it & was gon' put a ring on it! BUUUUT..." Man...he might need to put an APB out on his neck bone but his back bone is fully intact! Way to go, Bobblehead...er...Benzino! Now on to the train wreck. Yes, Joseline said,"He had ses wit mah bes' freend & I wuz dere...I washed!" WHAAAAAT in the NASTY, INFESTED world is that?!? These people better be gettin' tested for HIV/AIDS cuz they are just ASKING for some sort of virus with the mess they're doing! And Sicko J with that t-shirt on that read 'I AM GOD'...WRONG! You are God-LESS!!! I'm sure God hasn't struck him down yet because He's got something much more punishing than that in store for that serpent. Then all that bus talk...I can't. You ain't drivin' no bus, nooka! YOU AIN'T GOT NO LICENSE!!<--In my Martin voice. E'erytime we see him in a car he's on the passenger side like the scrub he is or he's slithering away from wherever he's at. That thing he had in the studio with hiiiimm...Y'all thought K.Michelle's teeth were big...CHIIIIIILD! Ol' girl look like she could bite a hole in a doughnut, honey! She has to have a TEAM of dentists for those mugs! Her teeth upstaged e'erybody in that scene! Speaking of stages & scenes, that scene at Mimi's 'client's house' was sooooo staged. How the idiot know she was there & who shows up at somebody's client's house to discuss relationship issues? Then Stupid J did it again, "You look too cute to argue." Passive-aggressive sociopath is the correct diagnosis, I do believe. I really hope Mimi is sincerely done with him. It's kinda weird that Joseline was the homewrecker, but Mimi is LITERALLY The Clean Up Woman. LOL!!! Welp, I guess that'll do us for L&HH Atl this season, but don't get too comfortable, more ratchetness is to come on September 10th with Basketball Wives LA!!! GYEAH, BOYEEEEE! HOLLA!!

Friday, August 17, 2012

BRAXTON BREAKDOWN: LONG LIVE TAMAR!!!

SHE'S BAAAAA-AAAAACK!!! Well...THEY'RE back...but Tamar is my fave so she gets a special shout out! Yes, she's over the top, but she's herself & I love that about her! She's freakin' hilarious & the show wouldn't be a show without her...That's just the TRUTH.COM! I do, however, think she needs to build a bridge & get over that whole shallow thinking of what pregnancy can do to her career & body & what-not! To be able to carry a baby is one of the greatest gifts God has blessed women with. It allows us to build a bond with our child(ren) that no other human will ever be able to have or break! JUST CARRY THE BABY, TAMAR & quit being such a diva....as if that's possible... That scene with Towanda & her INsignificant other made me want to run & dive face first on a hot, cemented sidewalk! I CANNOT STAND THAT LOSER!!! Talking about folks using folks! Ain't that the moocher calling the beggar a bum?!? FAH-LARIOUS when Tamar was like, "The baby might pick up some of his bad habits like not wanting to work." HAHAHA!! RIIIIGHT!! Soooo glad they didn't really show Gabe last night...I reached my Idiot Capacity with that one scene. So Mama's a life coach now...Hmmm...Ok...Ok...Is she a licensed counselor? Maybe she got her honorary degree b/c of what she deals with her daughters...LOL! Doc is sooo stinkin' thirsty...I don't think he heard anything she said with how loud his infatuation for her is. Maybe she shouldn't have went to him period...Not even on a business tip cuz like he said to her,"This is going to make it easier for me to stalk you." Ok...maybe he ain't use them words exactly but that's what he practically said. Anyhoo, poor Traci don't wannabe a wannabe no more...BUUUUUT...yeah...It's almost like her destiny...Traci the Wannabe...she might just need to accept that title...& Trina might wannabe gettin' that belly button looked at. An oozing, swollen navel??? That ain't hot!<In my Tamar voice. Speaking of swollen...That ego of Toni's is gettin' out of control...I mean...I understand she's serious about her career & and ol' girl shouldn't have disrespected by wanting to sing another artist's song... & I was liking her during the auditions, til she started acting all brand new after the FIRST rehearsal with the girls SHE picked! Her spoiled diva personality took over &, like Trina's shirt on that infected belly button, it rubbed me the wrong way! Hey, but if she gets rid of those ladies, she'll always have Traci...& Tamar if she needs them, I'm sure! LOL! Already loving the season & I'm so excited about Tamar & Vince's show that I could pee. Welcome back to my life, Thursday Night Television!! HOLLA!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Love(less) & Hood Bunnies Rundown: Bigger Fish to Fry

K. Michelle did a dramatic presentation for Domestic Violence Awareness using her own personal experience.


Ok. I'm gonna go with the more serious issue first. This show is all about the surface drama but K. Michelle got deep & showed that we have bigger fish to fry when it comes to our younger generation. I give big ups to K.Michelle for being so brave to stand up against Domestic Violence & against her abuser, even though she is being harassed & ridiculed behind it. I was APPALLED at Rasheeda for even hinting that this might not have happened to her friend. I mean, I understand she's friends with the assailant as well, but after that true emotion K.Michelle showed at her performance, how could you even question her?!? I would've apologized for my previous skepticism! I'm so glad K.Michelle went off on her & left her sittin' there lookin' like an plum idiot! Sure- there are psycho women out there that might make up a story like that, but -& I don't know K.Michelle personally- K.Michelle doesn't seem like the type that would do that. Her emotion during both scenes was too real. D.V. is too real...& when someone who is famous & has power does it, it's hard for the victim to get support. I support you, K.Michelle, as do your TRUE friends, I'm sure. Rasheeda is just trying to make herself relevant on this show, but she's going about it the wrong way. She shoulda just stuck to renewing her vowels w/her spineless hubby. She ran game on him for real...Tryna act like she's puttin' all that manager mess behind her & now she wants to be all lovey-dovey...Man, please. You mean you stirred the pot, all that beef surfaced & now you wanna take your spoon out?!? But ok...Whatever's clever. Who's NOT clever? Mama Dee, that's who! What is with these non-spelling rapper's mamas?!? First Mama Jones with 'Physichotic'<She KNEW that was too big a word for her limited vocabulary anyway! THEN Mama Dee...BICTH????? That word has only FIVE letters!! ONLY F-I-I-IVE!! And we KNOW that's a part of her EVERYDAY vocabulary, so WHYYYY doesn't she know how to spell it?!?! If Scrappy knew any better, he'd be embarrassed! But he don't...& it's becoming more apparent why every time they show Mama Dee. What mother in their right mind encourages their son to be a pimp, player, whatever with all these diseases & cray cray folks out here these days? Yeah...Scrappy is like a fish out of water- just a flip-floppin' mess trying to figure out what he wants- which is his cake & ice cream...Oh- & he wants to eat it too... Moving right along...Bobble-head Bipolar Benzino...He is about to blow his top & Karlie knows he his fuse is short...like his neck. This finsta be another Ike & Tina- Karlie gonna be singing, "What's love gotta do with it? What's love but a backhand in motion? What's love gotta do, gotta do with it? Who needs a nose when a nose can be broken?" LOL! Just kidding!! Benzino got anger issues though & steady trying to play counselor with all his messed up friends. Anytime you gotta go to a strip club to get clarity, YOU- YOURSELF needs to get some mental help. Sleazy J got some real sexual addiction issues. He couldn't even hold a conversation without his little serpent tongue hittin' the stage at that club. SMH! Speaking of strippers, let's move on to Joseline. How many shades of blue did Joseline have on last night? LOL!! I mean, gimminee...Did you just spin the rack & snatch off anything that remotely looked like baby blue...SHEESH! HA! Mimi is killing me with the hard-boiled act. You may be boiling but you ain't hard...You're more like soft-boiled. Dude is gon' come back, poke you with a little "I love you" & you're gonna open up & pour out your self all over him again. She shoulda took that house from the first episode & moved on! BUT Shoulda, Woulda, or Coulda ain't never got nobody nowhere, dear. Well, like Mama Dee's spelling skills, I'm goen...er...gone! ;o> HOLLA!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Love(less) & Hoodbunnies Rundown: Sneaky J & the Sneak Attacked


Deb lookin' like Henery Hawk
Henery Hawk
Love(less) & Hoodbunny Rundown: Let's start with the most boring...er...um...the LEAST drama first. Rasheeda & the hubby, (Wannabe) Captain Kirk...They're tryna make a story where there ain't one. Yes, she met with that lady that looks like a drag queen baby hawk on steroids (see attached pic)...Yes, Rasheeda thinks you messed up her career...Yes, she thinks you're holdin' her down...& Yes, you might actually have to get a 9 to 5 as an electric company meter reader or cable installer...Any more questions? Where else can this story go? Just like that NeNe Leakes wig on the O. G.'s head...I'm over it!! HA! K. Michelle...I would say that she didn't really know enough to go back & tell Ericka, really...Scrappy came to a show with an unbeweavable woman...So? That's all she saw. Now, Rasheeda DID witness some questionable stuff & she had more to tell Ericka. She should've accompanied K. Michelle on that little luncheon. I kinda feel for Ericka. She fin
ally cracked....Speaking of crack, K. Michelle's butt is HUGE-AH! Not that I was looking...but you couldn't ignore it! It like... walked into that club with the girls as its own entity! Seriously! It was like K. Michelle, her butt, MiMi & Mimi's friend. She got that Michael Jackson booty! With HAM ON IT!! HEE! HEEE! LOL! Speaking of big butts...BUT how is Benzino gon' be buyin' a ring for a chick he JUST start kickin' it with? They've only been dating for 3 days in reality show episode time...So that's what? 3 weeks in real time? She musta really put it on him, cuz his nose & wallet is WIDE open! Guess it ain't trickin' if you got it, hunh? I mean...How does he KNOW it's real love? I, myself, think it's real...INFATUATION! You neckless fool! You're helping her with her career, showering her with gifts...OF COURSE she 'LOVES' you! Make like the growth of your neck & slooow down! And did y'all catch that bipolar convo between Karlie & Joseline? It went from "We ain't collaboratin' nuttin' cuz I hate you!" to "Giiiirl, you datin' Benzino?!?" girlfriend convo in like 2 seconds flat. That was def a weird lil conversation. Now...To the biggest, most hot messiest story on the show. The lust triangle between MiMi, Silly J, & Joseline...Man...Sly J got both his women to go into counseling...TOGETHER. Dude is a pure genius...or at least he has his genius moments...Then he demolishes those moments almost simultaneously with his idiocy...I honestly thinks it's an illness...I, personally, believe that the hits should've came from MiMi when he mopped that hot tamale's nose...Even the counselor lost his cool for a minute & had to question the dummy! But when that habanero pepper blew her liiiiiid & molly-whopped ol' Stupid J in that pinched grill of his....MAAAAAN!! I couldn't help but cheer! Women around the globe have BEEN wanting to do that since premiere night! It confirmed one thing for sure tho...MiMi is truly NOT a fighter! I mean, any chick I know that is in MiMi's position woulda got some licks in on both nem mugs! Joseline's Josephine Baker leggo snap-on quik-weave would been snatched out much quicker than it was put in, honey!! Then MiMi gon' act like "Yeah...get one in for me!" Girl, you shoulda got one in for YO'SELF because OBVIOUSLY he's still messing with the girl if she got that mad over you being in the house...STUPID. I haaaate when women say, "If it wasn't for the kid, I wouldn't be here!" CHILD, PUH-LEASE!! You're still there cuz you wanna be. He is DOGGING you! He is sleeping with folks & not even thinking enough of you to strap up!! You don't want your child to grow up in a broken home?!? TOO LATE!!! Your home is SHATTERED!!! You better make tracks now while that kid is too young to understand. He can visit & still be 'sweet' Daddy...but while he is still in the household she will be able to witness his misuse & abuse of you & that can lead to her resenting not only him, but you too. Why would you want her to be subject to that MESS all the time? I'm a strong believer in 'complete' families with both parents, but there are times when it's best for the parents to not live/be together ESPECIALLY when one is a HORRIBLE example of a partner let alone a human being. Well....it's time for me to make like Sucker J after that lil tussle & exit stage left....HOLLA!!
Spoiler: I heard Scrappy proposes to Ericka...Read the story here: http://sandrarose.com/2012/08/
lil-scrappy-proposes-to-his-bab
y-moms/#.UB_0RhSiVLk.facebook Shhhh!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

God's Version of Angry Birds...Not So Fun.

N the News 2day: Boy riding a roller coaster gets hit by a bird. A young boy who was riding one of the fastest roller coasters in Six Flags New Jersey was hit by a bird. The boy said he felt a burning sensation on his neck/shoulder, looked down & seen blood & feathers. WHAT THE WAKA FLOCKA OF FEATHERY CREATURES?!? I don't know what woulda had me screamin' worse, the ride or the bird hitting me on the ride...Surely the latter! I didn't like roller coasters before this story but it def wasn't because I had a fear of getting hit by flying fowl at 55 mph!! Now...call me a bird brain, but I have a NEW reason not to get on those twisted speed demons. Imagine if that bird woulda hit beak first...It coulda still been stickin' out of the tikes neck. *Shivers* Roller coasters are officially for the birds!! #NewVersionofAngryBirds