The Hookup

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

RatchetBall Wives LA Rundoooown

Some folks just need to try harder than others to make themselves relevant...like Malaysia with that whole made up, silly, 'if my friend don't like you, neither do I' high school 'code of the streets' beef she's trying to have with Brooke. Don't look at me like that, Malaria! Oh...that's right...she can't help it. LOL! Don't she have one of them looks though, that if you were in an argument with her, you would want to smack her?!? But don't let them giant veneers & that bougie foreign country name fool ya! Don't forget Malaysia is her MIDDLE name...her gubment name is LaQuisha & she's straight outta Compton, sweetie! Don't get it twisted...like that oogly doily headband she had on yesterday! & you know you need to second guess something if Grandma Jackie likes it! HA! Still, that mess is petty! I'm liking ol' Brooke more & more as the episodes go on...Love that she checked Macedonia & her friend with,"If you're
wanting to fight over a man, you've already lost!" Check, please!! Woooh! She ain't told nothin' but the truth, bless her big eyeballs! Her peripheral vision gotsta be off the chain...lookin' like Bambi...the deer, y'all! SMH! Anyhoo...Jackie's daughter's coming back! And her loco mama ain't even have to fake her own death to manipulate her neither. Whaaaat?!? I guess it's true...There's a love for your mother that's like none other!......I think she just underestimated the cost of living alone. That's it. That's all! Let her save up some paper...She'll be gone again...Prolly further away to...like...Malaysia! HAAA!!! I want Jackie to stop tellin' folks she's a model. You WERE a model, you walkin' insane asylum! Now you're just taking pictures with Bengay rubbed all over your wrankly self! Need tah be modelin' straight jackets for Shady Groves Mental Hospital..."I'm not only a spokesperson...I'm a client too!" & the branding on her ham hock-as Draya so eloquently put it ....with the over the top hug for the tattoo artist...My face was just like Draya's...I can't! Speaking of can't....I can't take scenes like the one with Draya & Gloria. I was like Chris Brown in a room full of Women Against Domestic Violence Activists...UN-COM-FORT-ABLE! Okaaaay! Matt got Gloria so messed up that she's about to forget the ball & go straight for the basket! SMH! The foolery! Welp...Like Jackie's old jugs of curdled milk in EVERY scene, I'm OUT! HOLLA!!!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Basketball Lies Rundown

Malaysia...Ok..that's all I have to say about her. Go ahead Gloria, trying to get your acting on! K..that about wraps her up... Um, Draya....You are cute & e'erthang, but please check your diva-tude at the door! Don't start smelling yourself too much too soon cuz ain't nobody else gonna wanna get a whiff of ya! While you busy slamming doors in folks faces, you're allowing other broads to walk through those same doors. Shoooot....e'erbody gotta eat....even strippers, turned video vixen, turned reality talk show star, turned bikini line designers! Okaaaay! And is it just me or does Brooke kinda resemble Kandi from Real Housewives of Atlanta? She even has that kinda nasally voice like ol' girl...Hmmm.. Jackie is still going with the certifiable theme. Why Laura play her like that though? Telling her to get out of her sister's house, then calling her to come back so they can see her boots...Just blatantly (childishly) taunting her...Then when Laura calls to actually meet up with her, Jackie's like "I'm was so glad she called & wanted to meet with me because I didn't know
where we stood as 'girl friends'." What?!? She basically told you to kick rocks in your biker boots & you're not sure where you stood? You stood outside looking stupid, holding a conversation with a bunch of hens who don't like you, in your dang biker boots! I ain't gonna lie...I didn't understand why Laura called to meet with her after she played Geriatric Jackie like that. I understand wanting to squash the beef...but you were JUST bullying her, in a sense. That's why I think a lot of this stuff is staged or plotted out by the producers. Anyhoo- Laura look good, don't she? She must be on that Jenny Craig & that Michael Jackson (cuz her nose is different too). Hee! Heeee! Welp, that about does it...for this go 'round & rundown! Just like Brooke's eyes, it's time for me to part ways! LOL!!! HOLLA!!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

(LATE) Love(less) & Hoodbunnies REUNION PART 2 RUNDOOOOOWN

Again I apologize for my tardiness, but FB was trippin' yesterday & I had to log off 'fore I launched the PC out the window! Enough of those sorry's...In my Mimi voice, "I got sorry's greetin' me at the front door!" LOL! Anyhoo, I am so glad this season is over...kinda...cuz I am as tired as K.Michele's hairstylist of that dang-on ratchet triangle with Joseline n' nem! But Joseline is Justalyin' when she be sayin', "I'm usin' heem fuh his ses n' hees money!", cuz in the next breath she's cryin' talkin 'bout, "Nobody care fuh me like Steebie!" Just like Mimi, she's just decided to lay down & allow Stupid J to walk all over her in them Italian loafers. SMH! And he ain't even have no ride? No vehicle?? So that scene when he showed up at Mimi's client's house he had to get a ride there? Such a shame. Stupid J gets lamer & lamer by the minute. "But I gotta car now tho!" Shaddup, you rat-faced loser! Then that mess with the Old Couple...Really, Karlie? A polygamist? That was the most meaningless dig ever & she spent $15 to put it on a t-shirt...idiot. Bobblehead Ben is not a polygamist just cuz he had a naked woman in his house hours after y'all's 'non-proposal'. She obviously don't know the definition of the word just like she don't know she shouldn't make fun of somebody's teeth when it looks like she's been eatin McBrick sammiches. But ignorance is bliss...or so they say. Speaking of ignorance...Mama Dee is just about as blissful as they come! I mean, she really is living in La-La Land with all that royalty talk. Yeah, she is definitely the Queen of her own little KingDUMB! She's def crossed that line into the Land of Soft White Walls & Self-Hug Jackets when she brought out that Burger King crown & placed it on her Prince's head. Scrappy HAD to be embarrassed, man. And the thang was so huge, had it not been for his gigantic teeth, that crown woulda been around his neck. She musta sized that thing for Benzino. LOL! Well, Erica got her ring y'all! Much to the dis-my-ee of Shiz-ny-ee who had to leave the stage to criz-ny-ee! Poor girl. But she ain't leave 'fore she put Lil Scrappy on blast...Well, she put herself on blast really...cuz she was the dumb one to put HIS stuff in HER name! Females really will fall for the okie-doke over some jokie-joke, won't they? "YOU SAID U WAN'T GON' DO ME LIKE DAT!" Okaaaay....You think you was the only one he made empty promises to? He was playing you & his baby moms like Uno. Trying to make you believe you was the only one...Only you knew that he was keeping you a secret as the tape showed. Why else would you be a secret, speshul? Your secret love, will never be your true love! Don't nobody listen to Luther no more?!? Well, at least she ain't have all that hair to weigh her down as she made her dramatic exit off the stage...She just got up with her 27 piece & fled, y'all! She went from looking like the Cowardly Lion to one of the Wicked Witch's lil monkeys, didn't she? Buckeey gonna be alright though...I mean she survived being dumped by Flavor Flav, didn't she? Heeeey...Maybe Mama Dee could dance on that pole for Flavor Flav...Yeah... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit... Welp, that about does it for this season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta Rundowns! I've enjoyed & was appalled by every minute of it! Like Shay 'Buckeey' Johnson, Jiz-ny-ee has left the building!! Holla!