Basketball Wives 2014 Rundown: A Chani Caught In Headlights

Basketball Wives RUNDIZZLE!!!!!
  I ain't done one of these in a miz-inute, but I feel I

have to after last night's episode. Mmkay. British, honey triscuit, if you have to tell your man when you leave town to 'be a good boy' and you don't want have to hear none of his "stories" about how 'she got my phone & put her number in', then, my little English Muffin, you might need to re-evaluate your "relationship". I have left my husband to go on trips on many of an occasion & I ain't NEVER had to tell him "Don't cheat on me while I'm gone!" WHA-?!? I might tell him to FEED the dog, but never had to tell him not to BE the dog! Okaaay! Then she basically said "even though I don't WANT to put up with x, y & z, I will...but I don't WANT to." Type o' mess is that??? Jackie too. Perfect Doug cheat with Aggressive Asian Women???? Why EVER would you think that, with your perfect & trusting marriage??? You role-playing Halle Berry n' all?? Hmmph. (Just threw up in my mouth a lil bit. I'm sure Halle did too.) BTW- Love the friend that Malaysia is. Jackie Christie is as CORNY as she is crazy. With that dang bottle her & her Squidward lookin' hubby posed for. I know that was the week before, but had to mention that MESS. Antyways, you, ma'am, at the not-so-tender age of 67, don't know what 'golden showers' are??? Stupid. Brown Boy? SMH. I think she didn't want to put her name on it cuz she knows folks can't stand her & won't buy it. She knows. Now as for Draya and Chani. Tweren't Chani a tad surprised when Draya & her boo just rolled up on the scene. Her face was priceless! Bet she wanted to pull that thick ol' toboggan down over that quiverin' mole. "We do drop-ins too." Yaaaassss!!!! You could tell that Chani was sooo caught up. She wasn't sayin' nothin' til Orlando told Jackie she wasn't his mama. Now he's being disrespectful after she's the one that called him an ugly m'f-er? (And SHE'S married to Doug Christie. Mmhmm...) Anyhoo- Why was Jackie on ten though??? She was all the way turnt, yes, turnT up. Then Chantel taking out earrings & thangs, but NEVER got froggy...cept with Orlando for a second, when she focused on him getting mouthy with her mom who was tripping all the way out on him FIRST. (Wasn't she just hating her mom last season? Yeah...I digress..)Then she stood behind the couch. Ok. "You bes' be glad this couch is holdin' me back!" LOL! As soon as it was over, she looked like she 'felt some type of way', didn't she? She, for once, looked humbled. Sad almost. Like- from 1 to Rihanna how salty was she? LOL! But I think she really liked Orlando & what he said happened did & she knows she looked stupid. Then Jackie called Sundy. And FOR WHAT???? Really. Her & Sundy are way too old to be in mess like this. Delusional Jackie gon' say "And me & Chani sittin' over here being classy." Oh...Was that class? I musta missed that lesson in Classy 101. The "How to cuss somebody out like a sailor, while being TOO grown & wearing a skully" lesson. RME!! Silly Sundy gonna say "Orlando needs his little butt beat & Doug needs to do it." Are you serious?!? Then again, she IS friends with the most DELUSIONAL lady on this side of the heavens. I do believe YOUNG Orlando would take Doug out at his bad, aged knees & yell "Timberrrr!" while doing it. Quit playin'. Last note, I think that Draya did what she did not only to front Chantel out but to make sure her dude wasn't lying. I don't think she was just going for Chani at all. Yes, I think if you have to do that much footwork, it might not be the REALationship of a lifetime, but if this makes her feel better & more at ease, so be it. I think that Orlando does care for her or he wouldn't have done the footwork with her. Many may feel differently, but either way Draya looked awesome in that halter top jogging suit. ;) I would get one if I wouldn't look like a half pound burger in it. ;) Welp, like Chani's face, I'm gonna get lost! HOLLA!!! 

Basket(cases)ball & one actual WIFE Rundooooown:

Sorry so late folks, but like with Susie's mouth work, better late than never! HAAA! Anyhoo, not a lot happened this week really. I mean...Evelyn cried about her lost love Oucho Cinco again...UGH!! I've been over this story since Evelyn's six stitches got eaten up by that vein that pops out in the middle of her forehead whenever she gets upset. Listeeen <---In my Jennipha voice---> She jus' needs tah get over it...I mean, Eric almost drownt (yes, drownT) me last season when he threw that drink in my face but you don't hear me talkin' about it! Least he di'in't leave you with an Eric Lump!" LOL! Man, I miss Jennipha! (I know it's JenniphER but I like the way she says it. HA! Don't judge me.) I hope they bring her back. Ok...That's all for my honorable mention...Oh...nope...wait...

There's Shaunie. Kaaaaay...Moving right along. The new girl, Tasha! I like her...But I hope she knows that long bang & them furrowed shaped eyebrows ain't foolin' nobody. I can still tell she's cross-eyed! F'real! Can't y'all?!?! She looked like she was trying to focus ...but ...couldn't ...quite... get... them... eyes... on the right track. LOL! I like her though. Now Tami ...Tami ...Tami...You really wanna know why people associate you with negativity all the time??? Wellll...um....It could be that you're so daggum NEGATIVE! Talkin' bout, "I'on knooow....We'ah see what TMZ hasta say...I don't want to keep havin' to induct these broads into the Tami Roman School of 'This Is Who the F I Am'! "....Ok...THAT was funny. But for real, Tami! Who are you that folks have to prove themselves to you, but you don't have to prove yourself to NOBODY! You can TMZ folks 'so you can have a leg up on 'em' but can't nobody ask another chick about you! You're a tad of a bully, Ms. Roman.

Then Susie ol' "When in Tami's presence, do as the Roman do!" tail. Gonna actually ask that woman about her business like that! Put her all out on Front Street at her own dinner table....AND she just got awladat jaw work done too!! Askin' awl nem questions like nem joints can't get dislocated...AGAIN! Woooh! That chile is dumber than a room temperature beer! HAHAHA!!! Chick was heated too...She squared up...looked her straight...well...not STRAIGHT, per say...but as straight she could in the eye & said, "What do you think?" Please, Susie...for the love of your newly renovated grill, DO NOT say what you think!!! PUH-LEASE take some Hush Up A.D. (play on Pepcid A.D.= anti-diarrhea, for all my 'speshul' readers...Meep! Meep!) before you answer that completely rhetorical question! Just politely say 'Nevermind.' & stuff your mouth with some bread, girl! Welp...I guess we're gonna have to tune in next week to see if Susie goes back to her lisp or not! Like Tasha's eyes...until we meet again! HOLLA!!!!

 

Losers, Lovers & Hip Hop Reunion RUN-DIZ-NY-EEEEEEE: Mad Molly Maid

Mmmkay...This is gonna be like Scrappy & Ericka's engagement- Short & not so sweet! Small change first. What in the midnight blue sky kinda lipstick did Ariane have on last night?!?! Since singing in the background didn't work out, is she trying her hand at a villainess of some sort? Lady Lil Lips, maybe?? LOL!! For real though... Lesbi-honest...That lipstick looked like it would make her breath stink, amongst other things. HAHAHAAA! Then there was Karlie Old. She makes me yawn on sight. What is her purpose??? On to the next nonfactor...Shay...You still here? AND you're still upset??? Please build a bridge, honey, & get over it! You WERE the side-chick. It's the 2nd season you've been on...You DO know about Ericka...You knew about her in the 1st season you were on, that's why you kept asking that season what you & Scrap was doing. I ain't gonna say he didn't lie a little...but really? You didn't know? Ok. Just like Kirk & Rasheeda's relationship- it's WHAT-EVERRR. The DJ's also make me want to go to sleep. They need to keep to spinning records cuz spinning good story lines out of nothing is not their thing. Can't believe that corny 'Popcorn' mess popped off! Every time she said it I wanted to stick MY head in a microwave! Moving right along...K. Michelle DID get into it with everybody this season, hunh? She needs to get into it with her hairdresser for that unfinished bob. Didn't it look like there was a little more to be done with it? I mean, of all the weaves she keeps, she chose that one for the reunion show? Still love her though, but f'real...Her weave was red wackness. (Say that 3 times fast. LOL!). Anyhoo, did y'all see the Queen Dee all dressed up & nothing to say? She's a queen alright...Queen of Land Irrelevance. Poor Ericka got all up in her feelings, didn't she. I felt for her. And Scrappy's outfit matched his teeth. Big & white. LOL!! Sleazy J was loving it up &, honestly, had me cracking up. Is he an idiot or a genius? Hard to tell with how stupid he has these women acting. Joseline is honest...I think...Idk cuz it was hard to tell what she was saying when she started crying. Her accent went from bad to worse & I didn't think that was possible. She was like, "Ah din't hab a mudda to teach awladeezdingsanahbinhurandathursme..." WHA-?!? Then here comes Mean Molly Maid Mimi, trying to sound so hard. I. Hate. When. She. Tries. To. Sound. Hard. &. Hood. OMG. STOOOOOP! You're Eva's mom. Just be that, ok? I was weak when Joseline said, "Eet look lak somebudy suck her (tail) up widda strawh." HAHAHAAA! It dooooes!!! SMH! Maybe if they get back cool, K.Michelle can donate some of her butt to her frieneMi. HA! "An' yorh beefcake ees gooh. Doughn leh, Mimi!" Joseline Hernandez is HILARIOUS! I don't think it's Joseline that acts funny with Mimi when Mimi brings her daughter. I do believe it's Mimi who acts funny to Joseline because Mimi is always on the defense around Joseline. I think Mimi doesn't speak, which is her right, & is condescending b/c that's how she is on the show. She's jealous & that's real. But I was glad they could KINDA talk about it yesterday...even after Joseline chucked her Red Bottom at her. Could y'all believe Mimi kept saying she was going to beat Joseline's tail...AGAIN?!? When did that happen?!? I musta missed that episode! Mimi, you are not hard except for on tough stains. Your voice is shaky when you yell & you do not sound confident. Leave the hood wars to K.Michelle, okay, boo?!? Well, that was longer than I thought it would be. Maybe it was even longer than Kirk & Rasheeda's breakup. (Rolling my eyes & tooting my lip...) Like Sneaky J's shenanigans, there's still more to come! Tune in next week for the Reunion Run-diz-ny-eeeee Part 2!

LOOK OUT (for shady bizness deals & closet dwellers) & HIP HOP RUNDIZZY

Sooo....Y'all know how I like to do...Small fries first...Scrappy...Wow. You really were sooo irrelevant on this episode. They could've kept that 'fill the space' clip with yo' mama. She's right, you're always gonna be a 'mama's boy'...the Prince of that castle...which is a 2 bedroom apartment. SMH! I threw up in my mouth a few times & almost stabbed myself in the eyes & ears with a hot screwdriver when Mama D was flirting with the Dog Whisperer. I think he did too. He was trying to be polite...I think....I hope....Or is Scrappy finsta have a Step Fiz-ny-ee younger than him! LOL! That really has got to be embarrassing for the young Scrappy...Anyhoo...DJ Crazy...I mean Traci tried to be funny when she invited Shay to that fashion show Erica was in. Shay was so uncomfortable as she should've been. Liked the way Erica conducted herself cuz it could've got real ugly real quick if she let her emotions lead her but she was a lady. I liked that. Ummm...K.Michelle & Mimi...Really...Mimi...YOU ARE NOT HARD! Hate when she acts like that. It's like watching Halle Berry play a hood role. It's just not believable. She got smacked tough with them flowers tho...LOL!!! That must've been the Pimp Smack Bouquet! HAAAA!! Then Mimi just stood there...Even the most nonviolent of folks would've had some sorta reaction besides, "See? Cuz that's what you resort to cuz you're a whack 'B'!" I can see why Mimi called her that, tho...Cuz she just WHACKED her wit dem flowers. LOL! Mimi was Pitiful Wasted too. LOL! Slurring her words...One eye closed. She looked AND sounded PITIFUL! K.Michelle has a bad way of doing it, but I do think she knows what she's talking about with Kujo...or whatever his name is & she's just trying to let Mimi know. It's all in the delivery, K. If you want someone to receive the message you're giving, then you have to deliver with less attitude. She delivered them flowers tho...Straight to Mimi's sharply chiseled facial structure. Moving right along, Joseline is HI-LARIOUS! She was like "Ah wih keek you rie in your braces!" She will too. CheMack was holding her own tho til she made that tic-tac-toe comment, then Joseline ticked & tagged dat jawline! I don't know why CheMack kept talking! You could tell off rip with her pig tails, bedazzled bra & matching hat that Joseline was not feeling it. Shut your trap, Braces Face! BTW, Joseline, sweetie, it's Brace Face in English, dear...Sneaky J acting like he was trying to be on the up & up...Please, dude...Honest, you are NOT! Speaking of honest...I HONESTly cannot STAND Kirk. Kirk the JERK! I mean really... I think the cameras are saving his life...cuz if I was Rasheeda, I would've put him out of his misery! I hope Rasheeda packed her bags (shout out to K.Michelle;) because he is a TRIP! Who says stuff like that to his WIFE? 'I think you did this to spite me.' WHA-?!? 'I pulled out...' HUNH?!? How EIGHTH GRADE is that, you DUMMY!!! If you got as many kids as you're claiming then you should KNOW that mess don't work! 'Have an abortion.' Y'all are MARRIED, you creep!! You didn't knock up a jump off! You got your WIFE pregnant!!!! MAAAAAAN!! I caught a BAD case of AHWOOSHANOOKAWOOD's watching that mess last nite...I almost slapped MY hubby off GP! Then there's DJ Shady! You ain't get bamboozled &/or hoodwinked by no partner! You ain't got no partner, maaaan!<---In my Martin voice. He took that money & probably paid off some sort of debt or something! He ain't even look mad! He looked like, "Is she buying it?" SMH! She did. Hook, line & sinker...Just like she bought that mess about the store. DJ Traci was mad at him for not having a contract but she should be kinda of mad at herself for not asking to see it herself...but nooooo...she was too consumed with the fear & insecurity of a hoodrat infestation that she didn't ask the important questions. Who just hands over $25,000 without seeing some legal documentation of some sort??? ESPECIALLY to a baby daddy that you can't even trust with your child? HIS child??? Females & their feelings, man...Can't see the forest for the trees! Welp, that's all for this rundown! Like DJ Traci's money, I'm GONE! HOLLA!!

Love (lost) & Hip Hop (but not diss records cuz I'm a Boss Chick & I don't do that!):

I missed y'all last week, but I had to get up on it this week!! First things first...Ok. K.Michelle...hearing about your 'hot pocket' every week AIN'T HOT! Quit trying to make a story where there is none. No pun intended. If Jack Daniel's makes it work, then it works... Maybe you should just stop trying to give it away all willie nillie. Don't nobody want no 'hot pocket' that's been bitten out of by a bunch of random folks anyhow! Ask Jennifer from the Bad Girls Club! LOL!!! Erica & Scrappy broke up. SURPRISE! SURPRISE! Moving right along...---> I always forget about the fatal attraction that is DJ Crazy Girl & her baby daddy drama. "I didn't choose this life! You chose it for me!" with the OOGLY cry face...Yeah, her...He has moved on, honey. He does NOT owe you anything but to take care of y'all's son. He CAN have chicks...as many as he wants! I don't think he should have them around the boy but... When people breakup...they move on...At least, the sane ones do. He lied to you..Ok...What can you do about that now? Oh yeah...that's right...Give him $20, 000+ to invest in a sneaker shop cuz that's what most wounded baby mamas do. (Rolled my eyes so hard just now, I think I pulled my retina.) You're doing this to yourself, baby girl! Anyhoo...um, Mimi with the Comeback Kid. That hat he was wearing in the first scene...Yeah, the homeless guy on 53rd & Main called & told him to KEEP IT! HA!! Mimi done went & got her a Stevie S....Stevie the Sequel. He even tries too hard to exude swag like Stevie...Lickin' his lips n' TRYING to spit smooth game. Be thee aware, Mimi...If it walks like a Stevie & talks like a Stevie, it probably is a Stevie Wannabe. Then again, I think that's just how Mimi wants it. *Shrugs*...Really, Joseline...You gon' try n' fight that 'Ol' Lady'?? I believe Karlie! Benzino was lying up a storm with his no neck havin' self. Y'all see her hit him in the face with those earphones? If he had a neck, she would have hit him in the throat. He was stuttering & couldn't even look her in the eyes...Then again I think one of his eyes is lazy so maybe it was just taking a nap. Then him lookin' all special playing basketball with Rasheeda's boo thang...NOTHING BUT NECK...or not. Teehee... Anywaysss...Joseline really thinks she has arrived how she was dissing that new bucktooth chick...Che Mack? Wait...she's not bucktooth no more...SHE'S GOT BRACES & LOST 10 LBS!!! Who does that?!? She not only sounded thirsty, she sounded famished...like it would take only 30 cents a day to feed her or something! SHEESH! Joseline was like, "Calm down! I don't talk to dee hep." HAHAHAAA!! She was acting like a straight up crackhead on Red Bull popsicles tho...Talking all fast & LOUD..."Is this the Puerto Rican Princess? 'xcuse me?!? 'xcuse me?!? Can I meet you?!?"

Wow. She needed a shot of Ritalin or an open-hand smack to the face or something. Stevie Jerk's gonna hit it tho...Soooo...Poor Rasheeda & Kirk...They're goin' thru...& now she's preggors...SMH! Ain't she like 45? They got grandchillun's n' thangs!! I think this was done purposefully so she could be relevant on the show...Cuz she def wasn't before. She was like I ain't makin' no diss record, cuz K.Michelle too quick a wit for me...But I WILL get pregnant since I know her hoo-ha is on the fritz! LOLOLOLOL!!!! Just kiddiiiing! I wish the best for their family. By the way, Rasheeda, 'agreeance' is NOT a word! SMH! Welp...like Kirk's 4 earrings were on last night's episode, I'm OUT! HOLLAAAAA!!!

Love (LOST) & Flip Flop Rundiz-ny-eeee!

Y'all know how I do...The most irrelevant first. Really Karlie??? You still tryna do the thug-thizzle when you're like 58??? Please stop...Then your cheerleader is Rasheeda? Are you serious? The 'rundown Chillee from TLC' ? What K.Michelle say? "She needs to stick to the rivers and the lakes that she's used to!" LOL!! I am still weak off that! HA!! Karlie, you need to stop chasing waterfalls too, granny, 'fore you go n' break a hip or somethin'...mmkay! Speaking of Rasheeda...All that mess K.Michelle was throwing at you...BEFORE the candle, I mean...& when she said your husband had 3 earrings, THAT'S what made you leap, frog?? You know K.Michelle been abused, she ain't for awladat walkin' up on a soostah...She be havin' flashbacks n' thangs! You found out though when she waxed that tail...Literally. LOL! Then your hubby comeback is, "I got FOUR earrings! Learn how to count!" Oooooh....Good one, Captain Kirk, cuz the MORE earrings you have the LESS gay you are! SMH! And I ain't sayin' he's gay, I'm just sayin' his comeback was drenched in WEAK SAUCE! Anyhoo, Benzino...Are you really spreading lies?? If only you could stretch that neck like you stretch the truth, my man...SMH! I think Joseline deed a lah owf dangs buh Benzino wuss naw one owf deem, okay! She deed nah haf none owf hees beefcake!  HAAAA!!! Mimi...every time she talks, all I hear is, "I'm an idiot! I'm an idiot!" Her mouth says one thing but her eyes tell a-whole-nother pansy-filled story! That rat-face joker put a spell on her or something. Joseline too...but I liked that Joseline ain't afraid to poke him in the cheek & withhold his 30%. LOL! These women....SMH!!! Then there's the special case that is Mama D. Even Scrappy was lookin' like, "I think my moms is really criz-ny-ee wit awl dis kingdom talk!" She is, boo!  But the person who needed to pump their brakes this time was Erica! And she better be glad she did while exiting the garage in her lil red Mercedes, almost running over Mama D & her good striped skinny pants!! LOL! Really tho, Erica was over the top...I mean I know they edit some stuff but, it really looked like she went from 0-60 in 2 seconds flat & she was being extremely disrespectful. I understand Mama D had been disrespectful prior to this little dinner meeting, but they were supposed to be trying to resolve the issues & Erica came off combative from the start. Mama D did need to take a seat too tho with that trying to run back up in the house with her good hip...slow as ever, with that combo hop & limp...Please remember, Queen D, that you are OLD. You're never gonna be faster than a Hoveround with a flat, let alone SECURITY! Y'all see how fast Scrappy called off the engagement tho?!? Dude saw the door to the castle open & he was ready to gallop thru it, OK! His stuff was already packed in anticipation of a blow-up at Dinner With the Rats! "Bettah bring that ring back." In one fail swoop that engagement was broken like Humpty-Dumpty after his fall! & all the Queen's horses & all the Queen's men... & GUARDS! GUARDS! OFF WITH HER HEAD! WHA-?!?! The Prince is back in the kingdom & on his throne, y'all! HAHAHAHAA!!! But for real...I can't help but to think about all that food that was wasted...& that cup of drink that Scrappy knocked over. You really showed that cup, Scrappy! You put dem paws on 'im! BWAHAHAHAAA!! Well, let me make like Erica with that $20,0000+ ring & GET GONE!! HOLLA!!! 

RHOA Finale Rundooooown: You Can't Disguise Crazy!

Mmkay...Let's get straight to the biz! After that lil therapy session with the therapist, even Stevie Wonder could see Kordell & Porsha's breakup coming! They was not on the same page at all...Matter of fact, was they even reading the same book???? I really am glad that Porsha realized that Kuckoo Kenya was trying to play her. I mean, I think she knew from the jump to a certain extent, but then bought in to Kenya's LAME explanation of why she wanted her to come to her party as Bap's, but then after going thru the costumes her friends, TRUE friends, really opened her eyes as to what vengeful Kenya was trying to do. Trying to make her look like the dumbbell hoodrat she's always thought her to be. I just love when the bully gets the script flipped on them by the bullied! Then she was Foxy Brown. Tsk! Lookin' more like Freddie Brown with her manly self. She is truly not really a resident of planet Earth! You are really going to have a tantrum & have her kicked out of the party over her costume. She still played along, she just wasn't going to be your pawn is all. Then that dude, the one that was dressed like Shames Girl Jones in Coming Out of the Closet, that was trying to get all turned up with Kordell...Maaan...That woulda been a good cat fight...A cowardly lion and a catty hammerhead shark! I will admit I cracked up when Kenya said what she said about him when he jumped in their argument. He shoulda bucked up to those body guards if he was really bad. He ain't want no real fight though. He ain't about that life! LOL! Anyhoo, did any of y'all think it was strange that NeNe was the only one that could bring Kenya in? NeNe must be a Cuckoo Whisperer. I don't know. But you gotta love NeNe with her equal opportunity type honesty. She ran them costumes D-O-W-N, DOWN, honey & ain't told nothin' but the truth! Cynthier looked like... Cynthier with a fur. Peter still looked like a California Raisin in a faux fur....LOL! Kandi's Tina Turner was a hot SMOKING mess...If Tina looked like that, I could see why Ike would put them paws on her...She looked threatening like a stray, wild Thundercat. Todd is a loser almost like Ike for not participating. I cain't stand a lame party pooper! Just wear the wig, Ike! What's pride gotta do with it? What's pride but a bowl wig in motion??? Teehee...Phaedra looked like the mythical character, the Donkat...Half donkey half cat...BUTT<--pun intended--> NeNe was right on when she said she looked the best she has looked all season. & NeNe for who she was supposed to be was certainly fierce, honey! Two snaps in a Z formation, chile! I don't know about y'all but if I had a remote for life, I would be fast forwarding to the reunion right about yesterday! It looks like it's gonna be on & fan poppin' with all them exchanges between Kenya & Apollo! Yikes! Okaaaay!!! Well, until the reunion, like Kenya's mind...I'm OFF!!! Holla!!!

RHO Astronomical High-Budget Low-Class PHitness Videos Rundown:

Love is in the air for Kandi & her boo, Todd...And the pen is on the paper for the pre-nup! Kandi ain't playin' with her money! Shoooot! First comes BUSINESS, NEXT comes love, THEN comes marriage, THEN comes somebody else their baby to carry! <---I thought that was a lil over the top but whatev...I guess that's how rich people do it these days. SMH. She shouldn't have mentioned her mama ever coming to stay with her though...That is a deal-breaker with some men. Don't nobody want their mother-in-law within walking distance of their house. I mean, as much as I love my MIL, I'm cool on that. Distance makes the heart grow fonder...or something like that...Anyhoo... The whole NeNe & Greg thing STILL grosses me out. I guess when you love somebody, it don't matter how old & cornball they are. If NeNe refers to Greg's geriatric gestures as swag one more time...UUUGH!!! I just about throw-up in my mouth every time he makes an attempt at sexy....But NeNe likes it so that's all that matters, I guess. Poor Poor-sha...I feel sorry for her. Can't wait to see her pompous hubby in counseling with her next week. He bet' not act a butt up in there! What a great segway into the most entertaining portion of the show.---> Speaking of butts---> for reals, Phaedra? Just when folks were rooting for you, you go n' do that high-budget, low-class workout video??? Who cares if it's filmed in a grandiocious mansion when you're doing hood moves? & wearing that painted on lime green unflattering but FATtering outfit? & that's F-A-T, not PHAT! LOL! It was too much & not enough all at the same time! Then she was about to pass out halfway through! LOL!! I ain't gonna lie...I woulda passed out tryna get into that outfit! HAAA! Even the name of her video is stupid...PHINE? For reals? What is that? Pretty, Hot & I (ain't got) No Energy? Kenya showed you up on this one, Phaedra, girl. If I was serious about getting in shape, the video I would go with would definitely be Kenya's Booty Boot Camp. She might be a lil unfit mentally but physically, she's a boss! If I want to burn a few calories laughing, I'll get Phine cuz that mess looks Phunny. I'm glad Cynthier kept it real with Kenya on that Walter thing. Hopefully something that she said sticks. I hope they keep it real with Phaedra too & tell her that lime green mess didn't make her look PHINE it made her look PHUNKY...like she would smell like fried green tomatoes & sauteed onions! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Ok. Like Phaedra should be with workout videos, I'm DONE! HOLLAAAA!

Basketbrawl Wives (& friends & babies' muvvas) Brrrrreakdown:

Sooooo let's just start with the opener. Who do you think should leave the show? I guess everybody is over the Govan Sisters! Is it ironic their last name begins with GO? Peace out, ladies! Though, & I know this is contrary to most viewers views...I like Laura...I knoooow...I dunnooo....I respect that she seen what she was doing, acknowledged it, admitted it & sincerely apologized for it. She gained my 'like' for that. Did y'all see how Wacky Jackie, ONCE AGAIN, made it about her? "I picked me because I know that they all want me to leave..." Man, shut up, Eeyore! Everybody is not out to get you! What's out to get you was them daggone hooker boots & that Walmart bra w/underwire under that pleather trench raindress! Lookin' like Fake-trix... She was maaaaaad when they showed that clip with her daughter! Tryna act like it had been edited & Laura tricked her in some way. That girl KNEW Laura was on a TV show...She KNEW there would be cameras there & she KNEW that she was exposing her mother for who she really is! That was her AIM!! Jackie is STILL steady trying to save face! Mopey-eyed Malaysia kills me trying to act all hard like "They can do what they do! I don't care!" But you diiiiiid! You KEPT trying to hold Kumbaya sessions & mess! I mean, I know that you were just loving how the drama popped off & you had front row seats to it all, but you were FRONTING like you really wanted to keep the peace! What's the purpose? Problem with these chicks is- none of them can hear. Brooke couldn't hear Draya apologize, Bambi couldn't her Gloria's explanation of why she shouldn't speak on Jackie & Laura's relationship & Draya couldn't hear Laura's apology on tape to Jackie PRIOR to the reunion & PRIOR to that lil 'Come to Malaysia' meeting/Last Supper. This is your brain or Reality TV show fame, people. Whoever asked that question to Jackie as to why she's hanging with the 'broke down' chicks. Man, puh-lease! Jackie is the brokest-down of them all! And that question about Doug...Yeah...I think this may have been the last of the Christies' many senseless weddings. How you gonna answer the question "Is your hubby gay?" with uncertainty????? WHA-?!? Um...if you don't know that, I'd say you're in trouble, hon! & if Doug is indeed NOT gay...Wow...He's gonna be a little upset with her response because that "I don't know, I never asked him." came across the airwaves as a big, fat 'YES!' Mmmhmmm...You can tell they into some weird stuff anyway.... Shoooot....Jackie wears her dominatrix get-up on TV! Bambi still had that 'act' going on..."Shimmer that!" Shimmer what? So Draya wants you...And? She's a freak...You look-a like-a man...sooooo...It seems only natural...No shimmer to it really...*Shrugs* By the way, catch Gloria's webisodes one the what? The WEB! That's right! When Bambi was hating she shoulda been like 'But can you do this?' (See pic) HA! Isn't it ironic that Bambi was a boy deer? Just a friendly FYI if you ain't know...Welp, like lil Bambi's mama on the movie, I'm gone! HOLLA!

Basket(case) Wives Break Dizzle: Is Laura more bonkers than Jackie?

Heeeey, Gloria...Nice of you to swing by the set every once in an arrest. LOL! Y'all know she just had that speaking part last night cuz she wanted to keep the gossip mill from turnin' & churnin'! She HAD to explain why her basketball bad boy got hempt up since he couldn't tweet about it & all. Whatev! Brooke & Draya are besties now that Brooke said she would have her back if she was getting whooped in a fight! Draya ain't stupid. She knows she needs a bodyguard with her lil self. Malaysia & her teeth are being upstaged by her +1, Bambi. How you gon' bring a true nonfactor onto the show that YOU were established on & she becomes more relevant than you? SMH! Bambi ain't playin' with Laura either. She's ready to put her weave on the line for Jackie. Which is more than Jackie's own kids are willing to do for her. Jackie's daughters called her out on the same things the 'girls' have called her out on. Chick acts like

she's listening, apologizes, adores & still will not acknowledge what she did wrong. It's weird. Then she gets angry & 'hurt'! Child, puhlease! Save the tears for your pillow! HOWEVER, I think Laura might be just as, if not more, crazy than Jackie. I mean...What grown woman, who is not on a daytime soap opera, plots & schemes to that extent. You're willing to even bring her relationship with her kids into your twisted plan to bring her down AND play on your own molestation in the process. I'm with Bambi, that mess ain't cool AT ALL! That mess is between you & Jackie! Leave it there or better yet be done with Jackie & let it go! Y'all are too old for the drama y'all be puttin' yourselves in...for real. Then again, what would we watch & make a mockery of if y'all actually acted your ages? *Shrugs* And why did Laura, in that confessional scene, look like she had just fell on her cheek in a pile of glitter? What do these stylists be doing to these women? Anyhoo...I better make like Gloria & get lost! Until next week! HOLLA!!!

RHOA RUNDIGGITY DIZZOWN: Former Miss America is now Miss Stank-itude!

Well, they're back y'all! Those wives, or not, that we LOOOOVE to hate that we love! I ain't gon' lie...I'm gon' miss ol' Sheree with all her craziness & bourgeoisie-ness! She must be all consumed with the building of Chalet de Sheree...I sure hope it's more that just a plot of land by now! Moving right along...Kandi seems so happyyyyy...But then again, she always looks like that. LOL!! Same exact look when she was with her boo & when Kim & the Help were gettin' on her nerves during the tour of her house. Her. House. Two of them.That she bought outright. With cash, Kim. I just kept thinkin'...How YOU gon' hate & you're practically homeless? Kandi OWNS this home...er... these HOMES & not via the bank... & you and your knocked up tail gon' be walkin' thru it, turnin' up your nose & makin' jabs...Chile, puhlease! Maybe Kandi will let you stay in her guest house if you don't make her to mad, stupid. So y'all see that I mentioned the Help. Yes, y'all! Sweetie done made a come back, lookin' like Bobby Christina's older sister! Well, if somebody wanted to pay me to do nothing but ride around with them & kick it at their mansion & relinquish any ounce of dignity I might have...I just...might....NAAAAAAAAAH! Them days are over!!...As long as Mitt Romney don't get into office...LOL! Anyhoo, NeNe is really smellin' herself, ain't she? Talkin' bout she ain't been in none of Tyler Perry's movies cuz "We such good friendsss...." Mmhmm...Y'all such good friends that he ain't bother to call you & your tired bleach blonde doo to tell you that he changed his number...Mmmkay, girl! Speakin' of fronters & #1 stunters, that new girl Kenya...CHIIIIIIILE!! She's not snatched like Ms. Lawrence but I do believe she might get snatched UP this season, she keep on like she keepin' on! Got the nerve to be actin' like her poop don't stank & her hubby looks like an older version of Moesha's daddy! That' ain't hot! And all that make-up caked-up ain't hidin' yo' bad skin, boo, so ya really need to stop hatin' cuz you really have no room...Speaking of Pro-Active, Cynthier was ready! She done got herself a backbone this season! Standin' up to her baby daddy about the kid. I felt her on that, as a mother who is the primary caregiver of the chil'ren...don't come up in here tryin' to call full time shots when you're part time, sweets...I don't care how much better you look than my current. HA! Then she handled Kenya at that audition. I really think that something is mentally wrong with girls name Kenya...Wasn't ol' girl from Basketball Wives named Kenya? And she thought she was way more relevant than she really was too...Mmhmm..Welp! That pretty much does for this week! On behalf of the folks who love them some trashy, non-educational television, I want to say WELCOME BACK REAL (fake) HOUSEWIVES (most of you work & are not married) of ATLANTA! We missed you!! HOLLA!  

BASKET(CASE) WIVES RUNDIZZY:

Y'ALL WHAT IN THE TANGLED WEB OF WEAVE HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!? Ok, small pickles first! Wooh! Lemme get myself togethah! Ok...Gloria...Hey, girl! See you gettin' your Shaunie O'neal on, just makin' cameos n' thangs! Okaaay! U is important! Um...Bambi...You know you're hood if "Meet me at the park." immediately translates to "Let's fight!" in your brain. These folks on these shows ALWAYS meet in parks & thangs...SHEESH! Laura finally met her match though. I like the way Bambi is 

callin' her out & holdin' her accountable, HOWEVER, Bambi IS new, like Laura said, she's Malaysia +1, so she don't know Jackie.... yet. She will find out soon enough...it's inevitable. But you can tell Laura's intimidated by Bambi & that's funny...Maybe Laura needs to get her weight back up. LOL! Draya coming in that restaurant/bar dressed like Jackie had me rolliiiiing! Jackie could NEVER look that good in that get-up. She woulda looked like a busted can of biscuits in that see-thru shirt. Then Jackie....MAN! She's like a drunk auntie that embarrasses her self so bad at a get-together that EVERYBODY around is humiliated. She is soooo over the top, she's cleared the cuckoo's nest & is headed for orbit! She is quite a few pumpkins short of a pumpkin patch for reals! Brooke...oh Bah-rooke!!! She was as ready as a dog in heat, wasn't she?!? She wanted to fight SOME-BODY...ANY-BODY! Malaysia talked her way out of her butt-whoopin'...Though I think a lot of that had to do with the Great Wall of Bambi standin' behind her. Brooke ain't about that life...but she was about tryin' to rip that dollar store headband out of Jackie's hair. Why, Jackie? Why would you even try it? Then whenever Brooke got in striking distance, she wanted to act like she was tryin' to calm her down & when folks got between her she wanted to keep talkin' mess! Can't believe that they cut the fight! Word in the street is Jackie didn't want it to be shown & threatened to sue VH1 if they showed it. Don't know how true that is...but I can believe it. And the poor bar dude...He ain't know what to do, did he? He was just standing there probably thinkin', "These are really a bunch of angry Black women!" Way to represent, ladies! SMH! Jackie is messy & a mess-starter & a mess-keep-on-goin'-er. <---I just made that term up.---> It's even rollin' over into her family life as her own kids don't even like her. BTW- Is her one daughter by Shaq? HA! Lemme quit cuz that's how rumors get started. As dignified as Shaunie tries to act, if that was true, she would be the next one to have a handful of Jackie's weave. Wait til Jackie's kids see this episode with their mama parading in a public place in her girdle & panties. THAT'S the scene they shoulda cut. I thought my eyes were gonna bleed! My husband had to give me warm milk & rock me to sleep because of that mess! I'm an avid watcher of The Walking Dead & ain't NEVAH seen nothing THAT terrorizin'! Well...I'm gonna leave y'all with words from the wise K. Michelle (hope Jackie reads this ;o)..."Don't SHAKE unless you're ready to get SHOOK!" HOLLA!

Basketcase Wives Rundoooown: Jackie May Unleash the Crazy, But Not the Hubby!

If I haven't mentioned it before or enough... Malaysia's teeth are H-U-G-E! Seriously...she can bite a hole in a donut...several of 'em...AT THE SAME TIME! I can't take it! She can't even close her mouth! When they were doing that para-sailing/kite thing, I was kinda hoping she would fall on her teeth & be dragged a while to sand off some of nem joints! I'm also beginning to think she's a bit of an instigator. I mean...she tries to come off like the peacemaker, but the way she goes about things is sneaky & underhanded. First, inviting Jackie to Gloria's party & not giving anybody a heads up, & now, with asking Brooke, 'Can I bring 'somebody'?' without telling her who it is. Why didn't she just ask, 'Can I bring Bambi?' knowing that they got beef. You don't do mess like that...That'll getcha popped!<--In my Tammi from the OG BBW voice--> Bambi almost acts more scared than anything & I don't blame her...Brooke looks like

she can throw them paws from the previews of next week's show...But that's next week...Moving right along. Laura is just as funny as she is two-faced. "I do...I mean, not dissin'...but I think I got jokes." & the faces she be making...though some I don't think she can help. LOL! Bambi just wants drama. Ain't nobody sneak-dissin' you, Paranoid Patty....& Messy Malaysia, "Call her on it!" always dippin'...HUSH, Puppy! Laura's outfit was outrageous, but I think she thought Jackie was gonna go that route too being that she did go that route on just a casual night out....Why not at your Salute-To-the-Gay-Community-Over-the-Top 17th Marriage to the same man??? But once again, Jackie always does the opposite of what makes sense. She's clearly chemically imbalanced! & Doug is too or just really whipped...I'm guessing the latter. He's her puppy at her beck & call...Doggie Christie...So sad. That little exchange between her & Brooke was uncomfortable. She really should know she's not a match. Crazy don't make you a fighter, boo. Stick to 'adoring' chicks, then plotting against them...that's what you do best. Changing into high-top Nikes 'to take a drink' .... Maaaaan...puhlease! You are not hard, Jackie-Lantern! You're just CRAZY. That's it! Well...like the straight-jacket Jackie should be wearing, time for me to wrap it up! HOLLA!!

Basket(Cases) Wives Rundoo-ow-ow-ow-oooown: Bambi From Da Block

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!! So much to saaaaay! First up--> Bambi. Where in the Hoodratville did she come from?!? Oh yeah...that's right...Straight outta Compton. Maaaan, she is the Queen of Ratchet City! I know it's Breast Cancer Awareness month & e'erthang & I'm support it 100%... but who wears a pink bandana with an after-five dress to a promotional party? I mean....this is a 'dressy' event, your Ratchetness! THEN the chick just KEPT wearin' the bandana...with like...EVERYTHANG in E'ER SCENE! Is that her signature bandana or something?!? She must be the one to blame for Malaysia's recent horrendous head gear catastrophes. She did look good for her performance, though & I agree with her on that Laura/Malaysia tip with being fake with Jackie....BUT crazy knows & supports crazy & if she really likes Jackie like she says she does, then the girls need to be really watchin' their backs cuz if she's Jackie Crazy AND from Compton, she's not only gonna flip the script but she's sho' nuff gon' cut u while she's doin' it! Anyway...Yeah, Malaysia how u gon' bring the Bride of Dougie back to life, then want get tired of her so fast? That's YOUR project...her & her many personalities! You better get some more patience & stop rollin' them Garfield eyes lookin' like a human caricature! You need to get your friend! Speaking of friends, Brooke & Draya are really chummin' it up, hangin' out with the kids & thangs... Let's talk about the kids. It was good to see Draya's son...Thought he'd have better hair. LOL! I quit. But Brooke's kids are GROWN! Now... I ain't one to knock no one's hustle...unless they're a drug dealer or a contract killer...but...er...um...Her one boy is 13. He's old enough to see or have friends that see his mama on the cover & in them magazines all scantily clad. I wonder how he feels about that. Ok...Mama is makin' money- but kids, especially African-American boys, don't like to see their mamas half dressed, especially for all to see. I mean, just think...His friends and their fathers lookin' & lustin' over his mama. I don't know...I just find that kinda...Yikes. Not judgin', just sayin. Also, what kind of example is it setting for her beautiful 15 yr old daughter. Sex sells??? Don't get me wrong, Brooke looks great...I ain't hatin'...But I'm a mom of a boy and a girl, both teenagers...Making money, great body, whatever...There's no price on my kids' innocence &/or their respect...That's why I keep my tight body covered with this here skin-toned bubble wrap! HAAA! Anyhoo, moving right along. Laura is as fake as her nose....and she might be just as bona fide psychotic as Jackie. I mean...she's literally plottin' against her. What grown woman does that? "She was actin' all best friend with me, then goin' back & doggin' me, so I'm doin' the same to her. I got plans for, Jackie." Whaaaa-? I figured it out though. Laura is spiteful. I know...Don't call me a genius. But that's also why she's so quick to tell Jackie to put her foot in lil' Draya's mouth or tailbone, cuz she's still salty about lil' Draya messin' with her man in that locker room. Yep...If you ain't heard about it, Google it. She's Lifetime Movie cray-cray...Right along with Jacked-up Jackie, cryin' all up in Bambi's set like that. I think she was crying cuz she realized how stupid she looked in that Pirate of the ScaryBeings mess she was wearing. Seriously...Her dementia is really starting to show...& it's gettin' uglier... Tryin' to keep up with the younguns. SMH! Whatever happened to growing old gracefully? Somebody needs to tell her to BATHE in the Oil of Olay instead of SNIFFING it. Well...like Jackie's fashion sense, I'm DONE! HOLLA!!!

Ratchetball Wives Rundooooown: Lazarus AKA Satan?

Malaysia makes me want to go to sleep...cuz she always looks like she's finsta go to sleep. Don't she? And she's BOR-ING-ah! She bored HERSELF to sleep in that sound booth. LOL!! Anyhoo... Don't nobody want one

of nem funky 'exclusive' Basketball Girlfriends/Baby Mamas/Jump Offs/Wives <which is very rare> chains. Ok...Maybe I do think it's cute, but there will be a knock off available in your local hair store and/or AM/PM shop soon. Don't sweat it. What is up with Malaysia's head gear lately? I don't get it. First the doily head band, then yesterday she was all turbaned out lookin' like she was finsta tell Laura her future & she did... kinda when she said,"You WILL speak to your sister...or I will." Why she think she's always Sister Fix-A-Chick. Stay in your lane, MaLazy Eyes. LOL! But I do wonder what is going on between the sisters. Y'all think its because Gloria stole all the femininity from Laurence...er...a...Laura? LOL! Just kidding...That is sooo wrong...Laura looks nice...She's all dressin' up this season n' thangs....but she'll still 'fart on your face if you lay down.' Hmmm...yeah...Anyhoo...Just as I thought I was gonna like Brooke, I'm kinda gettin' leery of her now...I mean she feels like she can really 'hang' & have a good time with Dr. Jackie & Mrs. Hyde. Then again, Jackie gotta way of making folks feel like that & then....when she can't stifle it no more...OUT JUMPS THE MANIAC!! Brooke gon' learn, I'm sure. Though she shoulda known something when she went to that pool party & seen that psychotic set up with the girls' pictures on the food table. Who prints out Google pics of their party guests & puts them in bedazzled frames as party decor??? And the cards from the .99 cent (Blank Inside) section...with the over the top reaction from Jackie. Hey, cray-cray...YOU wrote the cards...Now...You & your multiple personalities pull yourselves together! Then this chick gonna be upset that the girls didn't react the way SHE wanted them to. What type of one-flew-over-the-cuckoo's-nest type mess is that? She don't wanna be certifiable all by herself. Well, don't worry, Sybil...Your many personalities are crazy right along with you! I seent (yes, seenT) fear in lil ol' Draya's eyes when Jackie said that prayer over her food. It was HI-LARIOUS when she asked,"Who was you praying to?" LOL! Jacked-up got all defensive like, "I heard about all that SatOnic stuff...Lazarus is NOT a friend of mine!" O_o SatONIC? Lazarus?!? We went from talking about Jesus to the devil to a possible drink to a biblical character who was raised from the dead? I even think she actually called him LazaRETH...but whatever...She's so loud AND wrong it's ridiculous. Really....Jackie, Mama Dee & Mama Jones need to put out an Ebonics & Ignorance Tutoring Kit for Dummies translated by Joseline. LOL!!!!! Well, like Jackie Crazy...er...Christie...I'm OFF!! Holla!!!

RatchetBall Wives LA Rundoooown

Some folks just need to try harder than others to make themselves relevant...like Malaysia with that whole made up, silly, 'if my friend don't like you, neither do I' high school 'code of the streets' beef she's trying to have with Brooke. Don't look at me like that, Malaria! Oh...that's right...she can't help it. LOL! Don't she have one of them looks though, that if you were in an argument with her, you would want to smack her?!? But don't let them giant veneers & that bougie foreign country name fool ya! Don't forget Malaysia is her MIDDLE name...her gubment name is LaQuisha & she's straight outta Compton, sweetie! Don't get it twisted...like that oogly doily headband she had on yesterday! & you know you need to second guess something if Grandma Jackie likes it! HA! Still, that mess is petty! I'm liking ol' Brooke more & more as the episodes go on...Love that she checked Macedonia & her friend with,"If you're

wanting to fight over a man, you've already lost!" Check, please!! Woooh! She ain't told nothin' but the truth, bless her big eyeballs! Her peripheral vision gotsta be off the chain...lookin' like Bambi...the deer, y'all! SMH! Anyhoo...Jackie's daughter's coming back! And her loco mama ain't even have to fake her own death to manipulate her neither. Whaaaat?!? I guess it's true...There's a love for your mother that's like none other!......I think she just underestimated the cost of living alone. That's it. That's all! Let her save up some paper...She'll be gone again...Prolly further away to...like...Malaysia! HAAA!!! I want Jackie to stop tellin' folks she's a model. You WERE a model, you walkin' insane asylum! Now you're just taking pictures with Bengay rubbed all over your wrankly self! Need tah be modelin' straight jackets for Shady Groves Mental Hospital..."I'm not only a spokesperson...I'm a client too!" & the branding on her ham hock-as Draya so eloquently put it ....with the over the top hug for the tattoo artist...My face was just like Draya's...I can't! Speaking of can't....I can't take scenes like the one with Draya & Gloria. I was like Chris Brown in a room full of Women Against Domestic Violence Activists...UN-COM-FORT-ABLE! Okaaaay! Matt got Gloria so messed up that she's about to forget the ball & go straight for the basket! SMH! The foolery! Welp...Like Jackie's old jugs of curdled milk in EVERY scene, I'm OUT! HOLLA!!!

Basketball Lies Rundown

Malaysia...Ok..that's all I have to say about her. Go ahead Gloria, trying to get your acting on! K..that about wraps her up... Um, Draya....You are cute & e'erthang, but please check your diva-tude at the door! Don't start smelling yourself too much too soon cuz ain't nobody else gonna wanna get a whiff of ya! While you busy slamming doors in folks faces, you're allowing other broads to walk through those same doors. Shoooot....e'erbody gotta eat....even strippers, turned video vixen, turned reality talk show star, turned bikini line designers! Okaaaay! And is it just me or does Brooke kinda resemble Kandi from Real Housewives of Atlanta? She even has that kinda nasally voice like ol' girl...Hmmm.. Jackie is still going with the certifiable theme. Why Laura play her like that though? Telling her to get out of her sister's house, then calling her to come back so they can see her boots...Just blatantly (childishly) taunting her...Then when Laura calls to actually meet up with her, Jackie's like "I'm was so glad she called & wanted to meet with me because I didn't know

where we stood as 'girl friends'." What?!? She basically told you to kick rocks in your biker boots & you're not sure where you stood? You stood outside looking stupid, holding a conversation with a bunch of hens who don't like you, in your dang biker boots! I ain't gonna lie...I didn't understand why Laura called to meet with her after she played Geriatric Jackie like that. I understand wanting to squash the beef...but you were JUST bullying her, in a sense. That's why I think a lot of this stuff is staged or plotted out by the producers. Anyhoo- Laura look good, don't she? She must be on that Jenny Craig & that Michael Jackson (cuz her nose is different too). Hee! Heeee! Welp, that about does it...for this go 'round & rundown! Just like Brooke's eyes, it's time for me to part ways! LOL!!! HOLLA!!

(LATE) Love(less) & Hoodbunnies REUNION PART 2 RUNDOOOOOWN

Again I apologize for my tardiness, but FB was trippin' yesterday & I had to log off 'fore I launched the PC out the window! Enough of those sorry's...In my Mimi voice, "I got sorry's greetin' me at the front door!" LOL! Anyhoo, I am so glad this season is over...kinda...cuz I am as tired as K.Michele's hairstylist of that dang-on ratchet triangle with Joseline n' nem! But Joseline is Justalyin' when she be sayin', "I'm usin' heem fuh his ses n' hees money!", cuz in the next breath she's cryin' talkin 'bout, "Nobody care fuh me like Steebie!" Just like Mimi, she's just decided to lay down & allow Stupid J to walk all over her in them Italian loafers. SMH! And he ain't even have no ride? No vehicle?? So that scene when he showed up at Mimi's client's house he had to get a ride there? Such a shame. Stupid J gets lamer & lamer by the minute. "But I gotta car now tho!" Shaddup, you rat-faced loser! Then that mess with the Old Couple...Really, Karlie? A polygamist? That was the most meaningless dig ever & she spent $15 to put it on a t-shirt...idiot. Bobblehead Ben is not a polygamist just cuz he had a naked woman in his house hours after y'all's 'non-proposal'. She obviously don't know the definition of the word just like she don't know she shouldn't make fun of somebody's teeth when it looks like she's been eatin McBrick sammiches. But ignorance is bliss...or so they say. Speaking of ignorance...Mama Dee is just about as blissful as they come! I mean, she really is living in La-La Land with all that royalty talk. Yeah, she is definitely the Queen of her own little KingDUMB! She's def crossed that line into the Land of Soft White Walls & Self-Hug Jackets when she brought out that Burger King crown & placed it on her Prince's head. Scrappy HAD to be embarrassed, man. And the thang was so huge, had it not been for his gigantic teeth, that crown woulda been around his neck. She musta sized that thing for Benzino. LOL! Well, Erica got her ring y'all! Much to the dis-my-ee of Shiz-ny-ee who had to leave the stage to criz-ny-ee! Poor girl. But she ain't leave 'fore she put Lil Scrappy on blast...Well, she put herself on blast really...cuz she was the dumb one to put HIS stuff in HER name! Females really will fall for the okie-doke over some jokie-joke, won't they? "YOU SAID U WAN'T GON' DO ME LIKE DAT!" Okaaaay....You think you was the only one he made empty promises to? He was playing you & his baby moms like Uno. Trying to make you believe you was the only one...Only you knew that he was keeping you a secret as the tape showed. Why else would you be a secret, speshul? Your secret love, will never be your true love! Don't nobody listen to Luther no more?!? Well, at least she ain't have all that hair to weigh her down as she made her dramatic exit off the stage...She just got up with her 27 piece & fled, y'all! She went from looking like the Cowardly Lion to one of the Wicked Witch's lil monkeys, didn't she? Buckeey gonna be alright though...I mean she survived being dumped by Flavor Flav, didn't she? Heeeey...Maybe Mama Dee could dance on that pole for Flavor Flav...Yeah... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit... Welp, that about does it for this season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta Rundowns! I've enjoyed & was appalled by every minute of it! Like Shay 'Buckeey' Johnson, Jiz-ny-ee has left the building!! Holla!

BRAXTON BRRREAK-DOWN!! Who's Thirsty? Gabe & Andre...That's who...Hmmm...More like PARCHED!!

  I know y'all were gettin' antsy awaiting my breakdown. I finsta keep it short but sassy...I'm gonna make it snappy, Pappy. Toni- Just cuz u gots the most ' medical conditions' don't make you no doctor! Pow! Just when w

e thought Tamar couldn't get any more extra, she does & puts the 'extra' in the freezer! Best quote of the night was by her daddy, "When you gonna take 'em out the freezer & put 'em in the oven?' Right! We needs to get the buns a-bakin'! But no pressure! I was probably more disappointed than Towanda that her date ended up being that LOSER, Andre! I mean...That's WORSE than a blind date. You already KNOW he's a complete & utter waste of skin. THEN all the gifts...dinner...Who's payin' for awla dis?!? Mmhmmmmm....Her mama sho'll got her back for those dates she sent her on! Matter fact, Towanda owes Mama Braxton a lil somethin' extra for that little mess she pulled! Shoooooooot....Is his name Andre? Who cares? Then there's GABE-AH! I cannot STAND him...BUT Trina...man...Girl, you can't keep stringing him along using him for his 'finances'! If you're done with him...BE DONE WITH HIM!! Don't invite him back into your life on the 'business' tip & then try to act all upset when jealousy & stalking tendencies rear their ugly heads! As long as he has you up under his wallet he has you under his control....Seriously FREE YOURSELF, girl! AND...once again...Where is Trina from??? Traci. Why does she sound like she's from Fargo or somewhere with elongated O's??? Did y'all notice how I just threw Traci up in there? Yeah...That's how they be doing her! She gets in where she fits in, poor chile...Anyhoo, well, I kept it short & sassy just like I promised! Holla!!

Love(less) & Hoodbunnies REUNION Rundooooown

MAN! Y'all know I could hardly wait to talk about this buffoonery today! Wow-sersssss! Soooo much happened last night, I gots to get my thoughts together! Ok...First things first! Karlie just admit it...You're old. It's ok. Seasoned is good...maybe not for you to be trying to get a rap/singing career off the ground...but it's good for baking cookies & being a grandma. Maybe you & Rasheeda can make some hits together...Call yourselves the "G-OLD-en Girls". 30+ is really too old to just be gettin' started on being a rap artist. I know Rasheeda been started, but she ain't got no where...Y'all need to try out for the X-Factor, then y'all will have a little better chance if you make it in the 30 & over group. K.Michele went in on Karlie  (she did look like Michael Jackson in Thriller) AND Rasheeda...Talked about how Rasheeda disrespected her hubby, how their marriage wasn't gonna work...but THEN....she had the AUDACITY to talk about the bags under her eyes... & THAT'S when Rasheeda felt froggy! You can dog me &/or my marriage, but don't you DARE talk about my eye luggage!! Her priorities are all messed up! Funny how she kept calling K.Michele bipolar but she's the one that couldn't control her temper. Hah, well...I do know that K.Michele's hair looked a little bipolar...It ain't know WHAT it was doin'? I guess her hair stylist ran out of things to do with her hair after all them changes she went thru on the show. But she ain't winning no gold medals so let me leave her hair alone. LOL! Ericka looked pretty...Yeah. Soooo.... Joseline sure called Scrappy out though...."Yo man know Ah'ma womeen, Ah yoose ta dahnce fah heem aw dee time...He know!" Yeah...tuck that tail Scrappy. Stuff started gettin' real tense when they started talkin' about that scuffle between Scrappy & Sleazy J...then they brought on Mama Dee & it went from real tense to real confusing...Mama Dee talkin'boutthronesqueens&princes say whaaat? No better way to kill tension than to throw in some meaningless derailing jibber jabber from a retired pimp addicted to prescription meds. Anyhoo...A lot of the relationships seemed to change since the show during the reunion last night. Friends on the show were no longer friends on the reunion...The only relationship that seems to be intact is the infamous triangle of Joseline, Stupid J, & Mimi. Mimi tried to sit up there like everything was everything- putting on this strong front, but the real came out when Mona asked the #1 question & Mimi stutter-stepped & once again used their offspring as a ticket to ride the Stevie J Community Bus. I have to even almost respect Joseline for not only keeping it real, admitting to only wanting that diseased rat's money & 'mess', confessing her true 'love' & 'respect' for Mimi even though she was sleeping with her man...& still is, but she's also a 'Woman of God'<insert choir music overture here>. Yeah. Soooo....Um...Yeeeah....Maybe one of her identities was at some point...but um...'Joseline Hernandez, you have a leetle work tah do, boo, 'fore you cahn claim dat titow.'<in my Shenellica Bettencourt voice> HA! Well, I don't know if the side of my brain that allows me to consume this utter nonsense will have recuperated by next week or not, but I will try to minimize my ignorance intake this week so that I can indulge in the festivities that will be the Reunion Part 2 next week! Until then, I'm gonna make like Karlie's birth certificate & get lost! HAAA!!