The Hookup

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

BASKET(CASE) WIVES RUNDIZZY:

Y'ALL WHAT IN THE TANGLED WEB OF WEAVE HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!? Ok, small pickles first! Wooh! Lemme get myself togethah! Ok...Gloria...Hey, girl! See you gettin' your Shaunie O'neal on, just makin' cameos n' thangs! Okaaay! U is important! Um...Bambi...You know you're hood if "Meet me at the park." immediately translates to "Let's fight!" in your brain. These folks on these shows ALWAYS meet in parks & thangs...SHEESH! Laura finally met her match though. I like the way Bambi is 

callin' her out & holdin' her accountable, HOWEVER, Bambi IS new, like Laura said, she's Malaysia +1, so she don't know Jackie.... yet. She will find out soon enough...it's inevitable. But you can tell Laura's intimidated by Bambi & that's funny...Maybe Laura needs to get her weight back up. LOL! Draya coming in that restaurant/bar dressed like Jackie had me rolliiiiing! Jackie could NEVER look that good in that get-up. She woulda looked like a busted can of biscuits in that see-thru shirt. Then Jackie....MAN! She's like a drunk auntie that embarrasses her self so bad at a get-together that EVERYBODY around is humiliated. She is soooo over the top, she's cleared the cuckoo's nest & is headed for orbit! She is quite a few pumpkins short of a pumpkin patch for reals! Brooke...oh Bah-rooke!!! She was as ready as a dog in heat, wasn't she?!? She wanted to fight SOME-BODY...ANY-BODY! Malaysia talked her way out of her butt-whoopin'...Though I think a lot of that had to do with the Great Wall of Bambi standin' behind her. Brooke ain't about that life...but she was about tryin' to rip that dollar store headband out of Jackie's hair. Why, Jackie? Why would you even try it? Then whenever Brooke got in striking distance, she wanted to act like she was tryin' to calm her down & when folks got between her she wanted to keep talkin' mess! Can't believe that they cut the fight! Word in the street is Jackie didn't want it to be shown & threatened to sue VH1 if they showed it. Don't know how true that is...but I can believe it. And the poor bar dude...He ain't know what to do, did he? He was just standing there probably thinkin', "These are really a bunch of angry Black women!" Way to represent, ladies! SMH! Jackie is messy & a mess-starter & a mess-keep-on-goin'-er. <---I just made that term up.---> It's even rollin' over into her family life as her own kids don't even like her. BTW- Is her one daughter by Shaq? HA! Lemme quit cuz that's how rumors get started. As dignified as Shaunie tries to act, if that was true, she would be the next one to have a handful of Jackie's weave. Wait til Jackie's kids see this episode with their mama parading in a public place in her girdle & panties. THAT'S the scene they shoulda cut. I thought my eyes were gonna bleed! My husband had to give me warm milk & rock me to sleep because of that mess! I'm an avid watcher of The Walking Dead & ain't NEVAH seen nothing THAT terrorizin'! Well...I'm gonna leave y'all with words from the wise K. Michelle (hope Jackie reads this ;o)..."Don't SHAKE unless you're ready to get SHOOK!" HOLLA!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Basketcase Wives Rundoooown: Jackie May Unleash the Crazy, But Not the Hubby!

If I haven't mentioned it before or enough... Malaysia's teeth are H-U-G-E! Seriously...she can bite a hole in a donut...several of 'em...AT THE SAME TIME! I can't take it! She can't even close her mouth! When they were doing that para-sailing/kite thing, I was kinda hoping she would fall on her teeth & be dragged a while to sand off some of nem joints! I'm also beginning to think she's a bit of an instigator. I mean...she tries to come off like the peacemaker, but the way she goes about things is sneaky & underhanded. First, inviting Jackie to Gloria's party & not giving anybody a heads up, & now, with asking Brooke, 'Can I bring 'somebody'?' without telling her who it is. Why didn't she just ask, 'Can I bring Bambi?' knowing that they got beef. You don't do mess like that...That'll getcha popped!<--In my Tammi from the OG BBW voice--> Bambi almost acts more scared than anything & I don't blame her...Brooke looks like
she can throw them paws from the previews of next week's show...But that's next week...Moving right along. Laura is just as funny as she is two-faced. "I do...I mean, not dissin'...but I think I got jokes." & the faces she be making...though some I don't think she can help. LOL! Bambi just wants drama. Ain't nobody sneak-dissin' you, Paranoid Patty....& Messy Malaysia, "Call her on it!" always dippin'...HUSH, Puppy! Laura's outfit was outrageous, but I think she thought Jackie was gonna go that route too being that she did go that route on just a casual night out....Why not at your Salute-To-the-Gay-Community-Over-the-Top 17th Marriage to the same man??? But once again, Jackie always does the opposite of what makes sense. She's clearly chemically imbalanced! & Doug is too or just really whipped...I'm guessing the latter. He's her puppy at her beck & call...Doggie Christie...So sad. That little exchange between her & Brooke was uncomfortable. She really should know she's not a match. Crazy don't make you a fighter, boo. Stick to 'adoring' chicks, then plotting against them...that's what you do best. Changing into high-top Nikes 'to take a drink' .... Maaaaan...puhlease! You are not hard, Jackie-Lantern! You're just CRAZY. That's it! Well...like the straight-jacket Jackie should be wearing, time for me to wrap it up! HOLLA!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Basket(Cases) Wives Rundoo-ow-ow-ow-oooown: Bambi From Da Block

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!! So much to saaaaay! First up--> Bambi. Where in the Hoodratville did she come from?!? Oh yeah...that's right...Straight outta Compton. Maaaan, she is the Queen of Ratchet City! I know it's Breast Cancer Awareness month & e'erthang & I'm support it 100%... but who wears a pink bandana with an after-five dress to a promotional party? I mean....this is a 'dressy' event, your Ratchetness! THEN the chick just KEPT wearin' the bandana...with like...EVERYTHANG in E'ER SCENE! Is that her signature bandana or something?!? She must be the one to blame for Malaysia's recent horrendous head gear catastrophes. She did look good for her performance, though & I agree with her on that Laura/Malaysia tip with being fake with Jackie....BUT crazy knows & supports crazy & if she really likes Jackie like she says she does, then the girls need to be really watchin' their backs cuz if she's Jackie Crazy AND from Compton, she's not only gonna flip the script but she's sho' nuff gon' cut u while she's doin' it! Anyway...Yeah, Malaysia how u gon' bring the Bride of Dougie back to life, then want get tired of her so fast? That's YOUR project...her & her many personalities! You better get some more patience & stop rollin' them Garfield eyes lookin' like a human caricature! You need to get your friend! Speaking of friends, Brooke & Draya are really chummin' it up, hangin' out with the kids & thangs... Let's talk about the kids. It was good to see Draya's son...Thought he'd have better hair. LOL! I quit. But Brooke's kids are GROWN! Now... I ain't one to knock no one's hustle...unless they're a drug dealer or a contract killer...but...er...um...Her one boy is 13. He's old enough to see or have friends that see his mama on the cover & in them magazines all scantily clad. I wonder how he feels about that. Ok...Mama is makin' money- but kids, especially African-American boys, don't like to see their mamas half dressed, especially for all to see. I mean, just think...His friends and their fathers lookin' & lustin' over his mama. I don't know...I just find that kinda...Yikes. Not judgin', just sayin. Also, what kind of example is it setting for her beautiful 15 yr old daughter. Sex sells??? Don't get me wrong, Brooke looks great...I ain't hatin'...But I'm a mom of a boy and a girl, both teenagers...Making money, great body, whatever...There's no price on my kids' innocence &/or their respect...That's why I keep my tight body covered with this here skin-toned bubble wrap! HAAA! Anyhoo, moving right along. Laura is as fake as her nose....and she might be just as bona fide psychotic as Jackie. I mean...she's literally plottin' against her. What grown woman does that? "She was actin' all best friend with me, then goin' back & doggin' me, so I'm doin' the same to her. I got plans for, Jackie." Whaaaa-? I figured it out though. Laura is spiteful. I know...Don't call me a genius. But that's also why she's so quick to tell Jackie to put her foot in lil' Draya's mouth or tailbone, cuz she's still salty about lil' Draya messin' with her man in that locker room. Yep...If you ain't heard about it, Google it. She's Lifetime Movie cray-cray...Right along with Jacked-up Jackie, cryin' all up in Bambi's set like that. I think she was crying cuz she realized how stupid she looked in that Pirate of the ScaryBeings mess she was wearing. Seriously...Her dementia is really starting to show...& it's gettin' uglier... Tryin' to keep up with the younguns. SMH! Whatever happened to growing old gracefully? Somebody needs to tell her to BATHE in the Oil of Olay instead of SNIFFING it. Well...like Jackie's fashion sense, I'm DONE! HOLLA!!!

Monday, October 15, 2012

N the News 2day: My Vote is Colorblind!

They're gonna do a study to see if the Blacks who want to vote for Obama are only doing so because he's Black. Um...A better question would be are those Whites who want to vote for Romney only doing so because Obama is Black? Hmmm?!? I, personally, am voting for PRESIDENT Obama because he really has MY, the 47% middle class's, best interest in mind. I don't agree with all his views but I do agree with the way he views ME, my coworkers and my loved ones. The candidate I like just HAPPENS to be Black. Not my fault, neither is it HIS! Matter of fact, it's not a FAULT at all! 'Certain' people CRIED when Obama was elected into office...CRIED, I SAY!!!! When has anybody CRIED over a President being elected into office because they thought the country was DOOMED?!? And it sure wasn't just because he is a Democrat because if that was the case, why didn't they cry when Clinton was elected? They CRIED and almost lost their minds because Ob
ama is HALF Black...Now, he is the 'Anti-Christ' and America has been 'OVER-TAKEN'(since Romney feels the need for 'us' to 'take America BACK' o_O). The negative response to having a Black President was so outrageous that they deemed it necessary to make a VIDEO of the reactions of 'certain' people who wanted to leave the country & really thought America was gonna spontaneously combust under PRESIDENT Obama's rule...simply because the country had never had a President of color. (REGARDLESS OF THE 'POLITICAL EXCUSES' THEY TRY TO GIVE TO COVER UP THE 'REAL' REASON! Shoot, some even came right out and said it was because he was Black...Which I would almost rather than the LIES!) Wow. Sure wish folks would stop trying to flip the script & shift the blame.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Basket(case) Wives Rundoooown: Where has Jackie's hamster gone? It's no longer running on it's little wheel...




Ok. Malaysia and them dang-on headwraps...Seriously...Those chicks ain't her real friends, cuz they wouldn't let her go 'round lookin' like Sista Chiquita Banana Model with them thangs on her head...Then, that one scene where she had that chopped up bob wit them 1970 Floor Model TV lookin' glasses....Them thangs took up her whole face! Whhhyyyy would they let her keep doin' stuff like that to herself?!? I guess anything to TRY to take the focus off them giant teeth of hers. Them thangs look like billboards with available space. SMH! Least they white though...She need to donate some of her teeth to her girl...cuz Bambi's teeth are too little...Or her gums are too big...I don't know...Maybe her & Malaysia just need to trade grills all together since Malaysia's Amazon teeth would better fit Bambi's Amazon body. LOL!! What a moving scene with the sisters. Laura might shouldn't cry though...She gotta OOGLY cry face! Sheesh! Her top lip look like it was havin' an allergic reaction to something...maybe it was allergic to emotion...tears...IDK, but that thang spread all across her face...made her look like that guy on the MAD magazine cover. Glad they talked though. Nothin' like a sisterly bond. It was really sad to hear of Gloria's miscarriage. K...Nuff of that mushy stuff. Why for come Draya's mama look 60 & her daddy look 35? I was mad they cut that fight off between her and Jackie Coo Coo. Jackie's not only bonkers but she's also a liar! I can't stand females like that! AND she's like 55! Ain't she supposed to be done with this kinda drama by now. I mean, really...I heard about women in their midlife goin' through menopause, but Jackie is going through MENTAL-pause. Her mental faculties are shutting down at a rapid pace. I mean, your like 58, fightin' young broads in clubs with 9 inch heels & a suit on that probably fit you just right 20 yrs ago! Quit playin' & take a seat, in your hover round, Grandmother, 'fore you break a hip! Ain't nobody got time for that! But I don't like the way Laura is playin' Jackie...Talkin' bout, "I don't understand why she thinks I'm her friend..." MAYBE CUZ YOU TOLD HER YOU LIKED HER, FAKESTER! MAYBE CUZ YOU KEEP MEETING UP WITH HER & HAVIN' FRIENDLY CONVERSATION, PHONY PONY! Laura done got her face done in more ways than one...Matter of fact, she's got TWO-FACES! Ok...well let me make like Jackie with Malaysia's earring in that yet-to-be-aired fight scene & knock it off! LOL!!! I'm OUT!!! HOLLA!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Ratchetball Wives Rundooooown: Lazarus AKA Satan?

Malaysia makes me want to go to sleep...cuz she always looks like she's finsta go to sleep. Don't she? And she's BOR-ING-ah! She bored HERSELF to sleep in that sound booth. LOL!! Anyhoo... Don't nobody want one
of nem funky 'exclusive' Basketball Girlfriends/Baby Mamas/Jump Offs/Wives <which is very rare> chains. Ok...Maybe I do think it's cute, but there will be a knock off available in your local hair store and/or AM/PM shop soon. Don't sweat it. What is up with Malaysia's head gear lately? I don't get it. First the doily head band, then yesterday she was all turbaned out lookin' like she was finsta tell Laura her future & she did... kinda when she said,"You WILL speak to your sister...or I will." Why she think she's always Sister Fix-A-Chick. Stay in your lane, MaLazy Eyes. LOL! But I do wonder what is going on between the sisters. Y'all think its because Gloria stole all the femininity from Laurence...er...a...Laura? LOL! Just kidding...That is sooo wrong...Laura looks nice...She's all dressin' up this season n' thangs....but she'll still 'fart on your face if you lay down.' Hmmm...yeah...Anyhoo...Just as I thought I was gonna like Brooke, I'm kinda gettin' leery of her now...I mean she feels like she can really 'hang' & have a good time with Dr. Jackie & Mrs. Hyde. Then again, Jackie gotta way of making folks feel like that & then....when she can't stifle it no more...OUT JUMPS THE MANIAC!! Brooke gon' learn, I'm sure. Though she shoulda known something when she went to that pool party & seen that psychotic set up with the girls' pictures on the food table. Who prints out Google pics of their party guests & puts them in bedazzled frames as party decor??? And the cards from the .99 cent (Blank Inside) section...with the over the top reaction from Jackie. Hey, cray-cray...YOU wrote the cards...Now...You & your multiple personalities pull yourselves together! Then this chick gonna be upset that the girls didn't react the way SHE wanted them to. What type of one-flew-over-the-cuckoo's-nest type mess is that? She don't wanna be certifiable all by herself. Well, don't worry, Sybil...Your many personalities are crazy right along with you! I seent (yes, seenT) fear in lil ol' Draya's eyes when Jackie said that prayer over her food. It was HI-LARIOUS when she asked,"Who was you praying to?" LOL! Jacked-up got all defensive like, "I heard about all that SatOnic stuff...Lazarus is NOT a friend of mine!" O_o SatONIC? Lazarus?!? We went from talking about Jesus to the devil to a possible drink to a biblical character who was raised from the dead? I even think she actually called him LazaRETH...but whatever...She's so loud AND wrong it's ridiculous. Really....Jackie, Mama Dee & Mama Jones need to put out an Ebonics & Ignorance Tutoring Kit for Dummies translated by Joseline. LOL!!!!! Well, like Jackie Crazy...er...Christie...I'm OFF!! Holla!!!