RHOA RUNDOWN: What was up with that Apolling kiss from Apollo?

All those sick of hearing about Koo-Koo Kenya & that man that's NOT hers?!? Raise your hands! Sheesh! The gig is up, chile! He don't want you cause you are cer-tee-fiable, girl! He ain't tryna be the blurred body in the bed on Snapped! He better leave her completely alone cause she will have that man fighting D.V. charges if he breathes too hostilely in her direction. Y'all saw that scene...Dude was talking all regular & she was like "Stop yelling at me!"...Then all that talk about being beat up & 'when a man gets aggressive'...I just hope ol' Walter knows...THERE'S A THIN LIIIIIINE BETWEEN LOVE & CAH-RAZYYYY! RUN, WALTER, RUUUUN! NeNe looked great for her Ebony photo shoot! I would loooove to get that dress so I could look like a million bucks...Literally. I like Porsha...but...Her dude is too much in her business for me. I mean...it'd be one thing if this was a business deal & she was being taken advantage of or something...But this is just a silly cat fight between chicks that don't even know each other for real. Why does he have so much to say? & who'd he get all stabbed up by? Did y'all see all them keloided wounds? Maybe he dated Kenya & that's why he's so adamant about Porsha given her the what-for...I dunno... Yeah...soooo...Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater....tsk, tsk, tsk... Now you KNOW good n' darn well that ain't the strip club you normally patronize! I believe he's been there before, but tain't his regular joint. He took Cynthia to see them Walmartians to throw her off his lil slimy tail! Ol' sneaky silverback! Half them woman was as old as Cynthia or older & didn't look near as good! What is with the Parks? Is Apollo's last name Parks? Who cares? Anyhoo, why was each of them ready to go in on their relationships at the most inopportune times? I mean, Phaedra starts to spill her heart out in the middle of Kandi's awkward house blessing ceremony & Apollo starts rambling on in an 'over 45' strip club! Phaedra was so embarrassed! SMH! She coulda probably crawled into one of them granny stripper's rolls & died! HA!! All them face contortions she was doing! Apollo talkin' bout time restraints, usin' his prison vocab n' such...SMH! Least he's cute. *Shrugs* LOL! 16 months with no sunlight, rain &/or slight breeze?!? Yep...I do believe Apollo gotta dark side we ain't been privy to yet. 16 months? That's enough to make anybody be a little insane in the membrane. Then that whole sloppy kissing scene...Yick! It was a little forced & uncomfortable for me & I was watching it after the fact, in the comfort of mine own home, hundreds of miles away from the ATL...I could just imagine how it was for those who had front row seats to that Lickfest! I bet Phaedra's face was all kinda pasty after that mess! EW! Almost as pasty as I felt when that guy licked me from my chin to my hairline in that club over a decade ago...But that's another story...I digress. Ahem...I must say I was surprised that she wants to still do business with Kenya. But hey...friends close...enemies closer...I guess. I do hope Apollo is not being unfaithful & doesn't break Phaedra's heart though...She don't seem as 'hard' as she has she has made herself out to be. I think that would crush her. Well...like Apollo felt after being in solitary confinement for 16 months when he volunteered for trash detail- it's time for me to be out! HOLLA!!

 

RH(&desperateHousewiveWannabes)OA Rundooooown: Kenya Brings A Whole New Level To Crazy

Mmm...mmm...mmm... Well... Let's see...tain't really much to say. That convo between NeNe & Kandi was much needed...& a little awkward. Greg & NeNe with all that 'riding two-legged horses' talk was grossing me out...again. I will give Greg a whole dollar to never...EVER do that 'giddyup/slappin' the donkey' jig again in this life or the next. Kenya with that pageant-ology...Yeah...Def not the way you apologize, boo. Then again she did say congeniality was not her strong suit. That was ONE thing she didn't lie about...but we'll talk about what she DID lie about in a minute. She is really something else trying to read Cynthia at that little soggy supper with that book. Cynthia is really trying to be hard these days...though...I ain't really understand her lil get-up she wore to the beach. What was with the geek glasses & the winter/fall fedora with beach gear?? Come on, Cynthia...You're the model...You know better than mess like that. Anyhoo, back to Kenya. Porsha made her so mad she went back to the room & busted that huge pimple on the side of her face! I guess since she couldn't POP Porsha, she decided to POP something...Poor, huge, monstrous blemish! 'It's not a tumor!'<In my Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. HA!!! Porsha kept saying 'I didn't call you out of your name!' but you did, sweetie. I don't care how cray-cray Kenya is...you ain't gotta lie! Kenya is more than cray-cray though. Chick is downright & certifiably psychotic! You sittin' here...KNOW you & dude ain't together...KNOW he's just PRETENDING to be your man by YOUR request & you steady tryna make him propose to you FOR REAL! Gonna have fits complete with the ugly cry face, snot & e'erthang! You are coo-coo, girl! Walter better watch out & I hope he keeps all of his pets locked up! I would hate for him to find his bunny boiling on his stove 'cause Kenya is definitely a Fatal Attraction type female! Why did she feel like she had to lie to kick it in the first place? All that feigned confidence went right out the window behind these little shenanigans. Truly confident women don't have to make-up a relationship or beg a man to propose to them. It's really sad & I hope she stays on her meds & continues to seek counseling! Well...that's all I got for now...So like Kenya's sanity...I'm GONE WITH THE WIND!!!

Basketbrawl Wives (& friends & babies' muvvas) Brrrrreakdown:

Sooooo let's just start with the opener. Who do you think should leave the show? I guess everybody is over the Govan Sisters! Is it ironic their last name begins with GO? Peace out, ladies! Though, & I know this is contrary to most viewers views...I like Laura...I knoooow...I dunnooo....I respect that she seen what she was doing, acknowledged it, admitted it & sincerely apologized for it. She gained my 'like' for that. Did y'all see how Wacky Jackie, ONCE AGAIN, made it about her? "I picked me because I know that they all want me to leave..." Man, shut up, Eeyore! Everybody is not out to get you! What's out to get you was them daggone hooker boots & that Walmart bra w/underwire under that pleather trench raindress! Lookin' like Fake-trix... She was maaaaaad when they showed that clip with her daughter! Tryna act like it had been edited & Laura tricked her in some way. That girl KNEW Laura was on a TV show...She KNEW there would be cameras there & she KNEW that she was exposing her mother for who she really is! That was her AIM!! Jackie is STILL steady trying to save face! Mopey-eyed Malaysia kills me trying to act all hard like "They can do what they do! I don't care!" But you diiiiiid! You KEPT trying to hold Kumbaya sessions & mess! I mean, I know that you were just loving how the drama popped off & you had front row seats to it all, but you were FRONTING like you really wanted to keep the peace! What's the purpose? Problem with these chicks is- none of them can hear. Brooke couldn't hear Draya apologize, Bambi couldn't her Gloria's explanation of why she shouldn't speak on Jackie & Laura's relationship & Draya couldn't hear Laura's apology on tape to Jackie PRIOR to the reunion & PRIOR to that lil 'Come to Malaysia' meeting/Last Supper. This is your brain or Reality TV show fame, people. Whoever asked that question to Jackie as to why she's hanging with the 'broke down' chicks. Man, puh-lease! Jackie is the brokest-down of them all! And that question about Doug...Yeah...I think this may have been the last of the Christies' many senseless weddings. How you gonna answer the question "Is your hubby gay?" with uncertainty????? WHA-?!? Um...if you don't know that, I'd say you're in trouble, hon! & if Doug is indeed NOT gay...Wow...He's gonna be a little upset with her response because that "I don't know, I never asked him." came across the airwaves as a big, fat 'YES!' Mmmhmmm...You can tell they into some weird stuff anyway.... Shoooot....Jackie wears her dominatrix get-up on TV! Bambi still had that 'act' going on..."Shimmer that!" Shimmer what? So Draya wants you...And? She's a freak...You look-a like-a man...sooooo...It seems only natural...No shimmer to it really...*Shrugs* By the way, catch Gloria's webisodes one the what? The WEB! That's right! When Bambi was hating she shoulda been like 'But can you do this?' (See pic) HA! Isn't it ironic that Bambi was a boy deer? Just a friendly FYI if you ain't know...Welp, like lil Bambi's mama on the movie, I'm gone! HOLLA!

RH(&Wannabes)OA RUNDOWN: Cynthiarella & Peter Charmings Wedding #2 Minus The Evil In-Laws

K...This is gonna be short, sweet & to the point. Kandi & her dude...They nasty. Ew. <--In my Nicki Minaj voice--> Greg & NeNe...Double Ew. LOL! Greg mentioning that Viagra...then trying to act like he ain't need it cuz Peter rejected it. Talkin' like he 'just happened' to have some. Man...PUH-LEASE! He knows he has an ongoing prescription...with his old self! "What's holdin' you back?" "HUNH?" "What's holdin' you back?" "What's hurtin' my back?" Yeah, Grandpa, you need them & don't forget your Life Alert...Cuz with NeNe 'I Used To Do This For A Living' Leakes, you're gonna need it! Ha! Anyhoo...Um...It is ever-so apparent, now that the cat's out the bag that Walter & Kenya are definitely not an item. They are very awkward. And you can always count on NeNe "Sniff-Out-A-Rat" Leakes to be the one to call attention to some stuff like that. Kenya's reaction to the whole thing said it all. You're not gonna get nothing past NeNe "Interrogator" Leakes. She couldn't even keep her lies straight! Then the argument that ensued...NeNe "Instigator" Leakes done it again! Porsha & Kenya said they moved on! Leave it at that! You don't have to know what happened, even though you already do, Ms. NeNe "Nosey" Leakes! They're trying to bury the hatchet & here you go trying to dig it back up! Let sleeping dogs lie, NeNe, dang! Porsha wanted to pop that pimple on the side of Kenya's oily head so baaaad! LOL!! Neither one of them had witty comebacks...Kenya had one good one when she told Porsha to read a book...cuz chick is a bit dense... Other than that I was thoroughly disappointed in the lack of wit in the banter betwixt the ladies. Kenya actually made sense in her points though... Just like Porsha is upholding her grandfather's legacy, she has the right to uphold hers...as Miss Detroit/America/U.S./Bonkers or whatever. Just when I was like, "Ok, Kenya...You're making sense..." She did that drag queen turn & made that ''Gone With the Wind'' statement & I literally seen the one fly over the cuckoo's nest. Then the dramatic spinning exit...Yeah...She is definitely one crown short of a Miss Sane Pageant...I think Ms. Lawrence taught her that move...aaand he shouldn't have.  ANTYWAAAYSSS ...Ending this on a lovely note...That was soooo sweet of Peter to do that for Cynthia! It was beautiful...Even more beautiful than that extravagant first wedding they had. It was simple. Their true friends (well, SOME) were there. Peter was lookin' like a California Raisin dipped in yogurt in all that white. I loved it! It definitely felt more real & less forced than the first wedding. I'm not superstitious... but it was kinda weird & a little messed up as well as symbolic... & being that Kenya & Walter's lantern crashed & burned, that Kandi's & her boo's did too. The only two that did...Hmmm... Welp, like the successful flight of the rest of the lanterns... I'm gone! HOLLA!!!

RATCHETBALL Wives (& friends) BREAKDOWN: Finale & Reunion Part 1

WHAT IS UP?!? Like Wacky Jackie's mind, I been slippin' lately & I apologize! There's soooo much to talk about, so let me just jump right in! I don't care what nobody says, as much as she tries to put on the Penny Peacemaker act, she is Messy Malaysia! How are you gonna, at one point, be like Rodney King, 'Can we all just get along?' and the next be in Draya's room tellin' all the business, that doesn't concern y'all? They wanna blame Jackie for always playing both sides of the fence, but Malaysia is her teammate. For real...Don't let the big, toothy smile fool ya! She is just as much a shiest as Jackie & Laura. I could tell Jackie was really feeling what she was saying about her kids, but just like Laura, I ain't tear up neither. This is what shoulda came out prior to all the stupid shenanigans. Then Jackie was only hurt because her daughter told her what she told Laura about the messed up things she did to her daughters. She tried to correct it on camera when she was like, "And she said, 'You were a good mom to us!' She told me that's all she called you for to tell you I was a good mom." If she had in fact said that, why would Jackie have been so upset? I respect that Laura told Jackie her original intentions and she kept it real on the reunion too. She was evil, at the time, and was on some revenge stuff. I believed and felt for Laura more than I did for Jackie because Jackie was still trying to save face. We know, even in Laura's case 'Hurt people, hurt people.'...& Bipolar Brooke must be REALLY hurt cuz she wants to hurt people all the time! She goes from 0-60 in 2 seconds flat! I'm turned off to Brooke...Draya tried to talk to her (SOO MANY TIMES) & she was still like, "You look pathetic to me." And you look stuffed in that dress (at the dinner), is what I woulda said, but Draya wasn't trying to get her Tinkle Bell face smashed in so she tried to keep it together. Neither was Gloria! She kept talkin' AND kept right on walkin' off that bus! LOL! Bambi wasn't havin' it! She was gonna let that Compton loose all over her. The Govans & Brooke are messy as ever too! All that checkin' up on & Mean Girl tactics are ridiculous. I mean, once you found out whether or not Draya 'worked' or not, what exactly was you gonna do with that info? What would it have changed?? Watchin' the show back brought crazy tension to the reunion. It's always funny to me on the reunions, because don't these chicks know that what's done & said on the show, during the confessionals, "at the end of the day" everybody's gonna see it come the reunion?? Why attempt to be underhanded & backbiting? Wait...Y'all smell that?? Well, if y'all don't Gloria does because it's HERSELF & she was smelling herself all last night! I'M the 'REASON' for this spin-off...True...but puh-lease! If you were awladat, you woulda been sittin' right next to the host like Shaunee does. You're not, so you weren't! Jackie with that pleather raindress...Really? 'You look like you smell!" HA! Laura is fuh-larious...aaand on point. Jackie does look stinky. Loved Draya's hair, Malaysia looked beautiful, liked Laura's look, Gloria's lipstick was poppin' (though a little out of her lip line), Brooke looked really nice & elegant & she kept her pitbull persona chained up........then there was Bambi. Was her demeanor an act that she tried to match up with her outfit? I mean she had that fake bougie accent & kept saying stuff like, "I'm blonde! I'm fabulous! I have shimmer!", with that horrible weave that she kept strokin' ...Pettin' it like she was trying to keep it sleep or something...Wha-?!? She lookeded<Yes, lookedED>like Compton's version of Jessica Rabbit- Messyca Ratchet. I didn't get it. AT ALL. Anywhoo...There you have it folks...Quite the lengthy breakdown but that's what you get when they run two shows back to back like that. *Shrugs* HOLLA!

RHOA RUNDOOOOOWN: Kenya Goes Too Far...Or Not?

I know that I have been slippin' y'all & I sincerely apologize! There's been sooo much goin' on, not only in MY life, but in the lives of these wives...er...wannabe wives. Well except for Cynthier...& who? Who?? Oooh, Kim! Kim....with the bad wigs...Yeah...Well she made like the ends of her real hair & split! Sees ya on the flip side, Kimbo...You too, Celie...I mean Sweetie...You will not be missed! Just remember this show made you relevant...& your departure will surely bring you back down to your original state. Though, I must say, I feel her to a certain extent. Your family should be your main priority, but you don't have to lie to NOT kick it. Then to make that dramatic exit like somebody did something to her! Like Kandi's mama said, "If she could do what she did to her own mother, then why be surprised when she flips on you?!?"<---I know that wasn't verbatim, but it was the gist! I threw up the peace sign so tough I pulled a muscle in my wrist! Anyhoo, moving right along. Greg & Nene are still making me ill. I dunno...it's just gross to me. I mean, more power to real love & everything but when he be flirkin'...Yes, flirKin'...it makes me wanna hurl. He just seems like a dirty ol' man...All that left eye, right eye, poppin' open talk when referring to seeing Cynthier's escapees...YYYICK!!! Nene & them head wraps that she kept flippin' like it was hair. Really? And why is Peter the only dude that does the confessionals? Ok. Enough of the small talk! Let's get to the couples that were the spotlight stories! Phaedra with that...um...swimsuit? I guess she was trying to make a point...or something. I dunno...um...but that donkey caught in a net was a bit much to be wearing around other women's men. I'm just sayin'. AND they were BLACK men...Which most, if not all, are Donk-ologists in their own rights. I didn't think that was really cool. She shoulda thought more about her hair, cuz it's been a lil wack this season. Don't get me wrong I like Phaedra, but just cuz I like her don't mean I'm not gonna tell the truth. Antywaaaayz.....LAWD!! That Kenya (needs to know less is) Moore!! She is somethin' else! She shoulda been snatched up when she made her hills come alive in front of Peter like that! But then to be flirkin...Yes, flirKin...with every dude that was NOT HER dude was CRAZYYY! I know she's like 48<intended exaggeration> but she was actin' like a hot-tailed teenager! Then she wonders why she's not married yet! Just heard on the radio, y'all, that Tow Truck Tommy ain't even & was never her true boo! Das what I heard! Mmmmhmmm...So she is just as perped out as any man on that boat that tried to act like they wasn't lookin' at Phaedra's booty in that mesh! LOL! But lemme play devil's advocate for a second...Do you think that with the way Phaedra talks, along with that daring (everything OUT)fit made Kenya think that it was alright to approach her with that question?? Did the Donkologist, Ph. D.'s openness backfire? I'm just sayin' we need to watch what we put out there because the way we present ourselves might give others the assumption that we're on some stuff that we are not on. Kenya def woulda got dealt with had it been me...but I like to be fair & see everybody's view.Well, I gotta make like the previously proposed business venture between Phaedra, Apollo & Kenya (the donkey workout video) & bid farewell! HAA!! HOLLA!

Basketbrawling Wives Breakdown: Are the Bosom/Butt Buddies gonna have some beef?

Mmmkaaaay!!! Where do I start??? Massive Molar Malaysia and Big Bodyguard Bambi, I love what you're doing giving back to the community. Talkin' to those girls...Not sure what neither one of you were wearing or why but good for you nonetheless! Malaysia you ain't got no right gettin' mad at nobody but yourself for always jumpin' in some stuff that doesn't concern you! You know Jackie's wacky so why would you even believe her when she said she didn't know it was a White party? She knew! She just, once again, wanted to stand out and make the event about her! THEN, Jackie gon' be like,"Everybody was gon' be jealous!" OF. WHAT?!? Cause nobody does 'Crazy' as good as you??? She is really delusional man. Draya almost made me cry when she said, "I don't know if it's Alzheimer's or what.." HA! (She actually said All Timers, but I caught her drift & it was fuuunnnnyyyy!) Bambi...you're just like your little baby deer namesa

ke, you have no clue! I understand you mean well, but pump your brakes! You will see once they play all this back on the reunion, Jackie is TRYING to play everybody. Laura knew the gig was up so she decided to completely let the cat out of the bag. But like Laura said and because she IS petty, it's not over yet...She does need to build a bridge, get over it and leave Jackie under it like the troll she is. There's still some stuff to be hashed out...& I'm sure it will be on the reunion show! Soooo surprised and glad that Laura didn't play the 'Bad Mother' card that she had, cuz ol' Jackie sho'nuff opened the floor for her to use it! It's gonna get played and once again, poor Jackie's feelings are gonna be 'hurt'! I'm like comatose tired of Jackie talkin' about how she's always 'hurt' and how she 'cares deeply for everyone of you girls'! Bambi ain't catchin' on to that mess yet?!? Maybe it's cause she's so tall... Takes a minute for the info to get to the top of the mountain...I dunno. Ummm...Good for Gloria and Matt. Yeah. Um...Draya, you better check yourself...You know Brooke gotta history of sittin' on things, lettin' them fester, then showin' up in fightin' gear & snatchin' weaves! I understand, kinda, where Draya's comin' from as far as dude ain't have to bring her up in that convo, but she ain't have to start downplaying the magazine and Brooke's accomplishment because of HIS ignorance! Brooke will work your little tail...Please bring it in and be careful little mouth what you say! It's. About. To. Go. Down. Booty Models Go Wild...ER! LOL! Welp, lemme make like Draya at that photo shoot and get on up outta here! HOLLA!

RHOA Rundown (Just a tad late! Quit your gripin'!): Bourgeoisie is as bourgeoisie does.

 Sooooo Kim...Back to the townhouse you go, aye! We all gotta do it at some point in our lives. Swallow our pride...take that step back...But you could do it with a little more grace. NO home in  ALL of Atlanta meets YOUR standards so you moving back to a TOWNHOME?!?! COME ON!!! Surely there must be some lush, plush pad that tickles your fancy. You're not that far removed from the trailer park! I'm sure if you would've got to Kandi quicker she would've let you lease the house she's moving out of. *Shrugs* I'm not even gonna mention Not-so Sweetie. Dang! I just did! Anyhoo... Speaking of bougie folks who don't need to be, NeNe, you're not so far removed from the ghetto yourself for you to be actin' like that about subways & street hot dogs...Ok...I'm not to keen on those things myself, but we're not talking about me! I like Cynthia's down-to-Earthness! I don't know about y'all, but if I have to be subject to any more of Grampa Greg's flirkin'...Yes...FlirKin'...I'm gonna freakin' hurl like I ate one of them street dogs on a merry-go-round goin' 85 mph! I can't take it! His bottom teeth look like a rickety old wooden fence! "I wanna key to your house...to your heart!" How 'bout a key to the dentist's office and to Shady Green Acres Nursing Home, fool! Seriously! He looks like the offspring of Uncle Ben and a California Raisin! EE-YUCK!!!! How NeNe act that funny about a hot dog, yet she thinks THAT looks good? I dunnooo...I liked the interaction between Kandi & her peeps....Yeah...K...Moving right along...Phaedra is still infatuated with butts & her hubby is still dense....but he looks good...soooo....I just thought it was weird that they live together but she didn't know he had been certified. They were talking like they hadn't seen each other in months. Maybe that's just me...Well...NEW KID ON THE BLOCK!! Porsha made her entrance, didn't she? I like her! Unlike the other divas, she seems genuinely happy. A lil hyper for my taste, but sometimes it's hard to tone down Happy! But don't let the smile fool ya! She sure put ol' Kenya in her place! She was like, Miss USA moomushmay! It was how many decades ago? Get over it! I know Kenya acts the way she acts because she is hurt behind the situation with her mother. Hurt people hurt people. I get it. But be prepared for some comebacks, boo! Welcome to the group, Porsha! You seem like just the firecracker this show needs! AND she's actually married AND a REAL housewife of Atlanta!! Shut the front door! This is gonna be fun! Well, it's time for me to make like Kenya & leave the party! HOLLA!!!

A Few Pumps of Air Short of a Baskeball Wives BREAKDOWN!

Aaawwww...Brooke was so nice & sincere about grabbing Geriatric Jackie's weave & slammin' her head into that table! That was real cool for her to apologize! Jackie still had the nerve

to wear fight gear as if that was ever gonna aid her in fighting Brooke. Granny, your fighting days are...or at least SHOULD BE over! I mean...you're at the age of broken hips & knee replacements! Ain't nobody got time for that! And as far being a Fashionista ... Um...How do I put this nicely?? Jackie...you're more along the lines of a FashioNOTTA...a FashioNASTY even. Prepared to be emotionally devastated, dear. The only one who 'adores' your fashion sense is you & you have no sense...Oh...& Doug... Your blind seeing-eye puppy...He likes it...but that's it! I didn't know that her daughter was his. He be talking to her like a...a....a STEPfather...Like he's afraid to talk to her. Wow. Their relationship really is strained. So is the big, blacker one his? WHAT?!? Oh! I didn't mean...Well...Her own mama refers to her like that soooooo....SO?!? It makes me wanna go 'Brooke' on Jackie's dimpled behind! I cannot believe a mother could do & say the things that she's done & said. Then when Brooke asked her about it, she tried to play it down. I know there are two sides to every story, but I don't believe Jackie's daughter would lie on her like that, & with Jackie's track record, I can't help but to believe it. It makes sense too as to why her kids...her own flesh & blood, despise her so much. I was flabbergasted at that little bit of disclosure last night! SMH! I digress...Malaysia's party was cute. Malaysia is pretty...That big hair worked wonders though...it really took the focus off them humongo chompers! LOL!! Did y'all expect all that turnin' against Laura? Jackie was lovin' it up too, talkin' 'bout, "Get out! Go!" trying to put Laura out like they did her at Gloria's house! Yes, I think Laura's wrong for what's she's doing to Jackie, but she is really the one that sees Jackie for who she truly is! All the rest keep getting sucked into that whirlpool that is Jackie & acting oblivious to her crazabilities. ('cept Draya...she knows but STILL keeps getting sucked in.) I just wish Laura would be honest & not be so fake & obsessed with getting revenge! Weeeell....like the thong part of Brooke's leotard, I must disappear! HOLLA!!!!

RHOA RUNDIZZLE: LATE BUT STILL ON PIZZLE FO' SHIZZLE!!

Koo-Koo Kenya! You can almost see her mind snap in this pic.

I am sorry, but Kandi & her boo seem a tad awkward. I ain't hatin' neither...It's either awkwardness, or the way they've been editing their scenes. I dunno...I just ain't feelin' it...

Then again, I guess it ain't for me to feel. Hmmph! See, I can check myself too, boo! I'm an equal opportunity checker! Yes, I am! Anyhoo...Speaking of checks, Phaedra needs to check herSELF...I mean...Lesbi-Honest...Why she always lookin' at some other females gluteous maximases? Tellin' chicks to 'turn around & lemme see whatchu workin' with'! Uh no, sugar! Ain't no chicks gon' be spinnin' ME around & checkin' ME out! But I guess that's the 'New Normal' these days...Psssht! Anyway...Kim is miserable. Still. She's just miserable about something else besides her love life now. Namely her housing & pregnancy situation. She's the type that can create a problem where there really isn't one. You're not homeless...You got someplace to go. But of course, with all that Barbie hair to hold up, she has to save face. She does not want any of the sistahs to know and/or take satisfaction in her moving BACK to her townhouse! Girl, you better swallow some of that pride and do what you gotta do. Quit trying to always one-up the competition...especially when there are no other competitors! Then there's that Sour Patch Sweetie! Y'all...I don't think she's actually grasping that she's 'The Help'. Got the nerve to have her nose up in the air like she's not MORE homeless than Kim! And Kim...ain't your mama ever taught you nothin'? Don't be havin' no female, especially one as thirsty as Sweetie, always around your man! AND NEVER...NEVER talk to them about your sex life. Type-ah ignorant mess is that? Yeah, but Ebony & Ivory were high-tailing out of that party, weren't they? And it wasn't about Kim being hot or bored or nothing neither! Chick was just salty cuz she couldn't be all diva'd up in Red Bottom stilettos & whatnot & she couldn't drink. That's all that was! HEEEEY!!! NeNe has ARRIVED-AH! In case some of y'all didn't get the memo...Even though she arrived quite late, approximately 2 HOURS, to her own lil shindig! She did gain a few cool points from me when she showed her more humble side in that parade. She was nice to Kim & BitterSweetie too. Then they stood her up with their miserable selves, but that's ok...The party was for SUCCESSFUL, POWERFUL, BUSINESS women anyway, so good riddens, entrepreLosers! Wigs be gone! I do think Cynthia & Kenya are gonna be two Amazon models gone wild here soon. Kenya needs to be slapped to the point that her neck snaps back & she spins around & lands on the ground! Kenya...wow...She's a new type of cray-cray. Y'all see how mad she got when her dude just mentioned asking Kandi out ONCE, cuz SHE ASKED! AND dude got shot down! Nothin' even came of it! But Krazy Kenya almost flipped her weave! She went from 0 to Chris Brown in like 0.2 seconds! She is bonkers! And if he marries her, he just might find himself as that blurry figure laying in a pool of blood on Snapped! Well...I got another review to write, so I'm gonna make like dude shoulda when Kenya excused herself to the ladie's room & be OUT!!! HOLLA!!

On the Re-Election of OUR President, BARACK OBAMA

Ok. I have read some really disheartening things regarding our POTUS and Democrats in general. First of all, ALL Democrats are NOT Black, NOT freeloaders, are NOT receiving some form of public assistance, are NOT crackheads, are NOT unemployed. MANY of us ARE VERY hard workers, ARE from EVERY walk of life, ARE drug (and alcohol) free, ARE employed and ARE productive citizens AND OUR checks have taxes funding public assistance coming out of them too! #2: There was time in life that if you EVER let a threat towards the POTUS leave your lips, you would be charged with treason & possibly put to death! I don't remember all of this hate when George DUBYA was elected into office. Heck...I don't remember it when Bill Clinton was elected and HE was a Democrat. Then again...well...y'all know without me saying it. I know folks HAAAAATE when 'we' pull the race card, but what else has spawned such hate & animosity over a presidential election of which we've had for DECADES now? #3: It's DISTURBING to hear people say 'people voted for said candidate b/c of his race.' Unless you have polled all of the MILLIONS of voters, you are too undereducated to make that brash assumption! There were MANY BLACK CHURCHES who did NOT support OUR POTUS due to religious issues. Our POTUS could NOT have been re-elected with Black votes alone! THE WORLD HAS NOT COME TO AN END, HE'S JUST A MAN, LIKE THE OTHER 43 MEN BEFORE HIM!!!! Stop with hatred & the ungrounded opinions! IT'S COMPLETELY & UTTERLY RIDICULOUS & UNCALLED FOR!!

Basket(case) Wives Break Dizzle: Is Laura more bonkers than Jackie?

Heeeey, Gloria...Nice of you to swing by the set every once in an arrest. LOL! Y'all know she just had that speaking part last night cuz she wanted to keep the gossip mill from turnin' & churnin'! She HAD to explain why her basketball bad boy got hempt up since he couldn't tweet about it & all. Whatev! Brooke & Draya are besties now that Brooke said she would have her back if she was getting whooped in a fight! Draya ain't stupid. She knows she needs a bodyguard with her lil self. Malaysia & her teeth are being upstaged by her +1, Bambi. How you gon' bring a true nonfactor onto the show that YOU were established on & she becomes more relevant than you? SMH! Bambi ain't playin' with Laura either. She's ready to put her weave on the line for Jackie. Which is more than Jackie's own kids are willing to do for her. Jackie's daughters called her out on the same things the 'girls' have called her out on. Chick acts like

she's listening, apologizes, adores & still will not acknowledge what she did wrong. It's weird. Then she gets angry & 'hurt'! Child, puhlease! Save the tears for your pillow! HOWEVER, I think Laura might be just as, if not more, crazy than Jackie. I mean...What grown woman, who is not on a daytime soap opera, plots & schemes to that extent. You're willing to even bring her relationship with her kids into your twisted plan to bring her down AND play on your own molestation in the process. I'm with Bambi, that mess ain't cool AT ALL! That mess is between you & Jackie! Leave it there or better yet be done with Jackie & let it go! Y'all are too old for the drama y'all be puttin' yourselves in...for real. Then again, what would we watch & make a mockery of if y'all actually acted your ages? *Shrugs* And why did Laura, in that confessional scene, look like she had just fell on her cheek in a pile of glitter? What do these stylists be doing to these women? Anyhoo...I better make like Gloria & get lost! Until next week! HOLLA!!!

RHOA RUNDIGGITY DIZZOWN: Former Miss America is now Miss Stank-itude!

Well, they're back y'all! Those wives, or not, that we LOOOOVE to hate that we love! I ain't gon' lie...I'm gon' miss ol' Sheree with all her craziness & bourgeoisie-ness! She must be all consumed with the building of Chalet de Sheree...I sure hope it's more that just a plot of land by now! Moving right along...Kandi seems so happyyyyy...But then again, she always looks like that. LOL!! Same exact look when she was with her boo & when Kim & the Help were gettin' on her nerves during the tour of her house. Her. House. Two of them.That she bought outright. With cash, Kim. I just kept thinkin'...How YOU gon' hate & you're practically homeless? Kandi OWNS this home...er... these HOMES & not via the bank... & you and your knocked up tail gon' be walkin' thru it, turnin' up your nose & makin' jabs...Chile, puhlease! Maybe Kandi will let you stay in her guest house if you don't make her to mad, stupid. So y'all see that I mentioned the Help. Yes, y'all! Sweetie done made a come back, lookin' like Bobby Christina's older sister! Well, if somebody wanted to pay me to do nothing but ride around with them & kick it at their mansion & relinquish any ounce of dignity I might have...I just...might....NAAAAAAAAAH! Them days are over!!...As long as Mitt Romney don't get into office...LOL! Anyhoo, NeNe is really smellin' herself, ain't she? Talkin' bout she ain't been in none of Tyler Perry's movies cuz "We such good friendsss...." Mmhmm...Y'all such good friends that he ain't bother to call you & your tired bleach blonde doo to tell you that he changed his number...Mmmkay, girl! Speakin' of fronters & #1 stunters, that new girl Kenya...CHIIIIIIILE!! She's not snatched like Ms. Lawrence but I do believe she might get snatched UP this season, she keep on like she keepin' on! Got the nerve to be actin' like her poop don't stank & her hubby looks like an older version of Moesha's daddy! That' ain't hot! And all that make-up caked-up ain't hidin' yo' bad skin, boo, so ya really need to stop hatin' cuz you really have no room...Speaking of Pro-Active, Cynthier was ready! She done got herself a backbone this season! Standin' up to her baby daddy about the kid. I felt her on that, as a mother who is the primary caregiver of the chil'ren...don't come up in here tryin' to call full time shots when you're part time, sweets...I don't care how much better you look than my current. HA! Then she handled Kenya at that audition. I really think that something is mentally wrong with girls name Kenya...Wasn't ol' girl from Basketball Wives named Kenya? And she thought she was way more relevant than she really was too...Mmhmm..Welp! That pretty much does for this week! On behalf of the folks who love them some trashy, non-educational television, I want to say WELCOME BACK REAL (fake) HOUSEWIVES (most of you work & are not married) of ATLANTA! We missed you!! HOLLA!  

BASKET(CASE) WIVES RUNDIZZY:

Y'ALL WHAT IN THE TANGLED WEB OF WEAVE HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!? Ok, small pickles first! Wooh! Lemme get myself togethah! Ok...Gloria...Hey, girl! See you gettin' your Shaunie O'neal on, just makin' cameos n' thangs! Okaaay! U is important! Um...Bambi...You know you're hood if "Meet me at the park." immediately translates to "Let's fight!" in your brain. These folks on these shows ALWAYS meet in parks & thangs...SHEESH! Laura finally met her match though. I like the way Bambi is 

callin' her out & holdin' her accountable, HOWEVER, Bambi IS new, like Laura said, she's Malaysia +1, so she don't know Jackie.... yet. She will find out soon enough...it's inevitable. But you can tell Laura's intimidated by Bambi & that's funny...Maybe Laura needs to get her weight back up. LOL! Draya coming in that restaurant/bar dressed like Jackie had me rolliiiiing! Jackie could NEVER look that good in that get-up. She woulda looked like a busted can of biscuits in that see-thru shirt. Then Jackie....MAN! She's like a drunk auntie that embarrasses her self so bad at a get-together that EVERYBODY around is humiliated. She is soooo over the top, she's cleared the cuckoo's nest & is headed for orbit! She is quite a few pumpkins short of a pumpkin patch for reals! Brooke...oh Bah-rooke!!! She was as ready as a dog in heat, wasn't she?!? She wanted to fight SOME-BODY...ANY-BODY! Malaysia talked her way out of her butt-whoopin'...Though I think a lot of that had to do with the Great Wall of Bambi standin' behind her. Brooke ain't about that life...but she was about tryin' to rip that dollar store headband out of Jackie's hair. Why, Jackie? Why would you even try it? Then whenever Brooke got in striking distance, she wanted to act like she was tryin' to calm her down & when folks got between her she wanted to keep talkin' mess! Can't believe that they cut the fight! Word in the street is Jackie didn't want it to be shown & threatened to sue VH1 if they showed it. Don't know how true that is...but I can believe it. And the poor bar dude...He ain't know what to do, did he? He was just standing there probably thinkin', "These are really a bunch of angry Black women!" Way to represent, ladies! SMH! Jackie is messy & a mess-starter & a mess-keep-on-goin'-er. <---I just made that term up.---> It's even rollin' over into her family life as her own kids don't even like her. BTW- Is her one daughter by Shaq? HA! Lemme quit cuz that's how rumors get started. As dignified as Shaunie tries to act, if that was true, she would be the next one to have a handful of Jackie's weave. Wait til Jackie's kids see this episode with their mama parading in a public place in her girdle & panties. THAT'S the scene they shoulda cut. I thought my eyes were gonna bleed! My husband had to give me warm milk & rock me to sleep because of that mess! I'm an avid watcher of The Walking Dead & ain't NEVAH seen nothing THAT terrorizin'! Well...I'm gonna leave y'all with words from the wise K. Michelle (hope Jackie reads this ;o)..."Don't SHAKE unless you're ready to get SHOOK!" HOLLA!

Basketcase Wives Rundoooown: Jackie May Unleash the Crazy, But Not the Hubby!

If I haven't mentioned it before or enough... Malaysia's teeth are H-U-G-E! Seriously...she can bite a hole in a donut...several of 'em...AT THE SAME TIME! I can't take it! She can't even close her mouth! When they were doing that para-sailing/kite thing, I was kinda hoping she would fall on her teeth & be dragged a while to sand off some of nem joints! I'm also beginning to think she's a bit of an instigator. I mean...she tries to come off like the peacemaker, but the way she goes about things is sneaky & underhanded. First, inviting Jackie to Gloria's party & not giving anybody a heads up, & now, with asking Brooke, 'Can I bring 'somebody'?' without telling her who it is. Why didn't she just ask, 'Can I bring Bambi?' knowing that they got beef. You don't do mess like that...That'll getcha popped!<--In my Tammi from the OG BBW voice--> Bambi almost acts more scared than anything & I don't blame her...Brooke looks like

she can throw them paws from the previews of next week's show...But that's next week...Moving right along. Laura is just as funny as she is two-faced. "I do...I mean, not dissin'...but I think I got jokes." & the faces she be making...though some I don't think she can help. LOL! Bambi just wants drama. Ain't nobody sneak-dissin' you, Paranoid Patty....& Messy Malaysia, "Call her on it!" always dippin'...HUSH, Puppy! Laura's outfit was outrageous, but I think she thought Jackie was gonna go that route too being that she did go that route on just a casual night out....Why not at your Salute-To-the-Gay-Community-Over-the-Top 17th Marriage to the same man??? But once again, Jackie always does the opposite of what makes sense. She's clearly chemically imbalanced! & Doug is too or just really whipped...I'm guessing the latter. He's her puppy at her beck & call...Doggie Christie...So sad. That little exchange between her & Brooke was uncomfortable. She really should know she's not a match. Crazy don't make you a fighter, boo. Stick to 'adoring' chicks, then plotting against them...that's what you do best. Changing into high-top Nikes 'to take a drink' .... Maaaaan...puhlease! You are not hard, Jackie-Lantern! You're just CRAZY. That's it! Well...like the straight-jacket Jackie should be wearing, time for me to wrap it up! HOLLA!!

Basket(Cases) Wives Rundoo-ow-ow-ow-oooown: Bambi From Da Block

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!! So much to saaaaay! First up--> Bambi. Where in the Hoodratville did she come from?!? Oh yeah...that's right...Straight outta Compton. Maaaan, she is the Queen of Ratchet City! I know it's Breast Cancer Awareness month & e'erthang & I'm support it 100%... but who wears a pink bandana with an after-five dress to a promotional party? I mean....this is a 'dressy' event, your Ratchetness! THEN the chick just KEPT wearin' the bandana...with like...EVERYTHANG in E'ER SCENE! Is that her signature bandana or something?!? She must be the one to blame for Malaysia's recent horrendous head gear catastrophes. She did look good for her performance, though & I agree with her on that Laura/Malaysia tip with being fake with Jackie....BUT crazy knows & supports crazy & if she really likes Jackie like she says she does, then the girls need to be really watchin' their backs cuz if she's Jackie Crazy AND from Compton, she's not only gonna flip the script but she's sho' nuff gon' cut u while she's doin' it! Anyway...Yeah, Malaysia how u gon' bring the Bride of Dougie back to life, then want get tired of her so fast? That's YOUR project...her & her many personalities! You better get some more patience & stop rollin' them Garfield eyes lookin' like a human caricature! You need to get your friend! Speaking of friends, Brooke & Draya are really chummin' it up, hangin' out with the kids & thangs... Let's talk about the kids. It was good to see Draya's son...Thought he'd have better hair. LOL! I quit. But Brooke's kids are GROWN! Now... I ain't one to knock no one's hustle...unless they're a drug dealer or a contract killer...but...er...um...Her one boy is 13. He's old enough to see or have friends that see his mama on the cover & in them magazines all scantily clad. I wonder how he feels about that. Ok...Mama is makin' money- but kids, especially African-American boys, don't like to see their mamas half dressed, especially for all to see. I mean, just think...His friends and their fathers lookin' & lustin' over his mama. I don't know...I just find that kinda...Yikes. Not judgin', just sayin. Also, what kind of example is it setting for her beautiful 15 yr old daughter. Sex sells??? Don't get me wrong, Brooke looks great...I ain't hatin'...But I'm a mom of a boy and a girl, both teenagers...Making money, great body, whatever...There's no price on my kids' innocence &/or their respect...That's why I keep my tight body covered with this here skin-toned bubble wrap! HAAA! Anyhoo, moving right along. Laura is as fake as her nose....and she might be just as bona fide psychotic as Jackie. I mean...she's literally plottin' against her. What grown woman does that? "She was actin' all best friend with me, then goin' back & doggin' me, so I'm doin' the same to her. I got plans for, Jackie." Whaaaa-? I figured it out though. Laura is spiteful. I know...Don't call me a genius. But that's also why she's so quick to tell Jackie to put her foot in lil' Draya's mouth or tailbone, cuz she's still salty about lil' Draya messin' with her man in that locker room. Yep...If you ain't heard about it, Google it. She's Lifetime Movie cray-cray...Right along with Jacked-up Jackie, cryin' all up in Bambi's set like that. I think she was crying cuz she realized how stupid she looked in that Pirate of the ScaryBeings mess she was wearing. Seriously...Her dementia is really starting to show...& it's gettin' uglier... Tryin' to keep up with the younguns. SMH! Whatever happened to growing old gracefully? Somebody needs to tell her to BATHE in the Oil of Olay instead of SNIFFING it. Well...like Jackie's fashion sense, I'm DONE! HOLLA!!!

N the News 2day: My Vote is Colorblind!

They're gonna do a study to see if the Blacks who want to vote for Obama are only doing so because he's Black. Um...A better question would be are those Whites who want to vote for Romney only doing so because Obama is Black? Hmmm?!? I, personally, am voting for PRESIDENT Obama because he really has MY, the 47% middle class's, best interest in mind. I don't agree with all his views but I do agree with the way he views ME, my coworkers and my loved ones. The candidate I like just HAPPENS to be Black. Not my fault, neither is it HIS! Matter of fact, it's not a FAULT at all! 'Certain' people CRIED when Obama was elected into office...CRIED, I SAY!!!! When has anybody CRIED over a President being elected into office because they thought the country was DOOMED?!? And it sure wasn't just because he is a Democrat because if that was the case, why didn't they cry when Clinton was elected? They CRIED and almost lost their minds because Ob

ama is HALF Black...Now, he is the 'Anti-Christ' and America has been 'OVER-TAKEN'(since Romney feels the need for 'us' to 'take America BACK' o_O). The negative response to having a Black President was so outrageous that they deemed it necessary to make a VIDEO of the reactions of 'certain' people who wanted to leave the country & really thought America was gonna spontaneously combust under PRESIDENT Obama's rule...simply because the country had never had a President of color. (REGARDLESS OF THE 'POLITICAL EXCUSES' THEY TRY TO GIVE TO COVER UP THE 'REAL' REASON! Shoot, some even came right out and said it was because he was Black...Which I would almost rather than the LIES!) Wow. Sure wish folks would stop trying to flip the script & shift the blame.

Basket(case) Wives Rundoooown: Where has Jackie's hamster gone? It's no longer running on it's little wheel...

Ok. Malaysia and them dang-on headwraps...Seriously...Those chicks ain't her real friends, cuz they wouldn't let her go 'round lookin' like Sista Chiquita Banana Model with them thangs on her head...Then, that one scene where she had that chopped up bob wit them 1970 Floor Model TV lookin' glasses....Them thangs took up her whole face! Whhhyyyy would they let her keep doin' stuff like that to herself?!? I guess anything to TRY to take the focus off them giant teeth of hers. Them thangs look like billboards with available space. SMH! Least they white though...She need to donate some of her teeth to her girl...cuz Bambi's teeth are too little...Or her gums are too big...I don't know...Maybe her & Malaysia just need to trade grills all together since Malaysia's Amazon teeth would better fit Bambi's Amazon body. LOL!! What a moving scene with the sisters. Laura might shouldn't cry though...She gotta OOGLY cry face! Sheesh! Her top lip look like it was havin' an allergic reaction to something...maybe it was allergic to emotion...tears...IDK, but that thang spread all across her face...made her look like that guy on the MAD magazine cover. Glad they talked though. Nothin' like a sisterly bond. It was really sad to hear of Gloria's miscarriage. K...Nuff of that mushy stuff. Why for come Draya's mama look 60 & her daddy look 35? I was mad they cut that fight off between her and Jackie Coo Coo. Jackie's not only bonkers but she's also a liar! I can't stand females like that! AND she's like 55! Ain't she supposed to be done with this kinda drama by now. I mean, really...I heard about women in their midlife goin' through menopause, but Jackie is going through MENTAL-pause. Her mental faculties are shutting down at a rapid pace. I mean, your like 58, fightin' young broads in clubs with 9 inch heels & a suit on that probably fit you just right 20 yrs ago! Quit playin' & take a seat, in your hover round, Grandmother, 'fore you break a hip! Ain't nobody got time for that! But I don't like the way Laura is playin' Jackie...Talkin' bout, "I don't understand why she thinks I'm her friend..." MAYBE CUZ YOU TOLD HER YOU LIKED HER, FAKESTER! MAYBE CUZ YOU KEEP MEETING UP WITH HER & HAVIN' FRIENDLY CONVERSATION, PHONY PONY! Laura done got her face done in more ways than one...Matter of fact, she's got TWO-FACES! Ok...well let me make like Jackie with Malaysia's earring in that yet-to-be-aired fight scene & knock it off! LOL!!! I'm OUT!!! HOLLA!

Ratchetball Wives Rundooooown: Lazarus AKA Satan?

Malaysia makes me want to go to sleep...cuz she always looks like she's finsta go to sleep. Don't she? And she's BOR-ING-ah! She bored HERSELF to sleep in that sound booth. LOL!! Anyhoo... Don't nobody want one

of nem funky 'exclusive' Basketball Girlfriends/Baby Mamas/Jump Offs/Wives <which is very rare> chains. Ok...Maybe I do think it's cute, but there will be a knock off available in your local hair store and/or AM/PM shop soon. Don't sweat it. What is up with Malaysia's head gear lately? I don't get it. First the doily head band, then yesterday she was all turbaned out lookin' like she was finsta tell Laura her future & she did... kinda when she said,"You WILL speak to your sister...or I will." Why she think she's always Sister Fix-A-Chick. Stay in your lane, MaLazy Eyes. LOL! But I do wonder what is going on between the sisters. Y'all think its because Gloria stole all the femininity from Laurence...er...a...Laura? LOL! Just kidding...That is sooo wrong...Laura looks nice...She's all dressin' up this season n' thangs....but she'll still 'fart on your face if you lay down.' Hmmm...yeah...Anyhoo...Just as I thought I was gonna like Brooke, I'm kinda gettin' leery of her now...I mean she feels like she can really 'hang' & have a good time with Dr. Jackie & Mrs. Hyde. Then again, Jackie gotta way of making folks feel like that & then....when she can't stifle it no more...OUT JUMPS THE MANIAC!! Brooke gon' learn, I'm sure. Though she shoulda known something when she went to that pool party & seen that psychotic set up with the girls' pictures on the food table. Who prints out Google pics of their party guests & puts them in bedazzled frames as party decor??? And the cards from the .99 cent (Blank Inside) section...with the over the top reaction from Jackie. Hey, cray-cray...YOU wrote the cards...Now...You & your multiple personalities pull yourselves together! Then this chick gonna be upset that the girls didn't react the way SHE wanted them to. What type of one-flew-over-the-cuckoo's-nest type mess is that? She don't wanna be certifiable all by herself. Well, don't worry, Sybil...Your many personalities are crazy right along with you! I seent (yes, seenT) fear in lil ol' Draya's eyes when Jackie said that prayer over her food. It was HI-LARIOUS when she asked,"Who was you praying to?" LOL! Jacked-up got all defensive like, "I heard about all that SatOnic stuff...Lazarus is NOT a friend of mine!" O_o SatONIC? Lazarus?!? We went from talking about Jesus to the devil to a possible drink to a biblical character who was raised from the dead? I even think she actually called him LazaRETH...but whatever...She's so loud AND wrong it's ridiculous. Really....Jackie, Mama Dee & Mama Jones need to put out an Ebonics & Ignorance Tutoring Kit for Dummies translated by Joseline. LOL!!!!! Well, like Jackie Crazy...er...Christie...I'm OFF!! Holla!!!

RatchetBall Wives LA Rundoooown

Some folks just need to try harder than others to make themselves relevant...like Malaysia with that whole made up, silly, 'if my friend don't like you, neither do I' high school 'code of the streets' beef she's trying to have with Brooke. Don't look at me like that, Malaria! Oh...that's right...she can't help it. LOL! Don't she have one of them looks though, that if you were in an argument with her, you would want to smack her?!? But don't let them giant veneers & that bougie foreign country name fool ya! Don't forget Malaysia is her MIDDLE name...her gubment name is LaQuisha & she's straight outta Compton, sweetie! Don't get it twisted...like that oogly doily headband she had on yesterday! & you know you need to second guess something if Grandma Jackie likes it! HA! Still, that mess is petty! I'm liking ol' Brooke more & more as the episodes go on...Love that she checked Macedonia & her friend with,"If you're

wanting to fight over a man, you've already lost!" Check, please!! Woooh! She ain't told nothin' but the truth, bless her big eyeballs! Her peripheral vision gotsta be off the chain...lookin' like Bambi...the deer, y'all! SMH! Anyhoo...Jackie's daughter's coming back! And her loco mama ain't even have to fake her own death to manipulate her neither. Whaaaat?!? I guess it's true...There's a love for your mother that's like none other!......I think she just underestimated the cost of living alone. That's it. That's all! Let her save up some paper...She'll be gone again...Prolly further away to...like...Malaysia! HAAA!!! I want Jackie to stop tellin' folks she's a model. You WERE a model, you walkin' insane asylum! Now you're just taking pictures with Bengay rubbed all over your wrankly self! Need tah be modelin' straight jackets for Shady Groves Mental Hospital..."I'm not only a spokesperson...I'm a client too!" & the branding on her ham hock-as Draya so eloquently put it ....with the over the top hug for the tattoo artist...My face was just like Draya's...I can't! Speaking of can't....I can't take scenes like the one with Draya & Gloria. I was like Chris Brown in a room full of Women Against Domestic Violence Activists...UN-COM-FORT-ABLE! Okaaaay! Matt got Gloria so messed up that she's about to forget the ball & go straight for the basket! SMH! The foolery! Welp...Like Jackie's old jugs of curdled milk in EVERY scene, I'm OUT! HOLLA!!!

Basketball Lies Rundown

Malaysia...Ok..that's all I have to say about her. Go ahead Gloria, trying to get your acting on! K..that about wraps her up... Um, Draya....You are cute & e'erthang, but please check your diva-tude at the door! Don't start smelling yourself too much too soon cuz ain't nobody else gonna wanna get a whiff of ya! While you busy slamming doors in folks faces, you're allowing other broads to walk through those same doors. Shoooot....e'erbody gotta eat....even strippers, turned video vixen, turned reality talk show star, turned bikini line designers! Okaaaay! And is it just me or does Brooke kinda resemble Kandi from Real Housewives of Atlanta? She even has that kinda nasally voice like ol' girl...Hmmm.. Jackie is still going with the certifiable theme. Why Laura play her like that though? Telling her to get out of her sister's house, then calling her to come back so they can see her boots...Just blatantly (childishly) taunting her...Then when Laura calls to actually meet up with her, Jackie's like "I'm was so glad she called & wanted to meet with me because I didn't know

where we stood as 'girl friends'." What?!? She basically told you to kick rocks in your biker boots & you're not sure where you stood? You stood outside looking stupid, holding a conversation with a bunch of hens who don't like you, in your dang biker boots! I ain't gonna lie...I didn't understand why Laura called to meet with her after she played Geriatric Jackie like that. I understand wanting to squash the beef...but you were JUST bullying her, in a sense. That's why I think a lot of this stuff is staged or plotted out by the producers. Anyhoo- Laura look good, don't she? She must be on that Jenny Craig & that Michael Jackson (cuz her nose is different too). Hee! Heeee! Welp, that about does it...for this go 'round & rundown! Just like Brooke's eyes, it's time for me to part ways! LOL!!! HOLLA!!

(LATE) Love(less) & Hoodbunnies REUNION PART 2 RUNDOOOOOWN

Again I apologize for my tardiness, but FB was trippin' yesterday & I had to log off 'fore I launched the PC out the window! Enough of those sorry's...In my Mimi voice, "I got sorry's greetin' me at the front door!" LOL! Anyhoo, I am so glad this season is over...kinda...cuz I am as tired as K.Michele's hairstylist of that dang-on ratchet triangle with Joseline n' nem! But Joseline is Justalyin' when she be sayin', "I'm usin' heem fuh his ses n' hees money!", cuz in the next breath she's cryin' talkin 'bout, "Nobody care fuh me like Steebie!" Just like Mimi, she's just decided to lay down & allow Stupid J to walk all over her in them Italian loafers. SMH! And he ain't even have no ride? No vehicle?? So that scene when he showed up at Mimi's client's house he had to get a ride there? Such a shame. Stupid J gets lamer & lamer by the minute. "But I gotta car now tho!" Shaddup, you rat-faced loser! Then that mess with the Old Couple...Really, Karlie? A polygamist? That was the most meaningless dig ever & she spent $15 to put it on a t-shirt...idiot. Bobblehead Ben is not a polygamist just cuz he had a naked woman in his house hours after y'all's 'non-proposal'. She obviously don't know the definition of the word just like she don't know she shouldn't make fun of somebody's teeth when it looks like she's been eatin McBrick sammiches. But ignorance is bliss...or so they say. Speaking of ignorance...Mama Dee is just about as blissful as they come! I mean, she really is living in La-La Land with all that royalty talk. Yeah, she is definitely the Queen of her own little KingDUMB! She's def crossed that line into the Land of Soft White Walls & Self-Hug Jackets when she brought out that Burger King crown & placed it on her Prince's head. Scrappy HAD to be embarrassed, man. And the thang was so huge, had it not been for his gigantic teeth, that crown woulda been around his neck. She musta sized that thing for Benzino. LOL! Well, Erica got her ring y'all! Much to the dis-my-ee of Shiz-ny-ee who had to leave the stage to criz-ny-ee! Poor girl. But she ain't leave 'fore she put Lil Scrappy on blast...Well, she put herself on blast really...cuz she was the dumb one to put HIS stuff in HER name! Females really will fall for the okie-doke over some jokie-joke, won't they? "YOU SAID U WAN'T GON' DO ME LIKE DAT!" Okaaaay....You think you was the only one he made empty promises to? He was playing you & his baby moms like Uno. Trying to make you believe you was the only one...Only you knew that he was keeping you a secret as the tape showed. Why else would you be a secret, speshul? Your secret love, will never be your true love! Don't nobody listen to Luther no more?!? Well, at least she ain't have all that hair to weigh her down as she made her dramatic exit off the stage...She just got up with her 27 piece & fled, y'all! She went from looking like the Cowardly Lion to one of the Wicked Witch's lil monkeys, didn't she? Buckeey gonna be alright though...I mean she survived being dumped by Flavor Flav, didn't she? Heeeey...Maybe Mama Dee could dance on that pole for Flavor Flav...Yeah... I just threw up in my mouth a little bit... Welp, that about does it for this season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta Rundowns! I've enjoyed & was appalled by every minute of it! Like Shay 'Buckeey' Johnson, Jiz-ny-ee has left the building!! Holla!

BRAXTON BRRREAK-DOWN!! Who's Thirsty? Gabe & Andre...That's who...Hmmm...More like PARCHED!!

  I know y'all were gettin' antsy awaiting my breakdown. I finsta keep it short but sassy...I'm gonna make it snappy, Pappy. Toni- Just cuz u gots the most ' medical conditions' don't make you no doctor! Pow! Just when w

e thought Tamar couldn't get any more extra, she does & puts the 'extra' in the freezer! Best quote of the night was by her daddy, "When you gonna take 'em out the freezer & put 'em in the oven?' Right! We needs to get the buns a-bakin'! But no pressure! I was probably more disappointed than Towanda that her date ended up being that LOSER, Andre! I mean...That's WORSE than a blind date. You already KNOW he's a complete & utter waste of skin. THEN all the gifts...dinner...Who's payin' for awla dis?!? Mmhmmmmm....Her mama sho'll got her back for those dates she sent her on! Matter fact, Towanda owes Mama Braxton a lil somethin' extra for that little mess she pulled! Shoooooooot....Is his name Andre? Who cares? Then there's GABE-AH! I cannot STAND him...BUT Trina...man...Girl, you can't keep stringing him along using him for his 'finances'! If you're done with him...BE DONE WITH HIM!! Don't invite him back into your life on the 'business' tip & then try to act all upset when jealousy & stalking tendencies rear their ugly heads! As long as he has you up under his wallet he has you under his control....Seriously FREE YOURSELF, girl! AND...once again...Where is Trina from??? Traci. Why does she sound like she's from Fargo or somewhere with elongated O's??? Did y'all notice how I just threw Traci up in there? Yeah...That's how they be doing her! She gets in where she fits in, poor chile...Anyhoo, well, I kept it short & sassy just like I promised! Holla!!

Love(less) & Hoodbunnies REUNION Rundooooown

MAN! Y'all know I could hardly wait to talk about this buffoonery today! Wow-sersssss! Soooo much happened last night, I gots to get my thoughts together! Ok...First things first! Karlie just admit it...You're old. It's ok. Seasoned is good...maybe not for you to be trying to get a rap/singing career off the ground...but it's good for baking cookies & being a grandma. Maybe you & Rasheeda can make some hits together...Call yourselves the "G-OLD-en Girls". 30+ is really too old to just be gettin' started on being a rap artist. I know Rasheeda been started, but she ain't got no where...Y'all need to try out for the X-Factor, then y'all will have a little better chance if you make it in the 30 & over group. K.Michele went in on Karlie  (she did look like Michael Jackson in Thriller) AND Rasheeda...Talked about how Rasheeda disrespected her hubby, how their marriage wasn't gonna work...but THEN....she had the AUDACITY to talk about the bags under her eyes... & THAT'S when Rasheeda felt froggy! You can dog me &/or my marriage, but don't you DARE talk about my eye luggage!! Her priorities are all messed up! Funny how she kept calling K.Michele bipolar but she's the one that couldn't control her temper. Hah, well...I do know that K.Michele's hair looked a little bipolar...It ain't know WHAT it was doin'? I guess her hair stylist ran out of things to do with her hair after all them changes she went thru on the show. But she ain't winning no gold medals so let me leave her hair alone. LOL! Ericka looked pretty...Yeah. Soooo.... Joseline sure called Scrappy out though...."Yo man know Ah'ma womeen, Ah yoose ta dahnce fah heem aw dee time...He know!" Yeah...tuck that tail Scrappy. Stuff started gettin' real tense when they started talkin' about that scuffle between Scrappy & Sleazy J...then they brought on Mama Dee & it went from real tense to real confusing...Mama Dee talkin'boutthronesqueens&princes say whaaat? No better way to kill tension than to throw in some meaningless derailing jibber jabber from a retired pimp addicted to prescription meds. Anyhoo...A lot of the relationships seemed to change since the show during the reunion last night. Friends on the show were no longer friends on the reunion...The only relationship that seems to be intact is the infamous triangle of Joseline, Stupid J, & Mimi. Mimi tried to sit up there like everything was everything- putting on this strong front, but the real came out when Mona asked the #1 question & Mimi stutter-stepped & once again used their offspring as a ticket to ride the Stevie J Community Bus. I have to even almost respect Joseline for not only keeping it real, admitting to only wanting that diseased rat's money & 'mess', confessing her true 'love' & 'respect' for Mimi even though she was sleeping with her man...& still is, but she's also a 'Woman of God'<insert choir music overture here>. Yeah. Soooo....Um...Yeeeah....Maybe one of her identities was at some point...but um...'Joseline Hernandez, you have a leetle work tah do, boo, 'fore you cahn claim dat titow.'<in my Shenellica Bettencourt voice> HA! Well, I don't know if the side of my brain that allows me to consume this utter nonsense will have recuperated by next week or not, but I will try to minimize my ignorance intake this week so that I can indulge in the festivities that will be the Reunion Part 2 next week! Until then, I'm gonna make like Karlie's birth certificate & get lost! HAAA!!

Love(less) & Hoodbunnies FINALE Rundown Stevie J with his own 'bus'!

The MALES of L&HHATL...MEN are questionable...

Love(less) & Hoodbunnies Rundown: Ok...Wow! So much to say about last night's finale episode! Where do I start? I know...let's go with the non-factors first. Rasheeda & her MANager! Mmm......that's about it. LOL! 'Cept K.Michele had me crackin' up with that impression of Rasheeda's eye baggage! LOL!!! She's perty but she do got some crazy bags! She STILL don't believe K.Michele got beat! Just because you see somebody in a relaxed environment with an audience all the time does not mean you KNOW them & how they act behind closed doors. Most people act different in relationships, especially when there's no audience! Of course dude is on his best behavior b/c of the accusations against him & his desire to make K.Michele out a liar. I wouldn't mess with Rasheeda no more if I was K.Michele. That ain't no kinda loyalty. & what's friendship without loyalty? Like Erika, let's move on! YAAAY! I'm so happy to see that she is making an actual attempt to move on & was the first to be honest with Scrappy with the 'relationship' thing. 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!' LOL! Then she's finsta holla at an Italian dude?!? A realtor?!? You go, girl! Who wants to lug a thug when you can be carried by a stud?!? I'll tell you who...Buckie aka Shae wants to. She loves Scrappy's dirty draws & his broken language, ya heard? Hurt her lil feelings...& her big hair...HA! Then it showed Scrappy bein' spoon fed by his crazy Mapa. <--That is not a misspelling. I am now convinced that Mama Dee is not his mama but his papa...I'm just sayin'...Her 'pimp/player' MENtality is a little suspect...& I really couldn't believe Erika would let her daughter be alone with them two hoods. I would be afraid of what's she's learning & NOT learning all at the same time. Speaking of learning...Benzino & his no neck havin' self learnt...yes, learnT that Loosey Goosey, Karlie a lesson fo' sho'! How she gon' get mad when he snatched that ring back & SHE was the one talkin' bout keepin' her options (legs) 'open'?!? I'm sooo glad he felt her out & THEN pulled the ring out....& let her know, "I liked it & was gon' put a ring on it! BUUUUT..." Man...he might need to put an APB out on his neck bone but his back bone is fully intact! Way to go, Bobblehead...er...Benzino! Now on to the train wreck. Yes, Joseline said,"He had ses wit mah bes' freend & I wuz dere...I washed!" WHAAAAAT in the NASTY, INFESTED world is that?!? These people better be gettin' tested for HIV/AIDS cuz they are just ASKING for some sort of virus with the mess they're doing! And Sicko J with that t-shirt on that read 'I AM GOD'...WRONG! You are God-LESS!!! I'm sure God hasn't struck him down yet because He's got something much more punishing than that in store for that serpent. Then all that bus talk...I can't. You ain't drivin' no bus, nooka! YOU AIN'T GOT NO LICENSE!!<--In my Martin voice. E'erytime we see him in a car he's on the passenger side like the scrub he is or he's slithering away from wherever he's at. That thing he had in the studio with hiiiimm...Y'all thought K.Michelle's teeth were big...CHIIIIIILD! Ol' girl look like she could bite a hole in a doughnut, honey! She has to have a TEAM of dentists for those mugs! Her teeth upstaged e'erybody in that scene! Speaking of stages & scenes, that scene at Mimi's 'client's house' was sooooo staged. How the idiot know she was there & who shows up at somebody's client's house to discuss relationship issues? Then Stupid J did it again, "You look too cute to argue." Passive-aggressive sociopath is the correct diagnosis, I do believe. I really hope Mimi is sincerely done with him. It's kinda weird that Joseline was the homewrecker, but Mimi is LITERALLY The Clean Up Woman. LOL!!! Welp, I guess that'll do us for L&HH Atl this season, but don't get too comfortable, more ratchetness is to come on September 10th with Basketball Wives LA!!! GYEAH, BOYEEEEE! HOLLA!!