Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Ratchet Reunion Rundoooown (Basketball Wives)

WHAAAT?!?! These chicks really seem to have had some sort of exorcism or something. Priest Shaunie musta soul-checked them soostas and told them to get their act together or she would be withholdin' some payments or something. Either that or Jennifah's lawsuits were enough to EX-OR-CISE THE DEMON cause Tami and Ev was really....um....different....'growing' is what they kept calling it. Well, grow on, ladies! Grow on! Though it was visible to the viewing audience with working eyeballs whenever they had to check themselves. Their eyes would get that glaze and lips would twitch and they would span right back to the host without blinking. I believe Tami might've even had cue cards or was reading from a teleprompter or something cause she was very politically correct and almost....kind...yeah...scary. I'm glad Evelyn had the Big Bang Theory covering up her evil eyes and furrowed brow! I'm sure she only has half a tongue left after biting it for the second half of the show when Queen Jennifah finally made her dramatic, late entrance onto the stage. Evelyn's bun probably exploded when she got back to her dressing room. Jennifah's so extra...from her height, to them ears, to her bottom lip, to elongated neck with that Adam's apple...I know she's from like New York or something but she's built like a Texan...cause everything's bigger...LOL!! She just keeps getting more & more bougie! For real...you have to start off in the back and then have bodyguards to escort you to the stage?? PAH-LEASE!! Jennifah could punch her attackers OVER them lil action figures' heads! Are you kidding me?!? At least she did apologize... somewhat. Somebody needs to teach her that REAL apologies have no 'buts' though.  Kenya's still stupid and crazy & like Royce and Suzie, only took up space on the stage. Poor Kesha...Her nerves are still on the edge, just like she was on her chair the entire show...She was always sitting in 'ready to run' position. Poor chile...She just needs to tell Tami off one good time, windmill her way through the fight (that will surely ensue) and regain some of her backbone...I mean, I respect that she's not a savage, but when you talk so much stuff, be ready and women enough to back that mess up. Don't play the dumb role, like "I don't know what you're talking aboouuuut....Did I say thaaaat?...Who told you I said thaaaat?" I can't stand when folks don't own up to their mess. Put your hands on your hips and say it with your chest, "Yeah...I said x, y AND z...And...WHATCHUGONNADOABOUTIT?" Then duck and cover you face or whatever...but WOMAN UP & TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY! After all, it will all come out in the reunion when they run back them tapes. DUUUUH! I commend Shaunie & VH1 on wanting to be positive and I think it's grand...But let's be real...Who's gonna tune into a bunch of women kumbi-yaing, holdin' hands & planting flowers? We complain about the ratchedness, but honestly, that's the reason we tune in every week. Hey...Just WOMAN-ING UP and owning up to what I do & the reasons I do it. *shrugs* Welp...One more part of the reunion to go! Basketball Wives goes Maury on us with polygraph results! Seriously, ladies...GET YOUR LIFE! <In my Tamar Braxton voice> But, of course, I'm gonna watch! *shrugs*  P.S.(Royce- Don't cry.) BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!  Aaaand I'm out! Hollaaaa!

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